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On becoming Mary Poppins... Toddler and newborn support thread #2

(883 Posts)
ThePinkNinja Thu 08-Nov-12 09:38:53

A place to continue the complaining conversation about the hair pulling days and sleepless nights fun and frolics of life with a toddler and newborn

debbie1412 Sun 07-Apr-13 22:07:05

Hey beaut welcome. Hopefully not to much longer for you x
Stella I wouldn't feel to bad at controlled crying at 2 years if age. The upset is diff they know you are there and they also know how to pull on your heart strings. Also have you been watching that bedtime live?? You may get some support/tips from That.
I would def make a start on getting it sorted for everyone's sake x

Loopyhasanotherbean Mon 08-Apr-13 15:43:12

My ds1 is 29 months and when he moved into a bed, a gate went on his door. No way I wanted him going anywhere at night!

Beautifulredheads Mon 08-Apr-13 20:35:18

Well dd2 arrived last night. First bedtime for dd1 tonight with dd2 in tow, it did not go well! Any tips girls?

Offcolour Tue 09-Apr-13 07:12:51


My dh did dd's bedtime once ds was here tbh! Have you tried a sling? I think I had ds in a bouncy chair while I put dd to bed when I did bedtime o my own. Bath chairs are good for bathing them together.

Offcolour Tue 09-Apr-13 07:25:25

No tips really though, just lower standards and expect crying a chaos for a few weeks till it settles down!

Offcolour Tue 09-Apr-13 07:28:58

stella have you tried gradual retreat? It might work better if your dh isn't keen on controlled crying? Or I think there is a no cry sleep solution book for toddler which might have some ideas.

Beautifulredheads Tue 09-Apr-13 21:13:25

Thanks for the tips girls. Tonight was much better mainly because DD2 slept right through DD1's bedtime routine so DD1 settled with no fuss. Roll on tomorrow night we'll see what that brings....!

debbie1412 Tue 09-Apr-13 21:21:33

Congratulations beaut, I found it was hit and miss for 10 wks before dc2 showed signs of a pattern. Then I could re establish a routine at 5 months it can still go abit wobbly at dinner bath and bedtime. I'm using this year as a write off :-)

crazypaving Tue 16-Apr-13 11:56:58

hello all. I haven't been around lately as I'm not sure a 6m old counts as a newborn! hope everyone's ok?

things have been up and down here. definitely getting easier but the biggest problem is daytime naps for ds2. he will only sleep in the sling in a relatively quiet environment. brilliant with ds1 around hmm had a week where it was possible to put him down for his first nap (he's up at 5am every day so first nap at about 7.30, bit of a joke really), but now he just screams blue murder if I try to put him down.

it makes days difficult. I still can't play much with ds1 as I have to stand bouncing ds2 in the sling until ds1 makes a loud enough noise to wake him prematurely, which means ds2 ends up needing loads and loads of little naps and he just spends all day over-tired and crying, while ds1 watched tv or plays alone.

so yeah, easier but not much easier. actually kind of hating it at the moment and had enough. I still miss ds1.

debbie1412 Tue 16-Apr-13 21:23:26

Crazy take the bull by the horns and start getting him to nap in cot. You'll have a trying 3 days but it won't last more than that. And don't leave this thread or shall we start a new 1 ????dd 2 wks of 6 months x

Offcolour Wed 17-Apr-13 09:25:32

I agree, if you can get him napping in cot it makes life soooo much better. Could you try gradual retreat to get him used to the cot? Ds has been napping in the cot for a few weeks now and I can actually get stuff done and spend time with dd, it's a big improvement. If he's 6 months then it'll get harder and harder on your back to have him in the sling.

My ds is 18 weeks now so not a newborn either! Don't leave the thread - or start a new one like Debbie suggests?

crazypaving Thu 18-Apr-13 11:01:42

I know you're right but I can't get my head round it. atm he might nap for 30mins after an approx 45min battle to get him down, and wake up exhausted and grumpy, needing another nap immediately. doesn't seem worth it! especially as it's a nightmare trying to settle him with ds1 around. there's only so much cbeebies a 2yr old can watch.

sorry for being so moany, I'm having a properly awful week and am struggling to get my perspective.

Offcolour Thu 18-Apr-13 14:32:04

Hi crazy, I think if you did some form of sleep training so he would self settle he'd end up having longer naps, because he would self settle after the first sleep cycle (at around 45 mins). If he's self settling, you can just put him in his cot awake and walk away and do other stuff with ds, putting him down just takes a few minutes of your time. We're now at that stage with my 18 week ds (only got there recently) and life's much better.

It would obviously be a battle to get there, but a gradual retreat approach is quite gentle and worked for my dd at 7 months (she'd only bf to sleep or sleep in the buggy).

Could your dp take some time off while you do it or have you any family who could help with ds?

Loopyhasanotherbean Thu 18-Apr-13 20:46:56

My ds2 is now 7 1/2 months, quite happy to sleep in his cot day and night, but he will normally only sleep for 30 min naps in the day. If I let him sleep on me, he still only does 30 mins. If he sleeps in the car, he still often wakes at the 30 min mark, although not always. Ds1 was doing 2 hours naps at 5 months or earlier, and can do up to 3 hours now (29 1/2 months). We have done nothing differently with DS 2 to DS1.

crazypaving Fri 19-Apr-13 09:10:55

unfortunately no help available. tried again today and he slept for a grand total of 8 minutes. now screaming so I'm trying to get him to sleep in sling while ds1 trashes the living room. in the sling he'll sleep up to 2hrs.

Offcolour Fri 19-Apr-13 12:37:43

Ach that sounds rubbish crazy.
Tried going out today, class wasn't on, played in park and went to cafe with one of dd's friends, ds over tired and screaming now in bed and dd sitting on potty singing about poos. I'm at the stage where I don't want to go out because it screws up ds's naps and we all have a shit day, but can't stay in coz not fair on dd. if it was just me and ds we would just stay in all the time.

Offcolour Fri 19-Apr-13 12:42:39

We don't have any help either. I guess if I did I wouldn't need mumsnet smile

Askja Sat 20-Apr-13 20:48:22

Loopy if it's any comfort my dd1 only ever had 1/2 hour naps at that age but they gradually got longer and now at 23 mnths she'll sleep 2 hrs after lunch (most days anyway...)

debbie1412 Sun 21-Apr-13 20:54:20

Off totally understand the not wanting to go out because of naps. I threw myself into getting dd cot trained so I get some sleep now she struggles to sleep anywhere else to the point where I'm having lots of play dates at my house so she can sleep but the house gets trashed with 2/3 extra toddlers in it. I can't seem to win whatever I do right now x

debbie1412 Mon 22-Apr-13 12:24:42

Joined slimming world a wk ago have 2st to lose. 1st weigh In tonight. Wish me luck girls think I'm going to need it!

Offcolour Mon 22-Apr-13 15:05:42

Same here Debbie! So far have lost 5 lbs and can't seem to lose any more. Am eating very healthily so guess I need to reduce portion size. An feeling a lot better and skin is looking better from all the fruit and veg I'm scoffing though!

Good luck tonight :-)

Loopyaboutmy2boys Mon 22-Apr-13 16:26:56

Debbie are you breast feeding?

debbie1412 Mon 22-Apr-13 21:37:53

Hey I lost 4.5lbs woo hoo, I'm not breastfeeding I gave up at month ago! I'm celebrating with a biscuit :-)

crazypaving Tue 23-Apr-13 08:14:15

I've been doing ww since Jan - it's hard work eating carefully with 2 demanding children. all I want to do is stuff my face with chocolate when they both kick off! still got half a stone to go, and struggling a bit with my motivation atm.

morning nap is going better. you were all right and I've cracked down on the first nap of the day - if he goes down for that, my day goes so much better. trouble is, he wakes at 5 so needs his first map at about 7, when ds1 gets up. babies, eh? hmm

am determined not to end up in the black hole I was in last week. it was horrible.

thanks all for your help and support.

Offcolour Tue 23-Apr-13 15:12:31

Well done Debbie! I'm just trying to eat healthily, maybe I need to sign up to something to get any more weight off. Let me know how you get on.

Glad things are going better crazy. My ds has his first nap around when dd gets up, it is good in a way coz you get to have breakfast in (relative) peace. Ds objects to meal times as he's not involved and tends to really fuss so I'm always glad when he naps through a meal! It'll be easier when he's weaning and can sit at the table with us.

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