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Sleep problems 4 yr old. I think we are being unreasonable but what to do?

(32 Posts)
bankofbigland Mon 08-Oct-12 07:14:55

I know sleep problems are done to death but any help would be gratefully received.
We have 2 children who share. room, 4.5 yrs and 3.5 yrs. Most of the last four yrs has ot been great for sleep, inevitable I know with 2 children. So bad that my husband and I have slept apart for a lot of that time so that he can function at work. Anyway, things are a lot better And we are back in the marital bed, BUT.. The 4.5 yr old just keeps getting up early (anything from 4.30 am) or as in the case of last night, comes through to us at 1am. We sent here back to bed but then both struggle to get back to sleep so tired and ratty this morning.

We are normally up at 6 am and DD does to bed around 7 pm so I do not feel that we are expecting her to sleep too long (she will be asleep in minutes in the car in the afternoon so i am sure she is not getting too much sleep).

Some of it is getting up to the loo in the night and not going straight back to sleep. My husband think she should know not to wake us up (goodness knows she has been told often enough).

we both are blaming her for our tiredness and lack of sleep and speaking crossly to her about it, but she is 4 and it washes over her.

I fear we will be back to seperate beds again soon and I don't think that is so good for us.

Please any stragegies for getting children to stay in bed?

bankofbigland Thu 15-Nov-12 16:53:36

yes i should have more time alone with her, yes you are right for me at any rate bl8dy hard with two 15 months apart, in a foreign country spending a lot of time on my own (weeps in pity for myself)

lolalotta Thu 15-Nov-12 16:56:55

Sorry didn't mean to offend by asking if you worked just trying to figure out if it was your attention she is craving or wether it's just a habit thing. You being a SAHM doesn't mean I think you deserve less sleep at all!!!! I'm one too and remember clearly how awful broken nights are and my DD us nearly 3!

lolalotta Thu 15-Nov-12 16:57:24

PLUS I only have one to look after!

bankofbigland Thu 15-Nov-12 17:41:09

sorry, the way i feel today i could take offense at anything smile

i just don't understand why she would want to do something that pi8es me and my husband off so much if she wants attention? why do something you know your parents don't like?

if she comes through after 6 am we cuddle her in bed, she is away from little sister who is still fast asleep, she is welcome at that time, just not earlier.

i think i have to try the stickers

bankofbigland Thu 15-Nov-12 17:41:40

i think it is habit

MrsB74 Thu 15-Nov-12 17:55:56

It will be habit, one of my twin girls was like this for a bit. Be firm and consistent, always putting her back in her own bed with as little interaction as possible. She will stop when she realises you really mean it - it may take a few nights. I never let them stay with us before 6.30, sometimes I have even put one of them back at 7 (at the weekend) and it can work if it's a dark morning! We also have the gro clock. Good luck

lolalotta Thu 15-Nov-12 18:07:50

I think it probably IS habit, though I have read that if a child feels like she/he isn't get enough one on one attention they will do whatever it takes to get that attention, wether it be of the negative or positive variety!

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