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Please help me get a bit of perspective

(7 Posts)
pinhill24 Tue 30-Oct-12 18:07:41

To give a bit of background I have just stopped working and am now a sahm. My dh is a teacher and he works full time. It is currently half term so I have the dc's (2 and 4) at home as well as dh. Dh has to work a little in the hols as he is a teacher, which is fine. However he keeps telling me he is nearly done and then asking me to take the children out for another hr or so here and there. I don't mind doing this but when he is not working he is playing on his phone or just generally hanging around doing nothing! It feels as tho he has hardly helped at all around the house and hardly helped at all with looking after the kids, telling them they need to learn to play on their own etc.
Basically what I'm asking is am I wrong to expect a little help even tho he is on holiday and how can I get a bit of perspective on the situation so I don't keep winding myself up about it!
Wow sorry for long post but could do with some advice!

cathpip Tue 30-Oct-12 18:21:49

You do work, 247 its called being a mum the holiday entitlement is crap and the wages are shit!! Do you ever get a couple of hours to play on your phone or generally hang around during the day? i doubt it..... Your dh (like mine) needs a swift foot up the arse, take a day off and go shopping etc and remind him how much it would cost him to find someone who does what you do!smile

NotGoodNotBad Tue 30-Oct-12 18:27:10

He's in a dream world if he thinks a 2 and 4 year old should be learning to play on their own while he plays on his phone!

Tell him you're having a holiday, go out for the day and see how he gets on...

BTW why is he telling you what to do (i.e. take the kids out)?

2kidsintow Tue 30-Oct-12 18:27:42

Blimey. I work as a teacher and I'm on half term. My OH works too so when it is not school time, it is time for me to spend with my children. Any work I have that I have to bring home is done when they are happy and busy (they are at an age when they can occupy themselves for an hour or two at a time) or when they are in bed. Unless it was report writing time and I needed to really concentrate on what to write, I would never dream of asking my OH to take the kids away so I could get on with fact not even then.

pinhill24 Tue 30-Oct-12 20:54:00

Thank you for the support, I often think that I'm in the wrong and am expecting too much from him but I desperately want to co-parent and not parent with help when he feels like it. I just feel guilty taking some time out and he often says its not fair because he doesn't then get to see me and the kids at the same time and he likes to do everything 'as a family' which I do love but often makes life a tad frustrating (buying a new car with 2 excitable boys in tow anyone?!)

Sulfur Tue 30-Oct-12 20:56:51

You need to tell him not to play computer games when he should be helping out with the children.

My DH is the same and he has to be told, which isn't a problem - he comes around.

cansu Wed 31-Oct-12 10:46:48

I don't Think you should have to be taking the children out so he can work. He can go in another room if he needs to concentrate that much. I am also a teacher but accept that my work has to fit in round the kids in the holidays. He should also be wiling to help out with the children. As your dc are not yet at school I see no reason why he shouldn't take care of them alone whilst you grout o casionally. However you will probably have to get tough with him to achieve this.

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