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Should we persevere with this?

(6 Posts)
mumwholovesshoes Sun 04-Nov-12 21:42:34

DD, age 22 months, started attending creche at our gym about 3months ago. I work 3 days a week, during which time she is either looked after by DH (depending on his own work shifts) or MIL. We attend various toddler groups, "rhyme-time" etc, which she loves, but this creche is the only setting in which she is not accompanied by a parent/grandma.

Initially she loved it and went running in happily each time I dropped her off. However about 6 weeks in, I found her crying when I picked her up, apparently she had become upset when the older (over 2's) children went off to do craft and she was left in the baby room with younger children. After that she didn't attend for 2 weeks as we went on holiday, and since our return (about 4 or 5 weeks), she hates it! When I pack her little backpack she gets upset and starts saying "no, no", and becomes hysterical when I drop her off. If I leave, she is generally fine within 5 minutes (I have been back to check on her!) but the nursery nurses tell me she is still a little tearful at times during the hour she is there.

Anyway-my question is this-would you persevere with this right now? I really worry that DD will struggle socially as almost all her peers already attend nursery or childminder- what if she is failing to develop the ability to socialise independent of me/DH/MIL? I worry that if we don't carry on with encouraging her to go to creche now, she will find playgroup/nursery harder when we try to leave her again in a few months/year. But I feel AWFUL leaving her sobbing when it isn't necessary, should we just abandon this and try again when she's older? Or will it be worse then? I'm driving myself mad trying to decide what to do!!

ImperialFireworksInMyKnickers Sun 04-Nov-12 21:47:07

She's quite old enough to recognise the cues of what's about to happen, and she's taking a scunner at the place after the one upset. maybe start her with a different nursery for a couple of hours a week, and get a new little back pack?

shoesontheglasslamp Sun 04-Nov-12 21:50:43

IMHO, and it can only ever be that:

If you have to leave her, then you have to leave her, and she, and you, have to find a way of coping with it.

If you don't have to leave her, don't. She's telling you she's not secure with it yet. You don't know how she'll be when she's older, and I really don't believe that she will struggle in comparison to nursery or CM attending peers.

It might be that she is not at the crèche often enough/for long enough for it to feel familiar, so each time feels like the first time. Or it might be that she just finds it unsettling.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Rhubarbgarden Sun 04-Nov-12 22:56:11

I think I'd stop going, and then try again with somewhere new in a couple of months time. She'll probably be as different again - two months is a long time at that age and they change hugely.

ZuleikaD Mon 05-Nov-12 12:12:55

Really don't worry about her not developing social skills - she's too young and she's letting you know that she's not ready to be left yet. I would listen to her and don't leave her with strangers unless you have to.

mumwholovesshoes Mon 05-Nov-12 19:43:45

Thanks everyone. Thats really good advice- think we'll give it a miss for a few months and try somewhere else when she's a bit older. Thanks for reassuring me I am not being silly and precious!

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