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Anyone have a 3 year age gap between kids?

(57 Posts)
IWantToGoToThere Tue 02-Oct-12 20:36:14

I have a DS who will be 3.2 when my next DS is born in February. I had always imagined/wanted a gap of 2 years or so between two DC (we are stopping at 2) and in fact had everything gone to plan and I hadn't had a MMC this time last year, we would have had that gap.

I am so happy to be pregnant again and having another child, but I can't stop feeling that the age gap isn't ideal. I keep thinking that when DS2 will be 2, DS1 will be 5 and they won't really play together or get on in later life. DS1 is a very sociable child and loves playing with other kids his age (he is very boisterous and full of energy so is better at playing with kids his age who can match this) and I worry that by the time DS2 is old enough to 'play', DS1 won't want to or they won't have enough in common.

Does anyone else have a 3 year age gap between kids? Do they have a good relationship? Can anyone ease my anxieties about this?!


AuntySib Wed 03-Oct-12 22:05:23

Not a problem. I have nearly 3 years between the first two, and then a 5 year gap between DS2 & DS3. there were logistical problems when they were very small, swimming was a problem, but otherwise all good. They're now nearly 20, 17 and 11, and get on really well. DS1 &2 played together from a very young age and are each others best mates.

zipzap Wed 03-Oct-12 22:18:22

I would have loved an 18 month age gap (me and sis are 14 months apart) - ended up with a 3 year age gap, currently 7 and 4. And whilst ds1 and ds2 can be each other's best friend at times, they can go within moments to being best of enemies too.

ds1 is good at being gentle with ds2 most of the time, but he does also see himself as his 3 parent sometimes, so is quick to try to step in and tell him off if he thinks he is being naughty or upsets him! But he also likes to watch stuff on tv that's not suitable for ds2, some of which ds2 likes and ends up being a little whirling dangerous karate munchkin because he has seen it on tv, other times he doesn't like stuff and then there are arguments about what to watch. ds2 likes to try to keep up with his brother (doesn't help that he is naturally a late going to sleep kid, awake for much longer than ds1) and not as athletic so struggles with that side of things. Also means that ds2 is used to standing up for himself (and his big brother!) and doesn't hesitate to step in as hard as he can if necessary.

Downsides are also things like schools - they are at different schools (infant and junior) so for the next 3 years it's going to be horrid - a dash from one to the other for drop off and pick up (not such a big deal if you have a primary school) whereas if they were closer together in age it wouldn't be for so long.

however, there are a lot of siblings out there with a three year gap between them - I was really surprised because I always assumed that people would want them just over a year apart so they were at least in consecutive school years - I don't know that many people with a 2 year gap.

QuintessentialShadows Wed 03-Oct-12 22:19:21

Yes. And Yes. 3 Year Age gap is good.

lagartija Wed 03-Oct-12 22:46:15

I think it depends on their personalities. I have exactly that gap and they are now 17 months and 4 and a half and they love each other terribly.

Baaartimaeus Thu 04-Oct-12 13:44:48

"I guess I just need to let go the idea of the family I always imagined I'd have and look forward to the family I will have"

I can totally relate to this. I always wanted to copy what my parents had as it worked so well. It wasn't until I was pregnant that I realised that I can't control what happens.

dippywhentired Thu 04-Oct-12 16:55:45

2years and 8 months between my DDs, love each other to bits and play very well together (now 5 and 2). Exactly 3 years between my sister and me, have always been very close. Enjoy!

BeaWheesht Thu 04-Oct-12 16:57:44

There are 3y9m between mine - a boy and then a girl. They are now two and five and adore each other

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