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Stressed out

(8 Posts)
wildwestapplepie Thu 04-Oct-12 22:57:06

I am very worried lately about myself. I used to be very patient, companionate and gentle person that could get along with just about everybody. Lately, I became bickering, grumpy, yelling, ?have no patience whatsoever?, picky, ?sweating the smallest stuff?, kind of person. Whole day long (while at work, away from my house and my kids) I keep telling myself, that today would be the day when I would turn the leaf and enter my house with a big smile on my face, I would not spend the evening scolding my kids and criticizing them for every little thing, I would not be getting all worked up over the staff my husband did not do, but left to me to do etc. However, as soon as I get through the door and kids start bombarding me with whining, questions and complaints I am back to my old self. Anybody else out there who wants to share.

mrsfuzzy Thu 04-Oct-12 23:44:52

not saying this is your answer but i used to suffer like this, moods up and down like a yoyo every few weeks, i went to the doctor and was finally diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar, am on meds now and remain well, you sound like you need a big hug, lots of t.l.c and a chat with your doc, please don,t accept the idea well, its life,life is busy if you cant cope in some aspects of you life you need verbal support, a helping hand to get you well again, you need to take care of yourself first and fore most. good luck.

YUNoSaySomethingNice Fri 05-Oct-12 00:05:59

I think you are describing me and my Jekyll and Hyde personality. I am a very calm and reasonable person but there is something about my wonderful and lovely DC's that used drive me crazy. They are now all older teens and I am back to my normal laid back self.
I used to find their bickering the most irritating, it always seemed so irrational and stupid and I never quite worked out how to stop them.
Sometimes I wonder how I would have coped if I had had DC's with behaviour issues.
I dealt with it by acknowledging that I wasn't a perfect Mum and that I didn't always have the answers and if I was a bit shouty/naggy some days so be it. Most the time I was a good Mum and most the time my DC's were good and that is good enough. We all get on well and are a very close family so I don't think my earlier occasional shouty'ness did any harm.
Keep aiming high and try and reign it in a bit but don't beat yourself up if you don't manage it.
It really does get much much easier when they are older.

Mumfortoddler Fri 05-Oct-12 00:23:25

YUNoSaySomethingNice and mrsfuzzy I feel just the same. I've always been known for my patient kind nature. Recently my 3.5 y/o DS has been winding me up something chronic by constantly insulting my family and other children @ preschool. I tell him off and he just doesn't listen. I've started blowing my top and feel like crap for it. DOH thinks I'm over reacting. Is it ok to blow our tops occasionally?

mrsfuzzy Fri 05-Oct-12 09:17:10

when i'm in a stressed mood, i put some effort into something i enjoy like gardening, on go the headphones with some fave music and off i go! i tell the family unless it is an dire emergency do not disturb me for at least 15/20 minutes, while i cool down, even going into my bedroom and shutting the door works. even doing some hand washing some clothles is good as i can take out the tension on unsuspecting dirty socks, and THAT does feel good, when all else fails i put the kettle on!

wildwestapplepie Fri 05-Oct-12 17:03:50

Wow, guys, I do not know. I am sure it is all just normal life. We are under so much pressure. I have a full time job and three kids, husband who helps a lot but works evenings so I am mostly home alone with kids, homework, afterschool activities, cooking, cleaning and whatever else needs to be done. I have many intersects and would love to have some time for myself but mostly I go to bed a little after my kids. No time for anything, so all this adds up.

YUNoSaySomethingNice Fri 05-Oct-12 17:44:59

You really do have a lot on your plate at the moment. It is hard not to wish away the time but it starts to get so much easier when the DC's get a bit older. They can still be irritating and there still be problems but it is not the same relentlessness that it is when they are little.
Are you able to get some help. Even a little help from a DG, a babysitter or getting a cleaner in for a few hours might make a big difference.
Have you looked into any other ways to make life a little less fraught. Maybe you could look at what afterschool activities your DC's do or let them go to a homework club. (?)

Ps. I really did like my DC's most the time! I make it sound like they were monsters which, on occasion, they were

wildwestapplepie Fri 05-Oct-12 22:08:36

Unfortunately no, I do not get much help from anyone except my DH but like I said, he works in the evenings which is when I need him the most. Money is also tight so I cannot afford paid help and my family does not live close. I love my kids to bits but we do fight a lot of the time, usually small stuff, I wish we spent more time in harmony. You know what I mean. ? Some nights I go to their bedrooms when they fall asleep and watch them sleep, or kiss them, enjoy some “quiet time” with them. Weird, right? It will pass, I know.. The time will come when I will miss the noise and laughter in the house, my mom tells me. For the time being, however, it is simply hard to manage everything and stay calm and sane.

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