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I pushed my poor little DD. Hate myself.

(3 Posts)
aprilrain Thu 08-Nov-12 00:03:40

She is 4 and in Reception. She was difficult and argumentative with me all evening. She lied to me, shouted at me, refused to listen to me etc. I was on edge too for some reason. Anyway, we clashed badly, which is out of character for us because we actually get on very well most of the time. I handled her behaviour very badly I think.

So at bedtime I was putting DD2 (6months), who was already asleep, in her cot. DD1 wouldn't leave DD2 alone - kept trying to kiss her and poking her hand into the cot to ruffle DD2's hair, ignoring my repeated requests to leave her alone. DD2 began to stir and DD1 looked at me with a glint in her eye and said "DD2's waking up mummy, it wasn't me." She still refused to move away from the cot - it was one of those "move" "no" "move" "no" "move" "no" situations.

I'm afraid I lost the plot here, I pushed her away from the cot by her shoulder then dragged her out of the room and I know I did it far too roughly, too angrily. She wasnt physically hurt by it but full meltdown ensued, and she had to be forcibly carried by DH (but not roughly) to her own room.

We had such a shitty evening and I feel like a shitty parent.

sad

notnagging Thu 08-Nov-12 00:11:08

The fact that you know it wasn't right shows that you are not a bad parent. Everyone has off days and like you said she wasn't hurt. Talk to her in the morning about what happened and why. Both your feelings are really important.
You also have to show her that you are in charge and that there are consequences for her behaviour. What did you say/do when she was shouting at you?

diddlediddledumpling Thu 08-Nov-12 00:14:23

Well you're not. You're probably exhausted, stressed and she's pushing your buttons. I've done the same to ds1 &2, maybe twice in their lives (6&4). I wouldn't describe it as violent, not even aggressive really. Just a bit rougher than I should be. It will not leave a lasting impression, imo, when in 99.999% of our interactions i'm patient and gentle.
She's trying to take your attention away from the baby, because her world has changed massively in the last 6 months. But you know that, because you're a thoughtful and decent mother. Otherwise you wouldn't be posting about this.
Fwiw, I'd explain to her tomorrow morning why it happened. You both apologise, have a hug, it's over.

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