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Extreme anxiety for baby DD

(10 Posts)
ohmygoshandgolly Sun 14-Oct-12 01:48:35

I have 3 DCs, DS is 3.5 years, DD1 is 20 months and DD2 is just 4 weeks old.

Ever since i found out i was pregnant with DD2, I have been waiting for something to go wrong. I had a bad feeling about the pregnancy and was anxious throughout. I had a feeling that I had 'got away with it' with my two healthy older children and that, somehow, it was my turn to have some heartache.

DD2 arrived and all is well thankfully, but I can't seem to shake off the fear that something is still going to go wrong for her. I am constantly checking her in the night, anxious about every grunt and burp in a way that i never did with my older two.

Has anyone else felt this way? As if things are too good to be true and that it isn't possible to be lucky enough to have 3 healthy children? Why on earth can't i just relax and enjoy her?

ohmygoshandgolly Sun 14-Oct-12 07:11:34

Anyone?

Haahoostory Sun 14-Oct-12 07:57:53

No expert, but I felt more anxious about my second pregnancy. Luckily my ds2 was healthy and beautiful, but I do know what you mean. I guess we all hear so many unhappy stories about pregnancy, childbirth and new babies that it makes us wonder if something awful is going to happen to us. How old is your daughter now? Maybe as she gets stronger and more robust your feelings may fade. Now my ds2 is crawling, I'm less concerned about checking him whilst he is sleeping all the time, although I still check him several times a night! I guess there will be always be something to worry about at every stage in their lives, so try to push those neg thoughts to the back of your mind and enjoy them. X

scarlettsmummy2 Sun 14-Oct-12 08:01:01

I was like this with second baby, for exactly the same reasons. I put it down to being much more aware of the various things that can go wrong.

I was like this with my 1st (currently pregnant with DC2) - I saw my doctor because I'd suffered with anxiety and depression previously and I wasn't sure what was normal. He sent me for some CBT which really helped, I'd recommend.

I wouldn't say I'm without anxiety now (I still check DS's pulse/breathing if I get up in the night and I haven't really got used to the idea I'm having another baby even though I'm nearly due - I think because I'm scared something will go wrong) but it's under much better control now, it doesn't dominate my every thought or action

I'd recommend you see your GP, you want to be enjoying this time, not worrying it away

cupcake78 Sun 14-Oct-12 08:31:09

Could you take her to your gp, get her checked over and talk to your gp about how your feeling? It is common to feel like this but it's not nice and if its getting worse rather than better maybe its time to talk to someone about it.

It is very possible to have three healthy happy pregnancies and babies smile.
Talk to someone about it.

onedev Sun 14-Oct-12 08:31:10

I'm still like this now but a lot less so. I have 3 boys - 5,3& 17 months and although its gotten easier I still have a sense of 'no-one can be this lucky, something's bound to happen'.

Don't get me wrong though, it doesn't interfere with my happiness as such & we all have great fun but its still a constant worry (although only for me - I've spoken to DH about it but the boys wouldn't be aware).

I was talking to a friend the other day & she seemed quite shocked that I said I wouldn't recommend parenthood to anyone - it's the most amazing feeling & experience ever, but the worry is massive. The saying about having your heart walk around outside your body is so true.

For me, it's natural & as long as it doesn't stop or hold us back in anyway, I'm happy to live with it.

ohmygoshandgolly Sun 14-Oct-12 11:37:50

Thank you so so much everyone. It is good to feel I am not alone - you all make sense and are very reassuring that it is not just me who feels this way.

I will be taking DD to the GP for her 6 week check soon and I will def mention how I am feeling.

It's odd that the more children I have had, the more anxious I have become - I suppose you're right that I am more aware of the potential problems given that my circle of friends are all mothers with young children and babies.

Thank you cupcake78 for saying that it is possible to have 3 healthy babies - I will hold onto that thought. All the best for a (stress-free) pregnancy, nicecupoftea.

Haahoostory Sun 14-Oct-12 12:09:37

Ps that is my ds1s favourite line from elmer!

ohmygoshandgolly Sun 14-Oct-12 12:26:20

smile

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