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Toddler gone mad JUST in time for new baby- gah!

(14 Posts)
ShushBaby Mon 22-Oct-12 13:30:50

Dd (2.9) has generally been an easy-going sort: few tantrums, good sleep, etc etc. I have She has even been enjoying a 2 hr nap every day for the past several months, having been a catnapper since birth.

Now I'm 37 weeks pregnant and recently she has suddenly become....very challenging. Classic 'terrible twos' stuff I suppose (tantrums, not cooperating, whining) but with an added dose of night waking (wanting tucking in/her teddy removing/a cuddle etc several times a night) early rising, and refusing to nap despite her eyes rolling back in her head with tiredness by 1pm.

I'm absolutely knackered, worried about what is going on with her, and terrified of how we'll cope with this when the baby comes. We are trying lots of positive affirmation when she is good and she seems to respond well. But she is so tired and cranky after not napping that the day often ends in meltdown and the nights are not fun. On the plus side she goes to sleep very nicely!

I knew that kids could go a bit mad when a sibling arrives- but before? Is that A Thing? She definitely understands that a baby is coming etc etc, and talks about it a lot. She's also done a bit of classic pretending-to-be-a-baby. I wonder if the behaviour is related to the new baby. But more importantly, what can we do? Especially about the sleep issues. Crying it out not an option at this age when they can get out of bed! (To be fair she's only done that once, she generally just lies in bed yelling until we come).


SlightlySuperiorPeasant Mon 22-Oct-12 13:33:47

Snap! I'm 40+2 with DC2 and 2.9yo DS has been wild for the past month, playing up, not sleeping properly, not napping... I've put it down to the new baby vibes and just tried to keep things consistent for him while reinforcing good standards of behaviour. He has settled down slightly in the last few days and is sleeping through the night again, thank goodness.

ShushBaby Mon 22-Oct-12 13:38:49

Oh good! So it's a small blessing you've gone overdue then eh? Gave him tmr to sort himself out a bit. The way things are now, I am willing the baby to stay in until dd (hopefully) calms down. Good to know that others have experienced the same and that there is hope, possibly!

She has just dropped off for a nap after chatting for a good 30 mins (with the promise of a sweetie if she has a proper nap blush) so that is something. I am just really feeling The Fear with this current behaviour, and also feeling sorry for the poor little mite, as though we're turning her world upside down... pfb face...

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Mon 22-Oct-12 13:40:40

On the plus side, he has been extra-snuggly so I've been enjoying lots of cuddles. The other day he fell fast asleep on my lap, awwww.

We'll see how he does when the baby decides to arrive...

rhetorician Mon 22-Oct-12 13:41:49

yes, DD1 was a pain in the arse for about 2 months before dd2 was born and for ages after it's not surprising - everyone keeps talking about when the baby arrives, but they have absolutely no idea what this actually means so they test boundaries like mad. It's an unfortunate side-effect to say the least.

QTPie Mon 22-Oct-12 13:43:06


DS is 2 years 9 months this week. He s still sleeping well at night (touch wood!), but naps are hit and miss and he has become incredibly challenging (as you describe - after being a very easy going toddler). So I feel for you sad

Not pregnant, but at the other end - hope to start fertility treatment in a month. Just been diagnosed with endometriosis and would explain why I am soooooo tired this time of the month (really doesn't help handle the challenging behaviour and DH is doing a very good impression of a chocolate teapot!)

I think/hope it is a development phase...

ShushBaby Mon 22-Oct-12 13:48:42

That's just it- it's so hard to untangle what is baby-related and what is just bog standard toddler behaviour... And yes being knackered doesn't help.

I'm getting loads of cuddles too, which is a new thing (she's never been mummy-centric). So I am trying to lavish her with love as she is clearly feeling a bit clingy and insecure.

Oh and she's started snatching/not sharing whilst at childcare too. Just all the toddler classics, basically!

MumofWombat Mon 22-Oct-12 14:14:12

I could have written this except DS is 18 months and I am only 16 weeks pregnant (but not having an easy time with it, I'm on bed/sofa rest this week). He is driving me crackers. He was a great sleeper but the last week has been shocking (ie awake between 1-5 last night but then only slept until 6.30!) and because he's overtired the tantrums are something else.
We cried it out tonight as I couldn't face another not falling asleep until midnight like on Friday night....
I don't know how I'll cope with a new baby and this new high maintenance toddler that looks just like my easy going, laid back, good sleeper, funny little boy that used to live here!

QTPie Mon 22-Oct-12 15:14:18

Snatching and not sharing is so "this age" too...

Doesn't hasn't really do this, but his two closest NCT pals (so same age) are! Both have younger siblings - so at used to "fighting go thir rights". DS doesn't have a younger sibling, by quickly picks up on behaviour from his peers. So I see it come this way.

You have a great toddler, think that you have escaped the "Terrible Twos" (at almost three), then... I guess that we have to grit teeth and get through to the other side (remembering that are lovely child is still there somewhere...).

ShushBaby Mon 22-Oct-12 18:04:16

Thanks all. I must say, she's been a delight this afternoon. Decided to take some time just to play with her, and we basically lived in her imaginary world all afternoon. And just as I have typed this she has said to me 'mummy, you are the best mummy ever! You're the mostest darling in the world'. And then thrown a bit of cauliflower at me.

Two is certainly a roller coaster!

Mankychester Mon 22-Oct-12 18:36:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShushBaby Mon 22-Oct-12 19:40:28

How VERY dare you manly? smile No I think there is something in what you're saying. I am not exactly short-tempered but I have <whispers> burst into tears a couple of times, and have also said lots of times 'mummy is sooo tiiired', so perhaps if she was writing this thread she'd be saying 'mummy has gone mad just in time for new baby'!

ellesabe Wed 24-Oct-12 21:14:59

My 23mo dd is exactly the same! I'm 37 weeks pg and in the past month she has turned from such a timid little thing into a snatchy tantrum monster!
I'm hoping that someone who has been through this and come out the other end can arrive and tell us all that all will be fine once our babies arrive...


AngelDog Wed 24-Oct-12 23:10:43

Oh, this sounds very familiar. DS2 is 10 days old; 2.9 y.o. DS has been 'difficult' for the last month or so. He dropped his nap when I was 7.5 months pg which has made things worse.

<whispers> it's been much worse since DS2 arrives (though an average of 4-5 hours sleep a night for me, and DS1 being awake for 1.5 hours every night can't have helped).

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