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Do i have the right as a mother to challenge if my daughter is re-questioned?

(4 Posts)
smiles007 Sat 29-Sep-12 17:22:16

Dilemna, in short, can i insist that my 4 yr old daughter is re-questioned regarding an alleged disclosure she apparently made to my ex's new partner about her 12 year old brother?
My ex has always made it obvious that he wants his daughter with him even though in the beginning he insisted on a dna test to csa, whilst still having access. I could have stopped this until test was done, but did not. Eventually he opted not to go ahead with test as it was going to cost him money.
My ex who is a playworker in a childrens centre has recently moved in with his new partner who is a support worker and has in the past done work with myself and my son.
Both these people know that over the years i have had problems with my son, but they also know that i have done my absolute best to get advice and support to help with things. This has not always been easy and sometimes i have had to do self-referrals.
I believe they are both putting words into my daughters mouth and convincing her that her brother is nasty and naughty. I believe the reason for doing it, is to use it against me to apply for custody.
My son was interviewed accordingly and only had my partner and duty solicitor sit in with him. He denied everything, but social services work on statistics and probablility. Can i challenge this?
They are saying my daughter cannot and will not be questioned again, and i will have to accept, we may never get to the truth.
This is so damaging and i cannot believe this is allowed to happen.
I suggested to her dad that we try and get to the bottom of it, as her parents we need to find out what might be really happening to her. He was very hostile and shouted to me, that no one, not me, not him, or anyone would be questioning her again.
My argument on this, is if it was his son, being accused, his attitude would be different.
My concern is my daughter, i have been having sleepless nights and nightmares thinking that if it's not happened from this end, then is it happening there.
As he has parental responsibilty, he has opted to keep my daughter, and i have had to go to solicitor to get access, even though Social worker said he had to make sure i still got to see her, as i've not done anything wrong.
This is such a short version of events, and cannot convey our character and honesty, but i believe, my ex has done this in spite to gain his daughter especially now he has moved in with a partner who is a support worker. Between them, they know the law and what happens, and they will know that, my daughter cannot be questioned, so therefore they get away with it.
I have been left, in the dark, with no immediate support for myself or my son, while the social worker allocated went off on her 10 day hols.
Not fantastic, due to my son having high anxiety levels anyway, and me just being a mother to two children who i felt that i was taking good care of. They really are never on their own. In fact my partner always jokes when he comes, as he says, i see the ambilical cord is still attached then!!!
The question is, who is right? Social Services and my ex, saying she should not be questioned?
My daughter is quite willful and does not take any crap from anyone, and in fact does her best to wind her brother up.
She has told me, she wants to come back to live and sleep and that she is not afraid of me or her brother.

Thumbwitch Sat 29-Sep-12 17:28:06

Sounds like a very dodgy situation - the fact that your ex's GF has prior knowledge of your situation with your DS should surely cause some alarm bells to ring in the system, shouldn't it?

I take it that your DS is not your ex's son?

Does rather sound as though your ex is manipulating the situation to get his own way - but I don't know how you safeguard against that, sorry. sad

Hope you get your daughter back with you.

smiles007 Sat 29-Sep-12 21:33:15

Thanks Thumbwitch, I am concerned that they are manipulating things, and am powerless to prove or do much.
Have spent many hours in the last month looking for web sites to get info, and trying to find out from friends who i can turn too. Not much luck.
Have to wait till Tuesday when i have been told i will get a copy of the report that Social worker is doing as to risk assesement etc.
The only consolation is i got in touch with a local minister who does a lot of good work in the community with the homeless etc, and he's also a school chaplain, and he has said, that it's true, these professionals do need challenging.

Thumbwitch Sun 30-Sep-12 01:48:29

Have you tried posting in Legal as well? might get some more useful advice over there - and if you want more traffic, you could always risk AIBU...

Glad your local minister is helpful - and hope that he can direct you to someone more helpful in RL if necessary.

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