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DS (2.7) wont interact with other children

(7 Posts)
IWillOnlyEatBeans Tue 25-Sep-12 13:50:10

DS is 2.7. Even from a young age, he has not enjoyed being around other children - although I have persisted and taken him to baby/toddler groups regularly as well as music classes, story and rhyme times etc, etc. We have attended the same groups regularly so the settings and children become familiar over time.

He has recently started at a little playschool - two hrs per day, two days per week. He is upset when I drop him off (as are some of the other children, so I guess this is normal) and is all smiles when I pick him up.

However, the teachers have mentioned that he spends most of the session asking them for cuddles or just holding their hands. He does venture off on his own occasionally, but whenever another child comes up to him to chat or play, he gets really upset and cries.

He develops great relationships with adults and has a really good rel with his older cousins (age 6 and 8).

I was just wondering if anyone else had experienced something similar and how you helped your DC overcome their fear/reluctance? It's definitely not through lack of exposure to other children as we have an activity or playdate every day!

IWillOnlyEatBeans Tue 25-Sep-12 13:56:24

I should have said - when I take him to toddler groups, he is happy to play as long as I am within arms reach and he will play with/alongside other children as long as I am beside him to sort of 'guide him through' what is happening. When I am chatting to other mums/sitting having a cuppa then he is right beside me. I obviously encourage him to go off and play and explore but he wont and I wont/cant force him...

minceorotherwise Tue 25-Sep-12 14:01:43

He just sounds shy and cautious to me. Pretty normal for that I age. If he's just started at a pre school, give him a bit of time, you are not there and he will probably start to get a bit more confident as he won't have you as a fall back option

littlebluechair Tue 25-Sep-12 14:03:32

Agree don't worry too much, very common at this age. If he is still like it in a year, it could be a concern.

AngelDog Tue 25-Sep-12 19:40:56

My 2.8 y.o. DS is the same, except he doesn't cry when other children approach him, but shouts, "Get rid of that boy! Go over there! Take him away! Put him in the bin!"

He won't be left with any adult other than DH, me or the grandparents though, so with him it applies to adults as well.

He does interact with adults when I'm there to help, and will play kind-of-with other children as long as either DH or I are there to mediate things.

I think it's common at this age - I understood it was only from age 3 + that many children start interacting with others.

CatL Tue 25-Sep-12 20:58:03

Reading this with interest as he sounds EXACTLY like my DD (2.9). She loves one-to-one adult attention from adults she knows, and has no interest in playing with other children - she doesn't really seem to know how to cope with them and looks worried / runs to us /tells them to go away etc if they approach her. She is a little less tense around a small number of my friend's children we see often, but still doesn't really know how to be around them and needs guidance. She also isn'tgreat with playing on her own - trips to soft play or toddler groups are just as you have described.

She has also jsut started a play group 2 x 3 hour sessions a week and cries / tells us she doesn;t like it etc. She isn't alwayssmiling when we pick her up either! As far as I can gather from staff, she has jsut attached herself to one member of staff and wants him to look after her / play with her / give her attention at all times.

So no advice really, just reassurance others are in the same boat (and I have been really worried about it too).

LOL at Angeldog - my Dd has also announced loudly that she wants other children to go away, but not so far that they should go in the bin!

IWillOnlyEatBeans Tue 25-Sep-12 21:07:13

Thanks - reassuring to know that others are experiencing similar. CatL my DS sounds like he behaves in a similar way, attaching himself to the adults. They seemed quite charmed by it at first, but I think the novelty may be wearing off as it will obviously hamper their ability to deal with the other children.

I talked to DS about it when we were having a cuddle this afternoon. His main issues seemed to be that other children at playschool touched him, shouted near him and took his toys. So all quite normal toddler behaviour really. Maybe I need to act more toddler-like at home to get him used to it!

Angeldog - smile at your DS wanting to put the other children in the bin. DS has not asked for that yet, but I think it's probably just a matter of time...

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