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First time fathers over 40

(9 Posts)
Snog Sun 14-Oct-12 17:37:43

It used to be rare to have a dad over 40 - I know because I had one myself.

My contemporary male friends and family are only just starting their families and are all between 40 and 47. I am curious as to how this works out for men? There's plenty written about older mothers but not much written about older fathers? Is it a non issue?

greenbananas Mon 15-Oct-12 07:24:08

I married DH when he was 40 and I was 33. He was 43 when we had DS1 and will be 47 when DS2 is born in about 3 weeks time smile

It's not exactly a non-issue. I think DH does get a bit more tired than younger dads. However, he can still carry DS on his shoulders, mess around on the floor playing lego, play football in the park etc. He is settled and sure of himself in a way that I don't think he was when he was younger, and I think his maturity and life experience is valuable to him as a father (and he is a great dad).

I worry that DH will be a grumpy old man when our boys are still teenagers - but then again, maybe they will help to keep us both young in our outlooks?

ripsishere Mon 15-Oct-12 07:29:29

DH was 43 when our DD was born. I was 37. He has much more energy than me and takes her running and swimming.
Now that she is 11, he is planning to go scuba diving with her. He obviously wouldn't teach her himself, he could but won't.

Snog Wed 24-Oct-12 17:49:08

Do you think they think of themselves as "older fathers"?

FariesDoExist Thu 25-Oct-12 14:48:24

We had DD1 when DP was 40, it's not a big issue but yes I think he does think of himself as an older father, and sometimes he talks about the fact that he'll be in his 60's when DD1 is 20. I think he sometimes wishes he'd been younger when we started having kids.

paperclips Sat 27-Oct-12 20:59:00

My DH is 41 and I'm 33, we got married last year and had our first child last month. He is a young 41 though seems more like my age. I was in a rush for us to start a family more cos of his age than mine. We want another child eventually, even with a difficult screamy 4 week old I know that!

He is sometimes quite awqare of his age in that his own dad died fairly young and he gets a bit fatalistic about things, I remind him has a healthier lifestyle than his dad, if he looks after himself he can still be around to be a grandad one day.

He is fit and active, but I do worry when we eat badly and are putting on weight.

vampirestakeknickers Sat 27-Oct-12 21:04:10

Most of DP's friends have had their children in their forties, so now we are going through a phase of weekends/dinner parties with long discussions about state vs private, and the joys of retirement. Weirdly, virtually all have had one or two dds, there's one sad and lone ds in the mix... but I digress. I don't really know any younger dads tbh.

TangleStash Tue 30-Oct-12 18:32:47

I'm 32 and DJ is 42, we had our first in May. He def feels like an older dad, esp as some of his friends have teenaged kids. This is the first time I have noticed an age gap between us as he is finding the broken nights a lot harder to deal with.

hpsaucy Tue 30-Oct-12 18:41:07

My DH was 46 when we had DD1 now nearly 12, DD2 was born 2 weeks after his 50th!!.

Never been an issue. He's a great dad.

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