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On becoming Mary Poppins... Toddler and newborn support thread #2

(883 Posts)
ThePinkNinja Thu 08-Nov-12 09:38:53

A place to continue the complaining conversation about the hair pulling days and sleepless nights fun and frolics of life with a toddler and newborn

crazypaving Fri 21-Dec-12 16:02:42

sherry? With a gin chaser? grin

debbie1412 Fri 21-Dec-12 17:16:03

G&T it's been 11 months since I've had one of those. Might have to pump and dump Christmas Day !

debbie1412 Fri 21-Dec-12 18:57:42

I'm having horrendous guilt today , while I've got dp home I'm going to take ds1 swimming a few times. I feel so silly but I feel like I'm missing him even tho he's around me. Anyone get those feelings???

crazypaving Fri 21-Dec-12 19:13:52

debbie yes, exactly that. Horrible isn't it sad

EMS23 Fri 21-Dec-12 19:40:29

chezzie it's not just you. Becoming a mum first time round hit me like a ton of bricks. It was not what I thought it would be and I am not the mum I imagined I was destined to be.

Having a second baby scared me witless because I think I'm so crap as it is!

Pre kids, I used to hate silence, crave company and was always out, rushing from one place to the next, partying hard and never sleeping much.

Now? Now all I want is silence, stillness and the chance to sit in one place for quite some time. I dream about that, constantly.

EMS23 Fri 21-Dec-12 19:44:27

debbie yes, I feel tearful every night when DD1 trots off to her bed hand in hand with DH, while I'm holding DD2.

Until 14 weeks ago I cuddled DD1 during In The Night Garden. I put her jamas on and tickled her tummy. I took her to her bed and kissed her good night with a little cuddle. I miss her terribly even though she's right next to me and yet spend a lot of my days wishing she was at nursery because she's such hard work at the moment.

Margie32 Fri 21-Dec-12 20:20:30

I'm back - after a brief message at the beginning - and I'd love to join you all on the quest to recover my sanity...

DS1 is 23 months and DS2 is 8 days old. DS1 has spent the last 8 days veering from crying, cuddling mess to tantruming, petulant shouter, with no warning when he's going to change from one to the other. DS2 is pretty much permanently attached to my boob - I'd forgotten how long they take to eat at the beginning, and I feel like I'm permanently pinned to the sofa.

Debbie I know exactly how you feel about missing your DS1 even though he's right there, I feel like I've handed over total responsibility of DS1 to DH and it makes me so sad sad. And yet DS1 finished nursery today and I'm slightly dreading these next few weeks and how I'm going to cope with both of them at home.

I don't remember who it was who recommended imagining ourselves next Xmas tucking into mulled wine with abandon, but it's a mental image I'm hanging

debbie1412 Sat 22-Dec-12 09:05:22

Taking kids on a Santa Claus train ride this morning, #pissingitdown

debbie1412 Sat 22-Dec-12 09:06:02

Good morning by the way

crazypaving Sat 22-Dec-12 12:17:27

Debbie you're a brave lady!!

PamieRT Sat 22-Dec-12 13:23:00

Debbie - I feel exactly the same way. I don't feel like I'm interacting much with ds1 beyond just trying to cope and "control". And yes, the few times I'm able to ship him off to grandma's for the day, I feel both relieved and guilty. It just never ends.

Yesterday, I had the worst luck. While hanging with ds1 before bedtime, in his utterly lovable enthusiasm, he gave me an extremely painful punch to my right breast while tying to give me a giant bear hug.

The full weight of a 10.5kg toddler on a full breast is no joke. It was so painful tears just involuntary fell. Within an hour, my right breast swelled up and I developed body aches, chills and a massive headache, not to mebtion the sharp stabbing pain in my breast. A quick search on the Internet, and I found out I've probably developed mastitis from trauma to the breast. sad

That was 24 hours ago and all the symptoms are still there. Been taking pain killers which just help for a couple of hours. An alone at home with ds1 and ds2 who seems to be going thru a growth spurt - fussy and constantly feeding.

Please tell me everything will get better soon.

debbie1412 Sat 22-Dec-12 14:13:45

Pamie, you'll need anti biotics it's doesn't clear on its own very often. The longer you leave it the worse it gets. Docs should find you and emergency appt today. Hope you feel better soon x

debbie1412 Sun 23-Dec-12 09:38:50

All I want is to do is clean my house !!!

crazypaving Sun 23-Dec-12 19:46:18

All I want to do is sleep for 24hrs straight!

Happy Christmas everyone smile

debbie1412 Sun 23-Dec-12 23:03:56

It takes so long to settle my 7 week old tonight it's taken 3 hours and I'm still not sure the coast is clear. Def starting some sort of routine after Christmas it's driving me nuts !

Mylittlepuds Thu 27-Dec-12 23:46:29

Oh Jesus - i'm going to need a support thread?! Shit. DS 19 months, 23 weeks pregnant. Got a newborn nappy out today and promptly freaked out looking at it.

crazypaving Fri 28-Dec-12 14:08:32

hi mylittlepuds...only if you actually find the time to get online grin

good luck with it!

ds2 at 12 weeks has finally started going down earlier - 8pm for the last 3 nights in a row! hoping this is a gradual shift to a permanent earlier bedtime rather than a random blip

we had a good Christmas if a bit frenetic, spent at bil's with his 3 kids aged 7-12. ds1 had an absolute whale of a time and I enjoyed being cooked for and tidied up after grin didn't get much sleep tho as all in one room. ds1 freaked out a bit at nap time too and was getting 45mins sleep rather than his usual epic 3hr naps, which led to seriously stroppy toddler...

hope everyone else has had some sort of relaxation!

debbie1412 Fri 28-Dec-12 19:51:39

Hello hello, we had lousy Christmas Day up with both of them alternately Christmas Eve night. Then lily 7 wks was so tired she wouldn't settle at all Xmas day. My son 2.3 had a great day tho, the was a tip. Much better Boxing Day and yest. Is it bad to say I'm looking forward to nxt Christmas without a new born??? Lol

inadreamworld Sat 29-Dec-12 22:01:47

Hi everyone - can I lurk on this thread for now as I will be asking you all for advice very soon?

We have a 20 month old DD and are expecting another little girl on Jan 9th so am around 38 weeks pregnant. DD is quite an easy child to look after, sleeps all night, happy nature, not many tantrums - however she has delayed walking (due to hypermobility) so is still crawling/knee walking around which will make things extra tiring with a new baby.

AngelDog Sat 29-Dec-12 23:54:03

Hello all.

We're struggling a bit still. DS2 is a fantastic sleeper (disclaimer - nothing I've done, as DS1 was awful). DS1 (3 next week) has been badly behaved recently. We have a number of ongoing health issues which are taking loads of my time, especially trying to get to grips with a special diet. WE have also run out of food in the freezer - aaargh.

Now DS1, DS2 and I have thrush in various forms. hmm

11 week old DS2 has digestive issues so soils nappies CONSTANTLY. We use cloth (couldn't afford that many dosposables!) and I do a machine load of nappies every day. Between feeding, changing and meal prep I don't have any time for fun with DS1. sad

eversomuch Sun 30-Dec-12 11:08:52

debbie I am also looking forward to next Xmas when things will, I hope, be so much easier without a newborn. This Christmas just passed in a blur, mostly.

angel I hope the thrush clears up soon.

I also really miss one-on-one time with DD. Luckily, she's adapted really well to having DS around, but our daily routine is still a challenge. When DH is around, he mostly looks after DD while I take care of the baby -- sort of feels like we're living parallel lives under the same roof sometimes. I miss him too.

We're only 8 weeks in, though, and I'm not expecting things to get significantly easier until the six-month mark ... but that means we're just about one-third of the way there, right?

Is everyone doing a 10 or 11pm "final" feed? DS usually takes at least an hour and a half to settle at night, but sometimes much longer. If he settles before 8pm, I usually wake him around 10:30 or 11 for another feed; but if he doesn't settle until well after 8, then I let him sleep until he wakes to feed on his own, usually around 2 or 3.

That said, even with the 11pm feed, he still wakes up around that time, which makes me wonder if I should bother with the evening feed. During the night he'll feed for up to an hour then sleep until 5 or 6. Can't always get him back down after that. And DD has started waking at 6 (this morning it was 5), so early, early mornings are really rough right now.

inadream Welcome and good luck!

WhoahThereCrazyHorse Sun 30-Dec-12 15:00:07

everso I thought I'd try a 'dream feed' last night at about 11 - it had no effect as ds (10 weeks) still woke up twice for feeds so I'm not going to bother doing that again! Usually he goes down at about 7.30 and then doesn't wake until 12ish then again at 3/4 which I can cope with, particularly as I go to bed at about 8!!! He's formula fed now so feeds are pretty quick and he's been settling down fairly well afterwards too so I can't complain really.

eversomuch Sun 30-Dec-12 19:03:54

whoathere dream feeds haven't been that successful here either; ds just won't feed wrll, but hopefully that will change. I keep reminding myself of all the things we had to try with dd - some bottles, for example, she wouldn't take one week but was fine with a week or 2 later. So I still start off trying a dream freed. perhaps it will work eventually.

I feed on demand and DS seems to take lots of small feeds. I think this is why he takes so long to settle. Feeds for 5-10 mins and falls asleep, then wakes 20-30 mins later to continue feeding. not sure how to resolve that. he's generally much sleepier than dd was.

EMS23 Sun 30-Dec-12 19:22:21

I'm definitely looking forward to one year from now. I'm so exhausted and this Christmas was a bit rubbish frankly.
I had an anxiety attack on Xmas day (not admitted that to anyone else)... I was trying to go out for some fresh air - sneaky rare cigarette - after the kids were in bed and I couldn't find the door keys. The more I looked the more I panicked and when I eventually got outside I stood there sobbing for about 20 minutes. God knows what my neighbours must've thought!! It was a culmination of a few days stress over various things plus lack of sleep.

Both girls sleep has been awful and DD2 has had a chest infection with cough which makes her throw up. She's dropped a centile so needs to keep feeds in really.
DD1 was CMP intolerant and on Nutramigen for her first year so I've just put DD2 on it today. I really hope it solves the myriad feeding problems we're having and helps her sleep better.

She's 15 weeks now and I go back to work in 12 weeks so I'm over halfway there. Not that I'm looking forward to work but I've got that point - 6mo - fixed in my head too as when life might even out a bit.

I hope everyone else had a good Xmas.

crazypaving Mon 31-Dec-12 11:43:43

having one of those days where I wonder why I had kids cos I'm so clearly not cut out to be a mum. dh back at work, nothing on as everyone else still on holiday and nobody to see. ds1 has watched tv virtually all morning and ds2 has just screamed incessantly. so much for magical 12 week mark. what the hell will we do all afternoon when ds1 gets up from his nap???

this sucks sad

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