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On becoming Mary Poppins... Toddler and newborn support thread #2

(883 Posts)
ThePinkNinja Thu 08-Nov-12 09:38:53

A place to continue the complaining conversation about the hair pulling days and sleepless nights fun and frolics of life with a toddler and newborn

debbie1412 Mon 01-Jul-13 14:10:08

We are going backwards with the sleep it's not unusual to be up 2-3 times in the 7-7. She was going better at 4 months, kids should come with a return label grin

Lifeiswhatyoubakeit Tue 02-Jul-13 19:28:55

Just popping in to moan (sorry) and check its not just me going dolally with two smalls (DS1 is nearly 3, DD2 is 5months).

I just feel so lonely when DH works late (again) and so useless when i seem never able fully meet DS or DDs needs sufficiently. I always seem to be doing a half job no matter what i try. And of course the sleep deprivation never helps. DD is nowhere near sleeping through (up 4/5 times in night, DS1 up twice with nightmares, ugh!).

Crazy- i am also eating too much at the minute. When I'm stressed lonely and tired it is automatic for me to open the fridge! My excus for not cutting right back right now is breastfeeding (don't want to compromise supply) but I feel lousy that I haven't got back into shape as quickly this time...

Debbie - dont feel guilty using grandparents to babysit when they visit. Before DD2 we did that all the time. Am grateful but also feel its in their interest to help my strengthen my marriage!

Lifeiswhatyoubakeit Tue 02-Jul-13 20:59:19

Bedtime was just hellish. Had both of them screaming their heads off, DS because I could only read one of three stories (and not give him the 100th hug he had asked for) and DD because she is teething/teaching me for calling her an angel baby in the early months.

Offcolour Wed 03-Jul-13 08:56:33

life I think 5 months is a really tough time, their sleep is all over the place and they're really trying. The toddlers play up when you're sleep deprived, they sense weakness or something! I found it a really difficult phase, but since ds turned 27 weeks life has been much easier and his sleep has improved. last few days.

Hold tight, hopefully it will improve at around 6 months, you're almost through the hell that is the first 6 months.

Lifeiswhatyoubakeit Wed 03-Jul-13 09:30:53

Thanks off, was just about to search for 5 month sleep regression after a night of no sleep and baby again screaming for no apparent reason all through breakfast. Ugh. Feel like a zombie today. Poor DS1 gets really upset when the baby screams like this. Roll on next month!

Badgerwife Wed 03-Jul-13 09:44:41

god I really shouldn't have started reading this thread! DH is going back to work tomorrow and I will be dealing with DD1 (23 months) and DD2 (2 weeks) on my own for the first time! I am dreading it, feel like I have no idea how I'm going to do things. In fact, I'm planning on doing nothing at all and see how it goes. I'm lucky that DD2 so far is not a crying baby but she'll be attached to me in a sling so I can go to the loo in peace.

Offcolour Wed 03-Jul-13 13:18:03

life look up wonder week 26. Around 4-6 months is a huge developmental spurt which makes them sleep badly and be really grouchy. We're just out of it thank the lord! It was a tough time!

crazypaving Wed 03-Jul-13 13:41:24

Badgerwife welcome! And good luck!

We're in a pretty good phase at the moment. Haven't been too shouty for about a week now - just thought I'd come on and document it as I'm usually only here to moan! It's all linked to sleep. DS2 slept through for 6 nights, and now is a bit more unpredictable but is generally only waking once a night which is totally doable. Still an early bird but that's survivable when you get a decent block of sleep.

Childminder finishes in 3.5 weeks, then just over a month til I go back to work. Yikes it's coming round fast. I totally haven't got my head around what to do about milk for DS2 in the daytimes (we've never tried a bottle), and how she's going to settle him for naps, and how he's going to cope with separation anxiety (he is a TOTAL Mummy's boy, it's going to be awful). Argh! And then I've actually got to go and do work, crap! I can't remember how! And oh dear I need some new clothes.

debbie1412 Wed 03-Jul-13 19:58:35

2 totally gorgeous kids sleeping and looking angelic, 1 horrific mother who has just spent their last 2 hours being grouchy and snappy. #theydidntasktobeborn #guilt

crazypaving Thu 04-Jul-13 16:14:13

the guilt's a killer isn't it sad remember you're doing your best, you're only human and they won't remember the bad days. and they're angels when they're sleeping - not so much when awake wink

debbie1412 Fri 05-Jul-13 07:02:13

Rise and shine mummies. There's a heatwave acoming !

Offcolour Fri 05-Jul-13 08:40:10

Ds2 had his first night in his own room, only woke up once!!

Am feeling really glad to have my room back, but sad - he's growing up and won't be a baby much longer.... And no more babies for me. Not sure whether to put a sad or woo hoo emoticon there!

debbie1412 Fri 05-Jul-13 21:20:23

Might fancy Andy Murray a tiny bit !

Lifeiswhatyoubakeit Sat 06-Jul-13 17:31:06

Ah yes watched a bit of that match last night waiting for DH to come home. He did so well to come back didn't he?

Thought I'd just post for all those feeling guilty about being shouty/ less than perfect mummies (me included) that there are good days. It's just that the metaphorical planets have to align.

E.g. Woke up thurs feeling like a zombie again with no sleep but as DS was at nursery all day, managed to eventually coax DD to have a 2hour nap with me. Recharged! Preprepared dinner in am, so when DH came home early we all played happily in garden and DH did bath time with DS. As DD had magically fell asleep on boob, I leisurely read stories with DS. Perfect day. Not shouty at all. Back to normal now tho!

satsumagirl Sun 07-Jul-13 06:24:46

Offcolour- I'm a bit sad that dc2 is growing up so fast too. But after the last 7 months I am NEVER doing this again! I honestly don't think I could cope.

debbie1412 Mon 08-Jul-13 06:58:24

I don't know if we'l have a third yet. Lily's been fairly easy to deal with but it'll be a few years away if we do. I want dan in school and Lils in pre-school. Who knows !

crazypaving Mon 08-Jul-13 08:25:18

I've got an internal battle about this one too. financially it makes no sense to have a third. I really don't enjoy the baby stage much. I'm not sure my body can take another pregnancy - particularly my pelvis, which is pretty shot.

but I always wanted a big family, and I wonder if I'd regret not having a third. like Debbie I'd wait until ds2 was at preschool.

I dunno. I can't figure it out. in a way I'm worried that I'll get rose-tinted specs on and go for it when ds2 is about 3, and then the horror will come rushing back! what's worse? struggling with 3 or living with regret with 2 gorgeous boys? it's so hard! and I know I'm incredibly lucky to have this "problem".

Offcolour Mon 08-Jul-13 10:52:32

We're pretty definite it's no more for us. I hate pregnancy and find the baby stage so tough. Also, we'd need a bigger house, car etc. dd's birth was really traumatic and we just don't want to go through it all again. But obviously there are such magical moments with a baby/young children and I just feel sad because I know this stage will pass so fast- already I can see what he'll be like as a toddler. You look forward to them growing up but it makes me sad at the same time!!! I can see why people go nuts over their grandchildren grin.

crazypaving Tue 09-Jul-13 09:02:15

so far this morning ds1 has pushed ds2 over and hit him on the head, and tipped an entire bowl of cereal down my last clean outfit. all before 8am. I have shouted a lot. it's difficult to claw it back from such a bad start sad

Offcolour Tue 09-Jul-13 13:06:10

Oh dear crazy, hope it has improved! All quiet here, dd at nursery. Dh is going on an overnight jolly abroad for work for being one of the top performers on Thursday. I'm quietly jealous and pissed off about it.

debbie1412 Tue 09-Jul-13 22:01:15

Off my dp has a stag night in 3wks an I'm not jealous at all, not much ! Crazy we also had a shite day. My happy baby is turning into a frustrated teething baby who I can't seem to please. Fingers crossed for a better day tomoz x

crazypaving Wed 10-Jul-13 08:50:35

my dh is on a work jolly tonight. angry

I think when I stop bf I'm going to take myself for a night away somewhere. eat nice food, have a really ridiculously long bath and sleep for about 14 hours.

could happen.

Offcolour Wed 10-Jul-13 15:20:00

Dh pissed me off last night, he's going to Paris and said "do you want go to Paris? Book it then". I pointed out I can't leave a b-fed 7 month old who doesn't sleep through. He said "that's your decision". It isn't my fucking decision, it's my responsibility!!

Anyway, we've agreed I'm getting to go to a lovely spa one day when he's taking a week off to be at home, and I'm going to organise a boozy (childfree) lunch with friends. Still not a night in a top hotel in Paris though!! He has to be at at pancreas at 730 tomorrow morning so won't even get help with the morning stuff. I really should just suck it up because he's worked really hard and deserves it....

giddywithglee Wed 10-Jul-13 15:45:41

I can't believe I've only just found this thread! Have got 11 wk old and a 2.5 yr old and am at the end of my tether. Had a row with DH as he left the house this morning as DS1 has tonsillitis, I had to do the urgent dash to the GP yesterday in a blind panic because he had a temp of 40 and was screaming that his neck hurt, with DS2 strapped to my front because DS1 wouldn't walk and we don't have a double buggy. This morning couldn't get DS1 to take his antibiotics and DH was getting stroppy because I wanted him to help but he was going to work. He refused to even think about how I could get the antibiotics into him. This after being awake all night running between feverish 2 yr old and breastfeeding the little one. And to top it off we have a handyman in that I had to organise (DH cannot possibly organise anything house related as he works), so I can't even put the kids down in their beds because he is upstairs banging so have fractious baby refusing to sleep and 2 year old I can't get away from for 5 minutes. DH stropped off shouting about how he has to work to pay the bills. Shouted after him that I have sacrificed my career to raise our family.

Anyway, can I join your thread?!

Offcolour Wed 10-Jul-13 16:42:54

Ha ha welcome giddy.

I too have a dh who can't organise anything because he works. Except he pretends this isn't the case and will say "you don't have to do it, I will sort it out". Only he never ever does because he's too busy.

Also, he denies that my career is effectively over, now I just have a job. I can get a new career if I want at any time according to him.

Annoys the crap out of me. I know he's trying not to be negative, but sometimes things are negative for me and pretending there not is just irritating.

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