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My DS wants me to take items out of his room at sleep times

(11 Posts)
Emmylooo Sun 21-Oct-12 23:06:17

Help! I really don't think he's being mischievous and prolonging bedtime, but my 2.8 year old has suddenly taken to calling me back into his room at nap times and night times to move things out of his room, not just take them, but take them DOWNSTAIRS. He seems quite unnerved by the whole affair of going to sleep at the moment. Over the last few nights I've had to take random teddies out, (not causing shadows I hasten to add), a picture on his wall, a book under his bed...?, his cup, straighten his sleeping bag out, you name it! It's driving me and DH mad, although he sleeps through perfectly after we've been through this rigmarole! smile, so I guess we are lucky in that respect. We haven't had any changes in our house/with people/nursery etc, is it just him growing up and dealing with his new world/experiences?

QTPie Sun 21-Oct-12 23:20:45

Maybe it is just a control thing?

My DS is 2 years and almost 9 months and I am noticing big developmental changes these past few week - most of them awareness/control (the latter not being great for behaviour - really testing boundaries, which he doesn't normally do).


pictish Sun 21-Oct-12 23:23:26

Yes I think it's about control as well.
How yopu deal with that is up to you, but I'd probably start refusing him.

QTPie Mon 22-Oct-12 00:33:41

To illustrate my above point (about development changes and control and this age...), I just came upstairs to bed. On checking on my son (I put him to bed, but he likes to get out and play with his toys for a while afterwards - I never make a fuss, just go downstairs), I found him asleep in his wardrobe! This isn't the first time (I have found him asleep there before during an afternoon nap), fortunately, so I knew where to look (and didn't freak out...). I picked him up and put him back into bed (he opened his eyes, hugged me, turned over and went back to sleep...).

The other thing that we have had a lot of (past two weeks or so) is poos in the nappy when put to bed. I know it is happening (sincf it is just before i leave and i hear the grunts) and change it. No fuss is made (but it is frustrating, especially after a long day!)

I think that they are becoming children (and nolonger toddlers) at this age and are becoming a lot more aware of themselves, their surroundings and how they can control things. This makes sense, because "remembering back" I am pretty sure that "about 3" is when I have a lot more recollections (and not too much from before then).

Doesn't help with your problem, but explains it. Whatever you do, don't make a fuss - do it very matter-of-factly. It will pass (if it isn't made into an issue).

alwaysworriedtoo Mon 22-Oct-12 09:32:27

Have you asked why he wants a thing moving?
My d.d did this and when asked she always gave a reason like, 'The eyes look funny in the dark' 'its watching me' or 'it reminds me of a scary story'
I would move it for her after she gave a reason but at the same time reasure her that it would be ok and I was only moving it so she wouldn't have to look at it.
She grew out of it!

Emmylooo Mon 22-Oct-12 14:16:17

Thank you for your comments. OK, a control thing. Over me or surroundings or both? Makes sense. I have asked why he wants this or that moved and he can't or won't! explain. I'll try to ask him in different ways when it happens again, without badgering him! Just worried that if I refuse, can I deal with the wailing that will ensue? It has coincided with him being less willing to go into rooms by himself and on occasion he thinks there are 'animals' in his room....

Emmylooo Mon 22-Oct-12 14:17:36

QTPie - thanks for the comment about not making a fuss, I think that's really useful for me to remember!!

FireOverBabylon Mon 22-Oct-12 14:25:18

Ds did something similar at that age but for him it was about him wanting to play / get up / not go to bed. We turned his lamp to low (he has a touch lamp) and told him he had 10 minutes to play with x (suitable non-noisy toy) and then we'd turn his light out, which we did.

Maybe tell your son he has 10 minutes to put anything he wants out in the box and then you'll turn the lights out, so he has more control of this? For DS it only last a month or so but was very wearing whilst it lasted.

Emmylooo Tue 23-Oct-12 07:26:26

thanks for the posts. It so happens that he didn't have an afternoon nap yesterday, the first time he's ever chosen not to, and he was asleep as soon as he hit the sack! I'm not counting ANY chickens though!

pictish Tue 23-Oct-12 10:12:00

Hi - when I say I would start refusing him, I mean that if I sensed carry on for the sake of it, I wouldn't pander.

If I thought he was genuinely frightened it would be a different story.

I think the box is a brilliant idea - hand him a box and tell him to put anything he doesn't want in his room overnight in it. It gives him responsibility in dealing with it, and neatly gets you out of scuttling around at his behest as well.

Emmylooo Tue 23-Oct-12 21:50:37

I LOVE the idea of the box, will try that and let you know, thank you!

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