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Separation Anxiety 10 month baby

(2 Posts)
Deutschmum Mon 22-Oct-12 09:02:59

We moved to Germany when my son was 6 months. I don't speak German so naturally am needing to learn. I've found great lessons with childcare provided, 2 mornings per week, however ds HATES it and i think i may have to stop trying but stay at home with him 5 days/week instead. I would expect that most babies cry a little when mum first leaves, but ds son is crying on and off, all 3 hours. Actually the mums nip back in the break to bf etc. so he's without me for only 1.5hrs at a time. I've been trying to take him on and off since 6mths, he's never liked is, but now at 10 mths it's worse than ever. The one lady of the 3 carers who seemed to be bonding with him is withdrawing and seemly giving up as she cant make him happy. The other 2 ladies expect him to play happily on the floor and don't cuddle him much (he is a big heavy chap) but he does not want to play. I'm so appreciating time alone and learning german but think i should painfully give up for now. I cant discuss this very well with the child carers as my german is not so good and they speak no english... Any suggestions from mums who have been through this?

diyqueen Mon 22-Oct-12 09:36:02

I feel for you - dd never liked being left and would cry hysterically - and that was just being left with her dad! They're all different but for her it lasted til she was about 16/17 months, then suddenly it was like she understood that I was going to come back and she's fine with dp for a few hours now (I think she would still have problems being left with strangers). Nothing I did made any difference, though I've always taken care to explain where I'm going and when I'll be back and I think she understands some of that now at 19mo.

I think for the moment you may have to find other ways of learning German - could you do a course on CD/the internet, watch German tv, find a one-to-one tutor who would be happy for you to have your son with you? And buy some simple German baby books to read to him, might help your German too! Do you have any English ex-pat friends who live near you, for company and support?

It is really hard when babies hate being left, I remember it well. On the upside dd is a really cuddly and affectionate toddler still, though she is much more independent now (we go to toddler groups and as long as sh knows I'm there, she'll wander off and play for ages).

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