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Taunting in the playground - when do I wade in?

(5 Posts)
kerala Mon 05-Nov-12 14:17:23

DD is 6. She is happy at school, "all the girls love her" according to her teacher, she has a couple of best friends and plays with most of the girls and is flying academically.

However she has inherited DH's hair, basically afro type hair, although we are Caucasian. Over the last few weeks she has insisted on scrunching her hair into a bun when I tried to persuade her to wear it down she started crying quietly and said a group of boys shout at her and say her hair is "horrid" and "rubbish". We talked about it and I mentioned it to the teacher at parents evening who said she will keep an eye.

Anyway its still going on so I have written a note to the teacher naming names as I feel consistent taunting unprovoked from a group of children you dont play with is verging on bullying. I havent used the b word and dont want to be an overprotective / over involved parent but am fed up of my lovely girl being got at when I know she wouldnt do the same to anyone else.

Also these boys are the sons of my friends and shamefully I am looking at them differently - they seem such nice people but where are their boys learning such vile behaviour?

What would you do - should I leave DD to fight own battles or keep pressing it eventually going to see the head? She is my PFB can you tell grin

QTPie Mon 05-Nov-12 14:55:22

The boys are sons of your friends? Maybe discreetly have a word with your friends? If my DS was doing something like that, I would want to know (and from my friend, not from the head) and I would tackle it carefully. A good, responsible parent should be able to strongly influence behaviour at that age.

Also you are right to want to work on DD's ability to cope with it too and build her self esteem (I had glasses from 2 years old - I know how horrid kids can be...): she will come across nastiness/bullying, for all sorts of trivial reasons, over the years. Quite honestly, the best way to handle bullies is to ignore them and not take it to heart (difficult I know): once they think that they are getting a reaction to their behaviour, they will built on it (if they get no reaction, they will very quickly get bored and move on to something else...).

Good luck.

KatyS36 Mon 05-Nov-12 16:36:17


To me that is bullying and I would raise with the school as such.

Hope this helps


VBisme Mon 05-Nov-12 16:47:21

I'd talk to the parents if they're your friends, if it's any help this happened in my group of friends.
A couple of girls were mean to another one because she had thick eyebrows, (actually she had lovely strong eyebrows, but they weren't fashionable).
Her mum called the girls parents and they were roundly told off, they apologised and it didn't affect the friendship long term, the mums of the girls doing the bullying were rightly mortified and it stopped immediately.

kerala Mon 05-Nov-12 16:55:47

Thanks for your responses. The lovely teacher roundly bollocked the boys today and they were made to apologise to DD. Hoping this is the end of it - if not next step is me talking to parents and head but fingers crossed the teacher has nipped it in the bud.

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