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Fantastic 40+ Mums

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Hpbp Wed 10-Oct-12 19:57:03

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

Goatbongohohoandjinglejingle Sat 05-Jan-13 17:31:12

Are we sure Ewan is a boy? Wouldn't he be Ramon if he were?

<joins vq in being dragged by white-coated men>

I tried waking bg when I go to bed to see if he would then last longer at night. It just resulted in an extra feed. sad

littleredmonkey Sat 05-Jan-13 18:36:45

What feed patterns do u guys do at night start at 6 in the evening. ?

bytheseaside Sat 05-Jan-13 19:18:45

grin at ramon

lrm not surprisingly no real pattern for us, on demand and pretty unpredictable, but often an evening of hourly cluster feeding from 8-ish into the early hours, then a couple of 3 hourly feeds when i'm very lucky! sometime the middly-of-the-night ones are dream feeds for both of us. also since the early prem weeks Ive never woken her to feed - never needed to though!

just had 3 whole hours to myself as daddy took her for a drive - the only known way to ensure sleep if im not there. like an idiot i rushed round sorting laundry and xmas presents rather than sleeping. did manage to 'tidy up' some tree chocolates though. please can you come round and make me chocolate log midget? i think i really need it. have cough and sore throat - feeling a bit rough.

blueblackdye Sat 05-Jan-13 19:27:01

LRM, experts say that when baby is above 5.5kg, it has enough food reserve to sleep through, but does that mean from 10.30pm to 7am or from 7pm to 4am ? Whichever, I understand that it means 8/9 hours of sleep with no feed.

My night starts around 6.30/7pm with the last feed, I offer her both boobs with a burp after the first boob, by 7.30/8pm, Anastasia settles on her own in her cot for the night, she has been waking up around 1.30/2am and then 6.30/7am. So far, I have fed her to get her back to sleep at 1.30 and 6.30am and she would sleep until 9am. Last night I ignored her at 1.30am, she fell back asleep after showing off her little voice, gently and woke up at 7.30, fed, played until 8.45, nap until 9.45, played until 12, fed, nap again from 12.30 to 1.45, played, fed at 3.30pm, nap to 4.30, played, had her bath at 6, has started feeding at 6.45pm. She seems to be sleeping but sucks regularly and I hear her swallowing, if not I stroke her behind her ear to get her pumping !!!
I am planning not to feed again tonight at 1.30 and see how it goes. I'd rather wake up at 4 or 5 am to feed than 1.30 ! I tried the dream feed at 11pm, but she would still wake up at 1.30, so I gave up that feed. Clearly she did not need it, it is still too early to say whether she needs a feed at 1.30. If she needs it, I will try again in a month time, whilst on hols, to make her give it up, by postponing it by 30 min for a few days and then increasing by another 30 min... Plans always sound brilliant, but babies arenot always in the mood for new experiences and they change their pattern all the time. So I will keep trying.

Have cleared up a bit the spare room, found unopened baby items bought at John Lewis ages ago but receipts were with the stuff (bebe au lait feeding shawl, gro light showing room temperature, cot mattress protector, cot bedsheet.... Even a black out blind), took everything back, left the store richer by £150. Have already plans to spend the money !!!

blueblackdye Sat 05-Jan-13 19:32:17

Seaside, poor you, try to kill straight away the sore throat and coughing, for you and baby, it is horrible to have a sick baby. Send her out again with Daddy for you to sleep, may I suggest nightclub ?! smile

ValiumQueen Sat 05-Jan-13 20:21:47

bbd nice find! I have mislaid several current size vests that have been used. If I find them after he has out-grown them I will not be happy.

Our routine from 6. Hmm. Cluster feed until 10, sleep to 12 then wake at least hourly, get wind, hiccups, vomit, leak through nappy, then sleep for 3 hours from 9-12 when mummy cannot.

Mummy is tired and a bit resentful.

10000Fireflies Sat 05-Jan-13 21:14:25

On a 'good' night BFF has a feed which sends him to sleep anytime between 6.30-7.30pm. Then, he wakes at around 10pm for another feed. After that I start to lose track as I crack and bring him into the bed with us to stop him crying/fidgeting and I generally don't wake up too much even if he is feeding. He seems to feed again around 1am and 5am. A lot of this pattern has to do with him being so poorly before Christmas - we had a bad 6 week patch with him sick with tonsilitis, bronchiolitis and teething. BF soothed him one way or another. Tonight he was knackered by 6pm and apart from a little feed again at 7pm he is still asleep. Hope we are on the road to a better routine.

Awww. seaside. You're just like me. When I have some baby free time I madly dash around doing housework. Still, good work on the tree chocs!! I have hidden the remainder of the kilo of choc DH gave me so he couldn't polish it off. But I cracked and opened what I thought was a Panforte which we'd brought back from Italy. Turned out to be some choc and wafer confection, and very yummy it was too. So I ate half. envy - that's a sickie face, not envy btw. Oh, I love the confessionals on here. But seaside hope you're ok? Not feeling too hot myself and that's on top of choc overindulgence.

Good job on the clear out BBD!

Oh freaking hell VQ. No wonder you are a bit tired and resentful and the men in white coats are on your speed dial! How about a dose of gripe water before bed to deal with wind? (Boots own brand which is basically just bicarb), maybe a mummy-blend tea also daytime if you can face it and are BF. Leaky nappies? Can you go up a size or two even overnight?

We took baby FF to the playground while on walk this avo, so he had his first go in swing. He loved it. We all got rather excited, so I then climbed up the slide and got DH to hand poppet to me. But my arse is too big and I got stuck at the top!!! envy Thankfully noone else was there to witness this rather embarrassing scenario. It really is time to sort out diet and get exercising!!

I will start offering some more healthy options in the snug... but only from tomorrow. I have my dinner and then banoffee pie to eat first.

Sweet dreams all, esp you, baby VQ!! Night night! xx

Midgetm Sat 05-Jan-13 22:04:33

grin at getting stuck ff. Appears master midge having a growth spurt. Been feeding on and off since 7.30. This is because I was a little snug about his sleep. Damn me.

Midgetm Sat 05-Jan-13 22:05:08

Smug even

blueblackdye Sat 05-Jan-13 22:47:16

FF, thank you for this good laugh, I had to read this bit of your post to DH, he thinks we are weird on MN ! Talking about such random stuff smile
VQ, so sorry to hear you are still having a hard time with J. Can you find an osteopath who could help him to be less miserable re wind and hiccups ? I also give a few teaspoons of water to Anastasia when she has hiccups, it works for her and gets her used to the non taste of water too.
Good night every one. I really have to keep on clearing the room, if only I could find a treasure that allows me to hire a full time teacher so that I don't worry about school for DS, buy a massive house with a garden and hire a cook, then I would be able to entertain my MN mum friends. I would start by getting night wet nannies for those who need sleep most, i.e all of us !

Midgetm Sat 05-Jan-13 22:55:43

I'll cook for you but it will be mainly cake.

Goatbongohohoandjinglejingle Sun 06-Jan-13 07:32:03

Argh just lost a lengthy post!

midget like you I am paying for being smug about BG's sleeping. It has been getting worse and worse until last night was a lovely cycle of wake, grizzle, feed sloppily, grizzle, attempt and fail to pacify, transfer, throw self round cot until so knackered fall asleep. Repeat at half hourly intervals. I honestly thought I was going to lose it.

ff your playground story made me laugh!
vq that sounds utterly draining. Hope you get some respite. How do you
find the energy to marshal us wibbly tummiers?!
bbd hooray for the JL windfall! It might be that treasure next.
Hope you are not coming down with anything seaside. Keep going with the medicinal chocolate.
lrm how are you doing? Still shaming us all on that x trainer?

ff the best thing about all the lovely food in the snug is that it is completely fat and calorie free! Eat as much as you want!

littleredmonkey Sun 06-Jan-13 09:27:10

Morning ladies. Tried a new routine last night. Feed at normal 7 sleep by 7:30. Dp lifted out of basket asleep at 10:30. Left nappy as no poo and in pampers 12 hours soak up stay dry time. So the packet says. He did a dream feed never really woke. Polished off 5oz in minutes back to basket at 10:45 and slept till 5:45. So an amazing. 7 hours kip. He cried twice for a few seconds then went back to sleep.

Goat. Yep still on exercise programme every other day is x trainer last night was weights and an hour walk. Today is x trainer. Weighed myself this morning and lost 7 lbs in a week. The first two weeks u lose the biggest then aiming for 2 lbs a wee. My diet is the same as before when o lost 5+ stone so I know the drill. Easiest thing for me is not having any thing in the house so no bread in any form. No crisps or crackers. No sweets biscuits or choc. I have a weekly treat yesterday's was a massive egg sandwich and tea cake. So off to a good start only 56 more pounds to go.

littleredmonkey Sun 06-Jan-13 09:29:25

Need to win the lottery so they can suck out the other 56 pounds of fat.

littleredmonkey Sun 06-Jan-13 09:31:47

Ps legs ache like mad from doing squats. Who invented these painful exercises. O hate squats and lunges. No pain no gain bollocks.

littleredmonkey Sun 06-Jan-13 09:45:58

Pps. Ff dont you dare offer up healthy options in the snug haha. It's the only place I can cheat. I think I will have mac cheese with garlic bread with more cheese on then washed down with pop. Pudding chocolate cake warm and ice cream. Snacks of nuts honey roasted. Choc toberlone and Ben and Jerry ice cream oh o think cookie dough flavour. I love the snug

10000Fireflies Sun 06-Jan-13 09:52:22

lrm that's some breakfast! I'll get ordering!!

littleredmonkey Sun 06-Jan-13 09:57:18

Excellent ff. I will get us a cuppa each to wash it down with.

littleredmonkey Sun 06-Jan-13 10:02:21

What's everyone else having in the snug

blueblackdye Sun 06-Jan-13 10:48:48

Croissant and coffee, for me. And later on, a galette des rois (king cake ? Epiphany cake ? Don't know how it is called in English !) Hope will not break my crown on the charm/coin... Last time it was with home made couscous...
Yeah LRM, that was a good night sleep, well done baby M ! Baby Goat and baby J, tonight it will be your turns to offer a good night sleep to your Mums.

Midgetm Sun 06-Jan-13 13:14:58

Morning all. Midge is both having a growth spurt and teething. Someone tell him this is too early for teeth please. Heading into town to stuff my face for the last time before the diet. grin hope the thighs aren't too bad LRM

10000Fireflies Sun 06-Jan-13 16:55:41

OMG, went out for a light lunch and inadvertently ordered the biggest club sandwich. As well and chicken and bacon it also had a fried egg and other stuff. Oopsy!! Put me right off my banoffee pie!!

Anyone else for roast pork for dinner? I could do new potatoes, but I'm sure those chunky chips in the freeze are going to go off if I don't use them up.

Wow, DH is being such an arse. Last night he got in a strop when I asked him to be careful with the v thick winter duvet and DS. So much so, that me made a point about how careful he can be by sleeping on the floor. Silly **er!! And he's just told me things at work are ok, so I can't excuse his bad behaviour with that either.

Midget good luck with the teething if that's what it is.

Goatbongohohoandjinglejingle Sun 06-Jan-13 17:48:54

ff don't you just hate it when these things insist on falling onto your plate or your shopping basket!
I have eaten enough sugar to feed an army of hyperactive five year olds today. Tomorrow I will be better. Also did no exercise AT ALL. Spent three hours in bed asleep though, making up for last night. Sometimes I reeeally reeeeeeally love DH.... smile

10000Fireflies Sun 06-Jan-13 22:27:36

Indeed Goat, it is most unfortunate. smile Now don't you go worrying about exercising. It's bad for you!! Awww, lucky you with a nice thoughtful DH!

I wish I knew why my H was being such a t**t at the moment. While I sorted out the rubbish this avo, he was keeping an eye on poppet. Poppet v whingey, so I stopped half way through to investigate and found him up to his armpits in poo. sad H does as close to f**k all around the house and is currently working his worst passive aggressive treatment of me. sad I've tried everything I can to deal with it. You know, throwing crockery, leaving the mess to pile up, asking nicely, shouting less nicely etc etc Nothing works. I just get on and do it as best I can single handedly. He rarely makes appreciative noises about what I do. Hey ho. Sorry for the whinge. Maybe I should air my problems on AIBU and see how long it takes for someone to suggest I 'leave the bastard'!! Anyway, enough of that. Must get my PMA down of the shelf and dust it off.

BBD I like your plan to keep clearing your room to find hidden treasure to eventually entertain us!! Great plan. I will keep my fingers crossed that you find something really valuable. Like a big bag of amazing diamonds, or a multi-million winning lottery ticket.

Gosh, I don't feel great. Worried about Noro. Though it could have been the egg in the triple layer (boak!!) club I had this avo. I couldn't force down a chunk of galaxy now even if you paid me.

Poppet conked out around 6.30pm, and apart from a little wake up shortly afterwards for a humungous belch and a bit of a feed has been sound asleep since then. Fingers crossed we are getting back to things as they were at the start of November. He slept through the night twice then, and in his own cot too!!

Love to all. FF xx

ValiumQueen Mon 07-Jan-13 07:42:18

FF leave the bastard! ;-)

J took a while to settle, but did so at around 11. He woke several times, but settled with the help of Ewan. He required feeding at 5 and then went to sleep. Well done J!!!!

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