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How long did it take your DC(s) to adjust to a new sibling?

(8 Posts)
AngelDog Wed 24-Oct-12 19:17:40

By 'adjust', I mean get over the worst of sleep disturbances, tantrums etc.

It's early days here - DS2 is 10 days old.

DS1 is 2.9 y.o. He's been awake for long spells in the night (usually 1.5 hours) every night bar two since DS2 was born.

We have also had lots of tantrums, food refusal and extreme fussy eating (rather than pretty fussy eating).

He is shattered and fraught, and I am shattered and fraught. The only real positive is that he adores DS2.

Can anyone give me cheering anecdotes about this passing soon, or should I be preparing for another 6 months + of it?

Kittycatcat Wed 24-Oct-12 20:26:01

Hi and congrats. My ds1 is 17 months and ds2 is 5 weeks. Ds1 adores his brother and is mostly good with him. I think he got overwhelmed with all the visitors. Once everything settled down so did he. I ignore his tantrums and he gets over them quickly. He has just become fussy with food and isn't napping or sleeping great but he's teething. Hope it all settles for you soon.

StrawberrytallCAKE Wed 24-Oct-12 20:28:16

Very interested in this thread, watching and learning.....

IsawtheGruffalo Wed 24-Oct-12 20:40:04

I feel for you OP. I was always told that between 18 months to 3 years was a hard time to introduce siblings in to the family as the 1st DC is very emotional and very out of control with their emotions!
I had DD2 when DD1 was 16 months, other than the occasional episodes of I want mummy cuddles if baby is getting mummy cuddles, we had no problems settling them in together.
When DD3 came along, DD1 was nearly 5 and DD2 was 3 1/2. DD2 did get a little put out but I just made sure that I gave her special 'just me and mummy' time and it passed very quickly.
It doesn't last, he will get past this stage especially when DS2 begins to interact with him - smiles etc. If he knows that he gets special mummy time once baby has gone to sleep he will feel very important. xx

ponytails Wed 24-Oct-12 20:40:56

my DS1 is 2.4yrs and DS2 5months. DS1 wanted to be involved for the first month or so but soon lost interest and now kind of ignores DS2. DS1 did drop his nap shortly after DS2 was born which has not helped with the moods and tantrums but he sleeps fine all night

IWillOnlyEatBeans Wed 24-Oct-12 21:05:43

No advice, but I am watching with interest (and fear wink) as our DS1s sound so similar (DS will be 2.10 when DS2 arrives).

Huge congratulations on the arrival of your DS2 though. I hope everything went smoothly and that your DS settles down soon.

Not sure if this is helpful, but I read somewhere that when parents have a second baby, we sort of know what to expect as we have been-there-and-done-that before. However, for your DS this is totally unknown territory - so his response is going to be much closer to the response of first time parents (panic, disbelief, confusion... smile ) - which I know took me a while to process and deal with!

Thinking of you smile

IA71 Wed 24-Oct-12 21:38:50

I have a 2 and a half year old and a 7 month old. I would say it took about 3 months for DS1 to settle down and accept DS2 was here to stay. DS1 was a complete angel before DS2 was born though but I don't think he will return to being that angel in the near future. The sleep pattern changing came as a complete surprise to me. He was sleeping until 6.30 and is now waking up at 5.30 and sometimes wakes up during the night. He slept through before.

AngelDog Wed 24-Oct-12 23:02:14

Thanks, everyone - I feel slightly reassured.

Apart from not sleeping that well, separation anxiety and being a fussy eater, DS1 has been a really easy toddler so I'm just not used to having to deal with this sort of thing.

It doesn't help that our sleeping arrangrements have had to change - DS1 is now co-sleeping with DH in the spare room instead of with me. That is a big deal (though he doesn't seem to mind that DS2 is with me). The plan was to co-sleep with both, but havong even a night light on to see to sort out DS2 was enough to disturb DS1 when he stirred between sleep cycles.

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