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I do everything for both kids - how can he help?

(3 Posts)
jenrose29 Thu 04-Oct-12 10:54:33

I have a 5 year and 4 month old. Partner is step dad to 5 year old. DD1 wants me to brush her teeth, read her stories, do her homework with her etc in the evening too and I would like to while partner spends time with DD2. However, DD2 won't settle with him and so I often end up breastfeeding her while doing homework with DD1 and tucking baby under my arm while I help DD1 shower/brush her teeth etc. DD1 would compromise and let partner do things for her if I told her to, but then I wouldn't really see her at all. Partner often follows DD1 and I to bathroom etc with baby which I think is why she won't settle (as she can see me) and last night annoyed me as I was snuggled with DD1 reading and he bought a noisy toy right next to the bed and turned it on for baby, who cried for me and so interrupted DD1's stories. DD1 loves her sister and doesn't get annoyed by interruptions but I do end up doing everything alone and having to cut short things with DD1 to sort DD2 out, which I don't feel I should have to when partner is there. Any advice?

bbface Thu 04-Oct-12 11:01:39

I think you are being a little unfair. Sounds like your partner is trying.

And although you want help, you actually want to carry on all you are doing with dd1 because otherwise you won't see her.

Ok, he got it wrong with bringing the noisy toy, but give the guy a break.

And as for following you to the bathroom, have you tried suggesting gently to him that the baby finds this unsettling and maybe he should stay in the lounge. I think it is sweet he follows you into the bathroom. Bathtime can be a lovely family affair, my ds in the bath, my dh and I sitting on the floor chatting.

I don't mean, to be harsh, but I think this issue could be by easily resolved by you being gently honest with your partner, and understanding that this is his first baby and he might not always get it right (in your eyes at least)

jenrose29 Thu 04-Oct-12 11:04:45

It isn't his first baby, he has two other children of his own. It isn't a bath, it is a shower (which is quick by necessity to get ready for bed, not time to chat) and besides, once I take baby he leaves the bathroom and goes downstairs!

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