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On becoming Mary Poppins... Toddler and newborn support thread #2

(883 Posts)
ThePinkNinja Thu 08-Nov-12 09:38:53

A place to continue the complaining conversation about the hair pulling days and sleepless nights fun and frolics of life with a toddler and newborn

Moominsarescary Thu 21-Mar-13 12:22:33

Sorry everyone seems to be having a shit time!

Things arnt much better here, ds1 has a vom bug and even though I don't have to deal with it (he's 18) I just know everyone else will catch it.

Ds2 is full of cold, again he's not causing any upset himself as he's 10 but the babies are bound to get that too

Ds3 just 2 is pushing all the time, it was his birthday last week and I've already had to take away some of his toys as he's throwing things and I'm worried he will break them all. He's also screeching and smacking me alot.

The baby 7weeks is sleeping better at night but spends most of the day latched on and I think ds3 is misbehaving because he wants more attention.

Dp is working late and 7 day weeks at the mo so not much help there!

Offcolour Thu 21-Mar-13 13:34:00

Hats off to you guys dealing with 4! No idea how you do if. We've had a better day, ds ended up sleeping really well after all the fuss and seems back to normal today, maybe a growth spurt because he seemed ravenous all day. I really panic at any sign of sleep going backwards because dd developed her terrible, terrible sleeping after we all had a horrible stomach bug just before the four month sleep regression and it catapulted us into 2 months of hell. Ds much, much better sleeper so far but I get very anxious and angry when he plays up around sleep because of how dd was.

This week dd has been an angel though.

Hope life improves for all soon.

debbie1412 Thu 21-Mar-13 20:18:42

Today my auntie and uncle to visit. First time meeting lily. Daniel who has been trying to say the least this wk was absolutely horrific. They have 2 of their own children 37 and 35 so memories of early parenthood for them is many moons ago. I'm devasted he behaved so terrible, since dp has been home I've had to shut myself away from him
( I've shut myself away from him)
He's 2.6 how bad must I be to not want to be around my own son.
Devasted absolutely devasted !

jenbird Thu 21-Mar-13 23:06:26

Oh Debbie don't give yourself a hard time. It is such a tough stage and I know it has been said before but it will pass. I really know how you feel about your ds. I am there too and I totally hate myself. I feel like such a failure as a parent but underneath all the guilt I know I am not and I am sure you are too. We just have to get through this bit.

debbie1412 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:06:17

He's at nursery this morning. I'm not sorry this morning for how I felt yesterday. Had a restless night and have come to the conclusion it's ok to feel let down by him. He can be well behaved and just wasn't yest. Had a long chat with dp and going to start introducing naughty step, reward charts. We've prob been lax with him since dd arrived and he's had his own way a lot. He's gone into nursery crying this morning which he never does so maybe he's having some sort of development burst and hrs struggling with his emotions. God knows, working out a 2 year old is impossible x

Offcolour Fri 22-Mar-13 09:16:30

Don't feel bad Debbie, two year olds can be so infuriating. Sounds like a good plan to work out a strategy with dp and stick to it. And your aunt and uncle should understand, I'll never forget how tough these early years are! Enjoy having some peace this morning and start afresh this afternoon.

debbie1412 Mon 25-Mar-13 19:11:29

Hello ladies anyone watching The Walking Dead?? Tonight's supposed to be a good one x

NAR4 Tue 26-Mar-13 08:03:33

Baby (4 weeks) has become a very sickie and pooey baby and my DD (just turned 2) has taken to wetting herself several times a day. Struggling to keep up with all the washing. Stayed up late the last 3 nights to get all the washing cleaned and dried before the morning. One of my older DSs took a ridiculously full bowl of cereal up to his room (despite being asked not to) and spilt it on the way up the stairs. If that wasn't bad enough he then tripped on the way into his room and must have literally thrown the full bowl, as he fell. His entire room, including bed, chair, carpet, curtains and pile of washing (he still hasn't put away) were covered in the milk and cereal. DD got in our bed last night and wet herself in it, as well. Guess what I am doing all day today!

If it wouldn't be impossible to carry it all in (no parking outside) I would take it all to the laundrette and fill all the machines, just to get it done in one go and not take a few days of constant washing and drying to get through. sad

debbie1412 Thu 28-Mar-13 13:28:52

It's all very quiet ! We all ok??

eversomuch Thu 28-Mar-13 14:07:24

Hi! Haven't had time to stop by for ages. We seem to have hit the four-month sleep regression with DS (20 weeks tomorrow) and he's had me up much of the past few nights. The first hour or two isn't so bad, but then I start feeling so tired myself and my patience runs thin and I get pretty grumpy. He's lucky he is so darn beautiful. Fx this passes very soon.

He still doesn't take a dummy or a bottle -- tbh, I haven't even tried a bottle in weeks -- so I'm still feeling pretty confined in that I can't go out on my own for more than an hour or so and must stay close to home in case he wakes up and needs me. I really am looking fwd to regaining some independence once he's on solid foods, but I'm also reminding myself that he won't always be so small and needy. Before I know it, he will have better things to do than hang out with Mum, so I should just treasure the moment. Right?

Still feel like it's a challenge to get both kids out of the house much, and the miserable weather isn't helping. So can't wait for spring!

debbie1412 Fri 29-Mar-13 18:30:36

Someone tell me I'm not a horrendous mother for stopping breast feeding. Got the guilts but I don't want to do it anymore !

debbie1412 Fri 29-Mar-13 18:34:44

Ever.....think we are also hitting sleep regression. They are only tiny for such small amount of time. My ds is 2.6 and I wish I could have baby cuddles with him. It's hard when your knackerd tho. Dd is nearly 5 months and she will take a dummy but I'm stopping bf and she is refusing dummy making me feel rubbish.

Moominsarescary Sat 30-Mar-13 12:33:15

You are not a horrendous mother for stopping bf! And well done for getting to 5 months, I feel like giving up now at 8 weeks.

Offcolour Tue 02-Apr-13 16:41:23

Don't be daft Debbie! Of course you're not a horrendous mother!

We're quite good, been away at in-laws. Was nice to get a big of a break but was a big stressful as they kept taking ds away and trying to cheer him up when he was crying (even though I told them he was tired/hungry) so I just got handed back a really upset baby to soothe 15 mins later. And I kept being told I'm too soft, because I wouldn't leave ds with them (he's 15 weeks, ebf, with a cold, mid growth spurt so I had no spare milk to express). Snarky comments from step-mil that "there is nothing you would do differently" when I asked her how ds was. Sigh.

Today has been nice, dd at nursery, sun shining, ds has been self settling for naps. Will have two tomorrow so we'll see how that goes!

Hope everyone's having a nice day and you have sunshine with you as well.

debbie1412 Tue 02-Apr-13 22:21:51

Off......omg I totally no what that's like. Dp has a sister who we see every 4-6 months she's 28 and single and beyond broody. When she sees our dc I always say give the half hour to be around you before you pick them up. She waits until I go make coffee, toilet etc launches herself at them they howl. She then removes them off to a quiet room hell bent on being Mother Earth and they will like her eventually, where I chase after her to wrestle them back . Why oh why do people behave that way ??

Offcolour Wed 03-Apr-13 08:24:33

It's sooooo annoying, can hear ds crying in their bedroom and them coo-cooing at him, by the time he's back to me he's overtired and a nightmare to get down. And I tell them he's tired before they take him!!

Am super tired today, ds was up every 2 hours, he's full of the cold. Double strength coffee to start the day!

Offcolour Wed 03-Apr-13 17:30:07

Today has been super shit! Ds has screamed all afternoon. Been screaming in his cot for 30 mins while I feed dd. feel like shit parent doing unintentional cry it out on 16 week baby, but have tried everything, fed, mobile, stayed with him, but dd kept playing up, tantruming and she needs to be fed as well and ds is shattered and needs to sleep. Where is the boy that happily self settled yesterday???? Just want to walk out and not come back, so tired. He's still fucking going. Dreading tonight if he's going to be like this.

Moominsarescary Wed 03-Apr-13 18:07:38

off it's crap isn't it, I had to leave the baby crying to sort out ds2&3s dinner. Took a walk down to baby clinic this morning rather than get the bus as ds3 had been tantruming all morning.

An hour walk then couldn't get a bus back as none of them could take the double because they already had a pushchair on. Could have cried

Offcolour Wed 03-Apr-13 18:25:31

That's crap moomins! When I lived in London it made me so miserable when the buses wouldn't let you on. Yeah, I felt like a horrid cruel mother, ds cried for half an hour, but I was at the end of my tether and didn't know what else to do, I'd ignored dd most of the afternoon trying to sort him out already. I don't know how you do it with so many kids, I feel continually guilty that I can't meet anyone's needs and I only have two.

Moominsarescary Wed 03-Apr-13 18:40:31

The older 2 are 18 and 10 so luckily don't need the same amount of attention, just feeding occasionally grin 8 years between each of the first 3 so they were happy to help out or wait a while for things (and at school) so I've never experienced this before.

I do feel really shit though that ds3&4 arnt getting the individual attention I was able to give ds1&2

Moominsarescary Wed 03-Apr-13 18:41:20

The older 2 are 18 and 10 so luckily don't need the same amount of attention, just feeding occasionally grin 8 years between each of the first 3 so they were happy to help out or wait a while for things (and at school) so I've never experienced this before.

I do feel really shit though that ds3&4 arnt getting the individual attention I was able to give ds1&2

Offcolour Wed 03-Apr-13 18:46:14

I guess the upside for them is having a sibling close in age to play with. But I do feel rubbish letting ds cry, I'd never have fine that with dd! But no doubt that's why he is a much better sleeper, he doesn't get fussed over anything like as much poor fellow.

debbie1412 Sat 06-Apr-13 20:24:16

We are out of the Moses and into the cot, lily is back to looking tiny again! Where the feck did that 5 months go??

Beautifulredheads Sat 06-Apr-13 22:20:07

Is it too late to join in ladies?! I have dd1 18 months and am currently 4 days overdue with dd2....!

stella10 Sun 07-Apr-13 21:32:44

Hi all hope your all surviving and enjoying where u can! I've been on this thread before but I'm bak now lookin for some advice0smile dd is two and a bit and ds is four months now and everything is getting much easier she is jumping on him less and he looks slightly less breakable so I'm relaxing a bit more and yes we're getting by!! My main problem area now is sleeping and going to bed at night. Dd stil needs someone to stay with her and then obviously each time she wakes and finds she's on her own she'll come looking for us and this can be several times a nite:-( I've told dp we need to sort this out but he's so soft he stays with her and the problem just goes on but as he's been dealing with her I've let it go but I'm starting to be on edge now as he's getting cross with her at times when he's tiered. I cant see him sticking to it so maybe I'll have to just take over her bedtime for a week and do cc til she gets it do you think? Also she is in a bed so likely to spend a lot of time running out hystericaly unless we either put her bak in a cot(but I worry she wil jump out and hurt herself.... Or put stair gate on her door? What do you all think? I feel we owe it to her to teach her to self settle as this way seems to cause more upset?

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