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23m DD really upset/angry lately

(12 Posts)
Littleraysofsunshine Tue 25-Sep-12 11:28:59

He's usually a very happy and contet little girl. I've noticed her molar teeth coming through so his may be added problem.

But dinner times have been a complete horror, usually a joy. Nap times all out of sync, as in she usually loves one, but when she doesn't she is so over tired, angry, and refuses to listen. Only the past few weeks on and off she does this.

I try distraction, soft speaking, calm but it never works. Which results in me shouting, her still not listening bad starts gettin in an angry crying mode. She's never done this. I hate shouting and having to move her away from certain situations, I don't want to have to shout or for her to end up fearing me because I shout. I want her to listen out of respect not fear.

I also have a 17 week old, and been parenting alone since December due to difficult situation on our family. Dp returns next week though

Feeling rather like a crap mum ;-(

matana Tue 25-Sep-12 12:49:47

Tbh i think that refusing to listen is probably very common in a 23 mo. My DS can be the most obedient child on a good day, but most of the time he's pushing boundaries and beginning to express his likes and dislikes very clearly. Which seems pretty normal to me and actually amuses me immensely. I love to see him developing that 'independent'/ defiant streak.

The anger you describe is also quite normal around that age, but yes it's probably exacerbated by teething molars. They're painful and i know that i'm not usually at my best when i'm in pain. As my DH can testify during the birth of my DS.

Don't feel like a crap mum, you're not at all though i do know how you feel. Nothing you do seems right, nothing seems to calm them and they have a knack of getting under your skin and bringing out the less than perfect side of you. Just do your best to stay patient while continuing to gently provide the boundaries, that's all you can do until the phase passes. I've seen an abundance of similar threads on here lately about people's 22/23mo DCs so you are not alone in feeling like a crap mum!

Littleraysofsunshine Tue 25-Sep-12 13:32:41

Today's been horrible. She had a nap but woke up even worse. Crying. Pulling away. Angry mode. It's really upsetting me where sea never like thissadsad

Littleraysofsunshine Tue 25-Sep-12 13:34:50

She doesn't want lunch or drink or anything.

littlebluechair Tue 25-Sep-12 13:37:12

At the risk of coming over a bit woo have you tried saying to her 'ssh, ssh, I can see your angry/upset, it's ok, I'm here, I'm listening'. I found that really calmed my DS down.

Babies and toddlers are humans, humans have emotions, emotions are hard to process. You can't stop your child feeling emotions but you can help them understand them or just be with them while they feel upset.

You're not a bad mum for having a kid who feels sad or angry at times - this is normal.

What sort of things are you shouting at her to do - do they really matter?

littlebluechair Tue 25-Sep-12 13:37:44

I would just say 'It's ok, we can have lunch later' and just have a cuddle tbh.

Littleraysofsunshine Tue 25-Sep-12 20:16:10

It took her about 30 minutes to calm down, I was very calm with her, hugged her and told her its ok. She called me in the end and said mummy cuddle again and then we had lunch and des been her usual delightful self this afternoon.

Poor little mite has so much ping on, teething, missing her daddy etc.

I ended up shouting earlier because she was emptying stuff out the cupboards and I asked her a few times not to in a quiet tone but it just doesn't work some times....

These molar teeth are a beast with their emotions aren't they. Must be painful.

She's probably sensing my anxieties too sometimes.

butterfingerz Tue 25-Sep-12 20:33:22

My 16 month old DS has his first molar coming through and is extremely angry and agitated, he's been ill too with a really bad cold. I remember my DD always used to get ill around teething time... it's so difficult.

Have you been giving calpol or ibuprofen or both? Try some bongela too, though it's not brilliant as it wears off but I'd just throw everything at it tbh. My DS is a master at refusing medicine so we're stuck with the grumpiness for now!

Littleraysofsunshine Wed 26-Sep-12 07:29:26

I sometimes do bonjela, haven't oven calpol for a while so ill give that a go of it happens today. In the space of six weeks she's had three molars, and another cutting through now and its rather I think it may be the reason. Well a big factor of it all...

Littleraysofsunshine Wed 26-Sep-12 08:55:24

And he fun begins again today.

I really don't know what's happened heaven past three days

Shes a state

matana Wed 26-Sep-12 09:30:14

Have you tried teething powders? I was never really sure if they worked until one night DS woke up screaming in pain and nothing could calm him. I had already given him Calpol. My DH suggested a teething powder and i just snorted at him dismissively. Anyway, i gave him one and five minutes later he was happily snoring in his cot again. Might be worth a try. Also what littlebluechair said. DS seems to get over tantrums and moods much quicker when i'm able to give him words that describe his strong emotions and speak soothingly to him. Pretty much the only time i raise my voice is if he either does something dangerous or hurts someone. The rest of it is cajoling and compromise.

Littleraysofsunshine Fri 05-Oct-12 13:21:37

She's still like it. All this week she's been so upset/ angry, not listening, HATING. Eating

I'm so upset sad

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