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dd massive earring dilemma!!

(107 Posts)
jollymollie Sun 11-Nov-12 15:23:43

Dd2 is 7 and had her ears pierced 7 weeks ago after much begging and pleading. Last week they were meant to come out. School need her to take them out for pe. Anyway she flatly refuses to let anyone touch them and cannot get them out herself. I have spent countless hours over the last week pleading and bribing but nothing has worked. I simply cannot just leave them in any longer. She has missed weeks of pe so far and school will not accept plasters over them. Short of pinning her down does anyone have any suggestions? We are getting desperate!

Sirzy Sun 11-Nov-12 15:53:24

Take them out. Tell her if she screams when you do it she obviously isn't old enough to have her ears pierced so won't be having them back again.

Your the adult and she has to do what she is told.

Gentleness Sun 11-Nov-12 15:53:48

She's going to have to learn to deal with fear some time. If you are sure that is at the root of it, talk about different techniques for managing fear and get her to choose the one she is going to use.

jollymollie Sun 11-Nov-12 15:54:27

Yes in either ways she does try to rule. She is very strong willed but the earring saga has upset her. With hindsight I wouldn't have let her have it done and once out they are staying out.

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 11-Nov-12 15:55:56

Putting the "ruling the roost" thing aside, has she been turning them? because if she hasnt they might be a bit sore and stuck to the flesh and this would hurt.

I'm a podiatrist and we were told kids will play up in front of parents but behave for HCP better. Perhaps the nurse could take them out?.

But that would be my offer to her, either mum takes them out you wear them at the weekend or the Dr's does it and they seal over till you leave home missy! smile

valiumredhead Sun 11-Nov-12 15:56:38

I bet a no telly until they are out would result in quick removal wink

Selks Sun 11-Nov-12 15:59:20

Crikey who is the parent here??

LadyMargolotta Sun 11-Nov-12 15:59:52

Not sure if I would bother a doctor or nurse's time with it tbh.

Op you are unlikely to get much sympathy on mumsnet. Mumsnetters are notoriously anti earring for anyone under 18.

jollymollie Sun 11-Nov-12 16:00:00

Yes she has been turning them regularly. She has spent a good part of the day trying to get them out herself. They are first studs so are quite firmly attached to the backs. Think I will get Dh and ds to pin down and take out. Don't think I could bring myself to.

Sirzy Sun 11-Nov-12 16:00:57

Will she let you take the backs off and then she can pull the ear ring out?

valiumredhead Sun 11-Nov-12 16:01:16

It's not about being anti earrings lady I'm not but the issue here isn't the earrings it's about an adult who is allowing her dd to miss PE lessons rather than risk her screaming.

purpleroses Sun 11-Nov-12 16:02:22

My sister did that as a young child and they got left in. One of the little butterflys got stuck in her ear eventually and had to be removed in A&E. She never got over the trauma of it all enough to have them redone. As suggested above tell her that if she cannot care for them herself GP will have to take them out and leave them to heal.

Does she have a friend with pierced ears who could come round and encourage her? Or let her take yours out for practice and to show her it won't hurt?

mysteryfairy Sun 11-Nov-12 16:02:43

For all the posters saying just take them out I'm not sure how you physically would? DS split his head open at a similar age and needed stitching. He just would not stay still for this to happen. In the end he was wrapped in a blanket and held down whilst it was done but it was incredibly distressing and 7 nurses were involved. A friend in a similar positions child ended up having a GA.

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 11-Nov-12 16:03:07

The GP can do the authoritarian thing though.

I had mine at 7 but that was 28 years ago and the school wasnt bothered as long as you didnt have hoops.

valiumredhead Sun 11-Nov-12 16:04:15

See my earlier post mystery

Narked Sun 11-Nov-12 16:05:13

I feel so sorry for your DD. You wimped out and let her have them done, wimped out of taking them out when you found they couldn't be covered for games and now you're wimping out of taking them out when she can't.

fuzzpig Sun 11-Nov-12 16:05:16

I would have assumed that taping over them was fine - that's what we all did at both primary and secondary.

At least if you take them out now, they should heal over fairly quickly. I think the summer between primary and secondary is a good age for getting them done (but I'm biased as that's when me and all my friends had it!) - kind of a rite of passage smile

When I'd had mine done, they were pretty much fine, but on one side the stud (a small gold ball) somehow got pushed in while I slept on that side - the ball basically disappeared into it, it really really hurt and wasn't pleasant trying to fix it!

BTW when it came to taking them out for the first time, I was a bit worried too, and my mum took me back to the chemist and they changed them for me.

Remotecontrolduck Sun 11-Nov-12 16:05:21

I don't care what age earrings are done at as long as the child is able to consent (so 7ish upwards), but they must follow rules. And that means taking them out when told.

Have you got a small pair of pliers? The backs are really awful to get off for the first time, it could genuinely be quite painful (Not that that's an excuse)

jollymollie Sun 11-Nov-12 16:06:16

Dd1 had hers done and coped fine with it but Dd2 is another story. She won't let anyone near them so they will have to be forceably removed. Nothing else for it. Think I'll have to warn the neighbours!

Almostfifty Sun 11-Nov-12 16:07:23

Just tell her they're coming out and that's it till she's 18. She's no choice in the matter, they have to come out for PE.

Why anyone allows their child to have their ears pierced without checking it's ok with school first is beyond me.

valiumredhead Sun 11-Nov-12 16:07:38

Rub some teething gel on first to numb the ear?

jollymollie Sun 11-Nov-12 16:08:05

Pliers may be helpful. Thanks

BeeBawBabbity Sun 11-Nov-12 16:09:19

Is there a reason why the school won't allow plasters over them? Our school has a plasters over studs policy but tbh mine always forget and they do pe anyway. Perhaps if you spoke to the teacher and explained the situation they'd let her wear plasters for a bit until she's ready to change them?

It's not very helpful to criticise the op for having them pierced, it's done now. And I find the thought of pinning down a terrified child for something that's not of critical importance a bit disturbing.

valiumredhead Sun 11-Nov-12 16:11:16

At our school you are sent home if you have earrings - they are VERY strict.

jollymollie Sun 11-Nov-12 16:12:55

Thank goodness someone else finds pinning down distasteful. I was pinned down to take medicine when younger and remember how awful it was to this day. School wont relent on plasters. I asked last week!

CuriosityCola Sun 11-Nov-12 16:14:58

Have you tried cleaning them with cotton wool buds and saline solution. Will help with any stickiness caused by scabbing/blood.

My friends got her dd's earrings out by giving her calpol for the 'pain'wink. Then removing them.

I had my ears done when I was five and they went septic. I can clearly remember running about the house screaming before my mum and auntie pinned me down and removed them. It's not the way to do it sad

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