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Clingy one year old(5 Posts)
My DD has just turned one. I went back to work full time when she was almost 11 months old. She goes to nursery 2 days per week and is looked after by her Dad the other days.
The problem is that she is very clingy. She has taken quite a while to settle into nursery and still cries when she is dropped off. When we are in the house, she doesn't like getting put down and often cries if/when we try to leave her with friends or family. By this I mean leave her being held by someone else while we go and put the kettle on or hang up a washing or something.
I'm just wondering if this is normal? I have read that children get separation anxiety at this age. I feel so guilty about going back to work so when other people advise me to "take a hard line" with her, I feel reluctant to do so. Have I done something wrong when she was younger?
Also, how do you get anything done in the house when you have a baby who want you to carry her around all the time. She is pretty mobile now, so sitting her on the floor while I make beds, fold laundry and stuff doesn't work anymore.
She is my first child and I feel totally clueless and very worried.
Please don't worry! My DD was exactly like this and still can be sometimes. It was a shock to me as my DS who's older was not clingy at all. I don't think there's anything you did/didn't do to make her like that, some babies are just made that way.
I would suggest talking to nursery-it took a fair bit of hard work on their part but after a while DD got used to nursery and now goes in with just a kiss and cuddle. Her key worker should have some ideas on how to settle her.
I never worked out how to get her to be happy at being left whilst I went to another room, I just persevered and now she's 2.5 she is mainly ok with it. If you're lucky she'll be fascinated by the jobs you do and my DD is actually now a great help
On the plus side she never liked me doing jobs like vacuuming so I managed to get out of that one for a long while
Oh and plus I never really 'took a hard line' with her -I don't really have it in me to be harsh. I just took small steps at a time and she gradually got better.
Let her cling as much as possible. I would avoid the 'hard line' advice - you pushing her away will just make her more anxious. Some children go through a 'clingy' phase around this age where they are anxious about being separated from their parents. She will move through the stage when she becomes confident that every time you leave her, you always come back! Agree with speaking to nursery.
Thanks so much for these. The nursery have been pretty helpful and have suggested photos of us to be kept at nursery, given us photos of the staff in the room for DD to look at at home, we have brought her in for a few extra hours over the week to help her become familiar with the nursery etc.
I just worry that maybe I didn't leave her with other people very much when she was younger and now this is too much of a shock to her system. My DH is keen for her to go to MIL's overnight or for a full day now. I think this is closing the stable door after the horse has bolted, so to speak and my instincts are to keep her as close as possible until this settles down.
She has to go to nursery, as we both have to work at (albeit, part time for DH) but anything else I think can wait. How long did other people's DCs take until they were ok with being separated?
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