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Pooing after "lights out" (still in nappies) driving me mad!

(10 Posts)
QTPie Mon 15-Oct-12 20:50:44

Hasn't really happened before (maybe a couple of times in 2 years 8 months...), but happened LOADS in the past 2 weeks (mainly night time, but also sometimes daytime nap too).

I do the whole bedtime routine (bath, dressed, story, cuddle, two minute warning, minute warning, say I am leaving, go to his door, close the stair gate, he comes and kisses me), then leave he room. As I leave the room, I hear him go behind the bedroom door and make "poo" noises...

.... So I wait for him to finish, go in, turn light on (too dark otherwise), don't make a fuss, reassure that it is fine, change him, turn light off, go wash hands, go back, kiss him again, say goodnight and that is it (no more cuddles, no more stories, nothing). I just couldn't "leave him in it" (one night recently I didn't hear him do it, went to check him before bed, realised that he had done a massive poo, had to change him there and then - he was half awake at the end and took some time to settle sad ).

Today, at afternoon nap time, I went behind the bedroom door and said "poo". I offered him the option to come to the bathroom a d sit on the potty. He did, I gave him the iPad (maybe a mistake!) and he spent half an hour there with no poo! None that nap time. But much delayed nap time (took him ages to get to sleep after that...). The poo almost seems like an "opportunity" (a pattern that you can use to get him onto the potty), BUT it is such horrible timing! By sleep/nap time (and after going through the whole bedtime routine), last thing you want to do is change a poo-ey nappy.... And even attempting o put him on the potty seems to be a mistake then (since it is adverse to trying to settle him...).

He is teething at the moment (last of the back 4) and I assume this is "only a phase" - if I can play it down (scrap the "taking advantage an whopping the putty out idea"....). But please reassure me that other toddlers do this and come out the other side...

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 15-Oct-12 22:40:19

I think it's just a phase but if he was mine I'd be potty training, sorry. If you do sit him on the potty I'd avoid the ipad though as its way too stimulating, try him with a book instead.

QTPie Mon 15-Oct-12 22:43:08

Jilted do you mean "generally you would be potty training him at hat age" or "specifically you would be taking advantage of these pre-nap poos to potty train"?

Agree that the iPad was a big mistake sad (had it "to hand" at he time - tend to read as DS falls asleep...)

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 15-Oct-12 22:47:56

Don't mean I would be training him at that age as a rule, just if they were showing signs of readiness, which I think this is.

elfycat Mon 15-Oct-12 22:47:59

We have a similar thing with our 3.9 month old DD1. She only wears nappies at night and inevitably does the jumbo-poo-of-the-day within 5 minutes of the nappy going on.

I've taken to bribing her with some very odd things to get her to sit on the toilet and have a decent try at it. By odd I mean - things she's going to get anyway and knows it, but she's not getting anything until there's a poo in the toilet that we can exclaim over and wave goodbye to luckily I went mad some time ago

Sometimes she doesn't need to so after a good moment in the bathroom we carry on as normal. Sometimes there's still a miss and a nappy change.

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 15-Oct-12 22:50:59

Gosh elfy, and I thought I was a tough mum but never made mine sit on the toilet that young grin

QTPie Mon 15-Oct-12 23:03:44

THanks very much, both of you.

Yes, I agree that he is physically ready and capable - just doesn't show any "desire" at the moment or acknowledge after he has gone.... We tried potty training in August and he actually stopped doing a poo altogether for a while (after seeing himself do one in a potty and getting freaked out by what, I assume, came out of his body). So i completely backed away. He has no "not going issues" for a couple of months now, but shows no keenness (slough does, fairly willingly, sit on the potty ready a book before his bath).

He is due to start pre-school in Feb and needs to be potty trained by then, so it is on my mind to try again soon.

Ok, I will buckle down, I will give it a go and encourage him in the direction of the potty "sans iPad" (but with books) when I see the signs (pre-nap) again. Blooming frustrating though: naps are a bit disrupted at the moment (I blame teething) and this isn't going to help.... I am loathed to rock the boat re naps, but potty training is something that we need to get on and do (without further traumatising him).

Sadly DS doesn't fall for incentives: stickers/chocolate/park/school are all turned down....

Elfy, no sanity or dignity left here - will try anything! ;)

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 15-Oct-12 23:16:57

Have you read the nct book on potty training? I found it very good when when I was pt mine. It's not prescriptive and makes you fell a lot better about what's going on.

As for the poo issue, try sticking him on the potty with his nappy on. Once he has started pooing on the potty you can start loosening the nappies until eventually you just put the nappy on the potty. It usually takes a couple of weeks from no pooing to no nappy.

QTPie Mon 15-Oct-12 23:20:57

Thanks jilted, I haven't seen that book. Will go look for it and try your advice smile

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 15-Oct-12 23:22:47

It is a lovely book and don't worry too much, preschool is a few months away.

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