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Is 44 too old to think about baby number 3?

(14 Posts)
Challen Wed 17-Oct-12 22:40:48

Pros and cons? I already have two, one pre-schooler and Year 1.

Lougle Wed 17-Oct-12 22:42:54

I don't know. But, in all seriousness, at 44 you need to be doing more 'doing' and less 'thinking' if you think you want it to happen, because time is not on your side, and it would be a crying shame to miss the opportunity by thinking too hard.

I have 3. It's exhausting, but the good points outweigh the bad.

RyleDup Wed 17-Oct-12 23:00:45

I don't think its too old, but I wouldn't spend too much time pondering it if its what you want. Im 43, have a 5 yr old and a 3 yr old. I would have liked another one, but in all honesty, now that I've got through the sleepless nights and got rid of the nappies, I don't want to go back and do it all again. But if you can handle it, then go for it.

Katisha Wed 17-Oct-12 23:02:06

There's no answer to "is x too old". If you want another then give it a try.

QTPie Wed 17-Oct-12 23:06:03

I am 38 (39 in Feb) and would dearly like DC2 (we are trying and currently exploring fertility treatment - apparently we both have problems sad ). I would agree to "get on with it" if you want to: firstly there is the whole fertility thing, but the pregnancy (it does take a toll...), sleep disturbances, chasing round after a mega-active toddler become less appealing with age too...

Not having one has to be the easy answer, but what fun is life if itbis too easy? ;)

Good luck if you do smile

Ponders Wed 17-Oct-12 23:17:36

I was 42 when I had DC4 & I didn't think that was too old (clearly grin) - not a lot of difference. I agree with the others here - you obviously want to so get trying!

good luck smile

Challen Wed 17-Oct-12 23:27:46

What I mean specifically I suppose is, I would be in my mid 50s before the child even starts secondary school.

Energy levels will have plummeted I presume, and my adult child may only be in their 20s when I die, as opposed to their 40s like most of us, or even 50s.

floozietoozie Wed 17-Oct-12 23:29:40

Pros - you get to have another child.

Cons - you get to have another child....

Ok, seriously, the pros as mentioned above. The cons are as other posters said - pregnancy is knackering, sleepless nights, toddler tantrums, running around after toddler. You'll be at least 50 when your child is six, or five probably. Obviously there's a higher risk of abnormalities or pregnancy complications the older you get, although if you are fit and healthy the latter might not really apply. I have to say I take my hat off to you for contemplating it - I have two kids also Y1 and age 2, and I'm exhausted and I'm younger than you. However if I was younger, had a healthy dp, had had less traumatic, non-premature births and not had a disabled child, I'd have had more too, so lots of luck if you go for it. I always wanted three really, infertility slowed the whole process down too much in the end for me.

MrsVincentPrice Wed 17-Oct-12 23:32:09

Only if you can cope with it being another two (or three) children - higher rates of multiples at that age. Also sadly, you'd need to be emotionally prepared for a very high miscarriage risk.

QTPie Wed 17-Oct-12 23:33:48

There are "young 50 year olds" and "old 35 year olds" - ok it might not be easy, but ageing is a state of mind (to a certain extent). If you are mentally up for it (and not too stressy), then having kids later in life could help keep you young.

Your DC3 will be one of 3 - so will have siblings to share an aging parent with.

straighttohellymelly Wed 17-Oct-12 23:35:13

As you already have a very small child, the age difference will be negligable, so you will be in your fifties with a young child whatever. I say go for it, why not, if want one? I had my 2nd at 43, but decided not to try for a third as she was a terrible sleeper, and I just didn't feel up to the sheer physical grind of another pregnancy so soon. (would have meant a third c-section too which was a big factor for me). If I'd been getting more sleep and not felt so completely knackered I think we would have tried for another.

Challen Wed 17-Oct-12 23:39:44

That's an interesting point, that I already have two young children already so will be in my 50s anyway with youngsters..

ListenToYourHeart Wed 17-Oct-12 23:40:53

My mum had me at 43, there's a 17 year age gap between me and my youngest sister. I loved having a slightly older mum than most of my friends as she always seemed less stressed and more relaxed but that's just personal experience.

Honestly if you want DC3 I think you should go for it.

Challen Wed 17-Oct-12 23:49:18

Thankyou for your views. I am not trying for a baby nor likely to, I only ask in the event of accidental pregnancy, as my current partner is possibly ambivalent about the whole idea, specifically with regards to the health/age issue.

I suspect that because I can see us bumbling along together quite nicely for a few years, the question will resolve itself anyway with the natural onset of time, as I believe he does not really actively want children as he considers himself 'too old'. His own mother has suffered serious health issues through his childhood and it concerns him to think he would be an older father and unable to tend his own child due to age/health.
Because I accept deep down he doesn't really want children, it just makes me a little broody to think this is it.

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