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clingy baby, am I doing it wrong?(19 Posts)
I am incredibly lucky, I have a gorgeous, healthy baby who is generally pretty good at night and so don't feel entitled to make any complaints. However as she is my first I wanted to ask if this is normal or whether i am doing something wrong. She is lovely and cuddly most of the time when being held but if i put her down even for a minute during the day she screams inconsolably until she is picked up. I have tried different places to put her down - bouncy chair, play mat etc but always the same. I do sometimes put her in a sling but find this uncomfortable after a short while. I have tried leaving her to see if she will settle but she becomes hysterical and i have to pick her up. It means i am achieving very.little in the house. If this is just what babies are like then fine but i wanted to check it is normal and not a sign either that something is wrong with her or that I am doing something wrong! Any advice gratefully received. She is 7 weeks old by the way.
maybe its uncomfortable, perhaps have a check up at a chiropractor or osteopath to make sure she doesn't have a stiff neck/back that make it hard for her to lie down.
otherwise, anything beyond getting up and brushing your teeth is a productive day with a baby so don't expect to achieve too much, so long as they have clean bums and full tums you're doing your job!
This is normal (I'd love to say that it isn't and that there is some magical solution! )
Funnily enough, I've just read 12 things your crying baby wants you to know and thought how true it was.
She needs you, you are her absolute world, she knows nothing else. And whilst it is frustrating for you when all you need to do is have a 2 minute shower and brush your teeth, she doesn't care about that.
Just keep her close to you. Have you got a sling? One of those Moby or wrap slings are great. My DD loved hers and I could get on doing the house work whilst she was tucked up in it!
Could a family member take her out for a walk whilst you catch up on things?
I'm sure others will be along to offer their experience and advice
Congrats on your DD by the way
7 weeks is tiny. Just forget trying to do anything. Hold and feed, change and feed. Etc. That's all.
How are you feeding? I formula fed but fed on demand and ds needed a lot of feeding to feel settled. Try feeding more ? .. dummy ? Ds loved his dummy.
My ds is 4 months old now and will play happily on his plat mat for 15 mins at most .... it will pass !!
Not every baby is like it (mine wasn't), but I really don't think it is abnormal as such.
Maybe speak to your HV and get her checked out by a GP, just in case (Iwas going to ask "reflux", but if she is sleeping well at night...).
There isn't any harm in going to a Cranial Osteopath (as a previous poster said): they can pick up subtle misalignments and help make babies more comfortable.
Look into more comfortable slings, and go with the flow!
What's she like in the car / pram?
I have 3 words for you..
Moby Wrap Sling It saved my life for the 1st 3months. So comfy, so easy to use once you have given it a go a couple of times.
Have you talked to your HV about it?
Has baby always screamed when laid down, or is it just in the day time. Try and notice if there is a pattern. Could baby be transitioning their naps?
Hang in there, it gets better x
My ds hated a sling even a Moby but he did like being swaddled... try some large muslin squares as they don't get too hot. Obviously you should stop swaddling when they start to roll as its not safe but honestly swaddling is brilliant
You have a 7 week old baby - you're not meant to get anything done in the house
Definitely get a better sling though, I can still carry my 2 year old comfortably, so you should be able to carry a 7 week old and barely feel her. I had a Close carrier but any stretchy wrap is good at this age.
Although probably nothing wrong at all I second what others have said, if you are worried ask GP to check. However 7 weeks is still tiny & all she wants is to be close you you, to smell your skin, share your warmth and feel your heartbeat. She doesn't know anything else yet, you really are her entire world. All babies are different, my first was extremely clingy and I couldn't put her down at all, didn't like the sling so i found it difficult to get things done. My second is slightly more patient and very content in her moby wrap while I
chase after tearaway 2yo DD go about my day.
If family/friends are close then ask for help with the chores etc, if the crying gets too much for you can someone maybe cuddle her or take her for a walk in her pram so you get a bit of time to shower/rest/eat etc?
It feels never ending but its not, she will learn to settle in her own time but in the mean time give her all the cuddles she wants & you won't ever regret it.
You have a 7 week old baby who loves being with her Mum more than anything in the world - how can you be doing anything wrong??
What ginmakesitallok said and remember that when she is 13, she won't feel the same
Sounds pretty normal to me (the clingy end of normal, but still normal). I think if there was something properly 'wrong' she would still cry even if you picked her up (DS1 was a very high needs, 'colicky', possibly refluxy baby, and he cried all the bloody time regardless of whether I picked him up). Sounds like your DD just likes a cuddle . Sod the housework and try to enjoy it. Once she starts noticing the world around her a bit more, she'll be more easily distracted and broaden her horizons a bit.
babies are genetically programmed to wail when put down. they have evolved to stay close to their mothers so that the tigers dont eat them up. they dont know it is 2012 and there are no predators in your house. get a better sling or just put your feet up with her on the sofa. a close caboo carrier is a great easy to use option for a little baby and a manduca would do you from birth to toddler.
as lapin says, in a few weeks she will be happy to go on a playmat for a short while.
Thank you that's reassuring, I don't really have family nearby and dh works very long hours but I can cope with her as she is. I just didn't want to be ignoring signs something was wrong!
Same with my DS - could not put him down, ever.
Don't want to freak you out, but with me it lasted a few months (born in August, only calmed down in the December).
I just went with it - slings around the house, or, when a bit bigger, I'd do the household stuff and make sure he was right next to me in a bouncy chair. (Never carry a baby in those chairs, though).
As everyone else has said, you're supposed to be just looking after the baby, forget the rest! As long as she doesn't continue to cry when you pick her up, which could be sign of colic or st else, I think it's normal.
One thing I didn't do, which I wish I had, was try a cranial osteopath, as that can help, as I had a problem when going out in the car as he would scream the whole journey
Normal she wants to be with you. You were joined for 9 months it is a whole new environment for her outside your womb. She just needs to feel you and be comforted. My baby is 17 weeks and was like this until around 11 weeks. She will now happily play on her play mat etc. enjoy the cuddles because they are very soon no longer snuggly little new borns.
Sod the house trust me it will wait a few more weeks for you
writergirl don't worry too much about missing out on the cranial osteopathy. We tried it with DS1 and it made zero difference and cost us a fortune. I don't want to turn this into a thread about cranial osteopathy; suffice to say that my husband now believes them all to be the biggest bunch of crap-talkers, charlatans and preyers-on-the-desperate on the planet. No idea if that's fair or true, but it's his (semi)-informed point of view.
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