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what did your first born do when you were expecting your second?

(5 Posts)
goodstuffhappens Wed 03-Oct-12 19:48:07

I am due to give birth any day now. My DD has gone from being a VERY easy to be around little girl (smiled, laughed, ate well, went down well at night) into a very different child. She is throwing food, refusing to eat meals, wailing at bedtime and waking up about 2/3 times a night. If she doesn't wake in the night then she is waking in the morning at 530 to start the day. She is 20 months. Anyone think this is an emotional reaction to some sort of inkling of what's about rock her world?
It's making me really dread the second baby and I don't feel very connected or excited about her at all. Any advice GRATEFULLY received!

TIA

Happygirl77 Wed 03-Oct-12 19:57:16

I would expect that this is an anxiety response to the unknown of a new sibling. None of my 3 dc did this (that I can recall) but I imagine you will be less mobile and more preoccupied with baby things (I was!) and I expect everyone is asking your dd about getting a new baby! I would advise lots of patience and love so that she knows she needn't feel insecure and she won't be replaced.

I once read that for a child, being told "we live you so much we're going to have another baby" is like your dh telling you, "I love you so much, I'm going to get another wife"!

Marmiteisyummy Wed 03-Oct-12 22:31:09

Honestly, it sounds fairly typical 20m behaviour. I'd be surprised if your dd realises what's about to happen. She's just got to that rather tricky stage....no one tells you the terrible 2s start well before their 2nd birthday.
Also worth a quick check that molars aren't coming through.
Best of luck with your imminent arrival.

ch1110 Wed 03-Oct-12 22:44:54

Don't feel that way. The poor lamb is having her world turned around and attention being deviated to the 'new' arrival which she probably thinks is going to get more attention.
I've been through this before and you just need to enroll her and make her feel very important for the new baby. Let her help you change nappies and feed and don't critisize please as it will diminish her confidence for future life.
Get a special present for the new born to give to her. More importantly don't forget to hug her and kiss her goodnight more so than normal so that she knows that she is still so special to you. It's a juggling act - you can handle this, you're a mum!
You are a brilliant Mum! Hugs. xx

AngelDog Thu 04-Oct-12 21:48:56

20 months is in the middle of 'the mother of all developmental transitions' according to one developmental psychologist, so that may well be a big factor.

You can read about it here. It often causes sleep disturbances.

Hope it goes okay - I can sympathise as I'm 8 months pg, though my DS is older (2.8 yrs) so is much easier to deal with as I can explain so much more about what's going on.

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