Yet another horrendous morning getting dcs ready for school. (I don't want to go into why, or advice on how to prevent it...)
Dd(8) spent over an hour on the step, for shouting and screaming. She only had to be quiet and do her 8 mins, but continued shouting and screaming the whole time. She had to get dressed on the step and had a drink on the step (after she was shouting at me that she was "dehydrating"!). Finally she apologised and went into school very contrite.
It's the end of this half term today, so we were going to go out for a hot chocolate after school. Just as we were going into school, she asked if we were still going, and I looked at her incredulously and said of course we aren't, after that behaviour. At which point ds(5) started crying and said (quite rightly) that it wasn't fair and that he hadn't done anything wrong, which is perfectly true, he got ready nicely today.
So... do I forgive and forget and take then both? Do none of us go? Do we go but dd has to sit there with nothing (I have done this before btw, and the cafe lady was aghast...).
I would not go, but I would buy something special/do something special with DS, can you buy a nice new mug and make some marshmallowy hot choc for him at home (the meltdowns can happen at home and judgy servers need not be involved).
I would have only withdrawn the treat if I had told her during the tantrum that it would be a consequence. Otherwise, to my mind, it's just carrying on bad feelings and "getting your own back" once the deed is done.
However, now you've said it so you have to stick to your word. I would say the treat is off for both which is a shame for your DS it's done now.