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advice on 16 year old daughter who hates her older sister and is threatening to leave

(3 Posts)
mspanda Tue 09-Oct-12 00:18:53

am single mum (past 11 years) with an 18 yo and 16 yo daughters. I think younger one has unresolved issues about father and is secretly full of self-loathing. Elder one has complex medical issues and takes up alot of my time. I try to spend equal amounts with both (if anything younger gets more).

they used to have a normal relationship (ganging up on me/squabbling with each other) but since older one got ill, it has deteriorated to the point where all weekend, younger has demanded I 'get rid' of the older daughter otherwise she will leave. She walked out yesterday - I was frantic and found her 20 mins later in the car.

I see the reasons but can't get her to engage. I just get 'I don't care'.

Heartstart Tue 09-Oct-12 00:23:23

Hi I'm sure that you have but coud you sit down with younger daughter and ask her why as elder sis isnillmshenis gettingbsomupset. Ntalk to her as an adult and be clear how much you love and value her

mspanda Tue 09-Oct-12 00:26:41

Believe me, I have tried that. She says she's not listening and puts her hands over her ears (she seems quite mature in some ways, others not ...). She says she just thinks her sister is a horrible person and now won't even call her by her name.

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