What's for lunch today? Take inspiration from Mumsnetters' tried-and-tested recipes in our Top Bananas! cookbook - now under £10Find out more
Too young to cry it out?(119 Posts)
I'm mum to a 5 week old DB. Luckily our sleep in the night isn't too bad - he goes down straight after bath and bottle but during the day, he refuses to sleep. He will start to yawn and I take him to his room where I try to put him down but as soon as the head touches the sheet, he screams! Even if he has fallen asleep on me and I put him down, he wakes within a few minutes. I know 'crying it out' is suggested for much older babies but as soon as I lift him, he's fine and stops crying. I can't get anything done as I'm constantly lifting him! Is this something just to deal with or can I just leave him to cry? I'm confident hes not hungry or wet or anything else is obviously wrong, it just seems he has got me round his little finger and I'm scared he'll get into bad habits if we don't break them now! All suggestions welcome!
He is far too young to CIO!
Why don't you just cuddle him when he wants it, he doesn't have you "wrapped around his finger" he's a tiny baby who wants his mum!
Firstly, please don't worry about 'bad habits' at this age. He is tiny, until recently he lived inside you, and he needs his mum to feel secure. That is normal - leaving him is not. Get a good sling and carry him around for a few weeks.
Of course you can't leave him to cry! He's just a tiny baby who needs his mum. Enjoy holding him, go out with the pram while he naps, get a sling, nap with him - this time goes by so quickly,don't wish it away. He's much to young to form habits,bad or otherwise.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Any baby is too young to CIO!
He's supposed to have you wrapped round his little finger- he doesn't have any wants that aren't also needs at this age. Pick him up. Cuddle him. Make him feel secure and loved and happy and safe. Those are really good habits to get into!
If possible get comfy with drinks snacks etc and tv remote to hand and hold him while he sleeps, they are only like this for a short time. If you need to put him down to do jobs or be with older dcs take out in pram to get off and leave him in there? Lots of people use slings, I never did. Ds is 9 months and we used to hold him when tiny or lay him on sofa and block him in so he would be ok if we needed to get up, not leaving the room though. We now cuddle to sleep and put him to bed and he goes down ok. How about a sleeping bag so he stays cosy when laying him down?
He's not got you round his little finger - he is not some villian trying to exploit you. He is a tiny little person who was part of you a few weeks ago. It is bloody annoying and exhausting, I know, we've been there. Best thing you can do is change your attitude.
He loves you and feels safe being close to you. Also his stomach is still tiny so may need feeding very frequently.
Don't worry about bad habits, they change their ways all the time. And don't worry about getting things done, most stuff can wait in reality.
DS did this, he loved to snooze in somebody's arms, but not on his own in bed. He's my second, and probably last, so I've thoroughly enjoyed cuddling up on the couch with him and having a nice cuddle.
Get yourself some nice DVDs, pour yourself a good drink, and get comfy on the couch with your baby. It'll pass naturally after a few months, and then you'll wish these lovely quiet times would come back.
Ha! Welcome to parenthood
I have a 9 year old and a 12 week old.
12 week old doesn't sleep longer than 40 minutes all day and not all in one go (!!!) ... And wakes up ready to start the day at 3am lovely! (Not)!
You can't leave a 5 week old to cry it out. Personally I don't agree with cio at all anyway, controlled crying 6 months plus if you must.
You'll just have to basically not do housework (!), use a sling if you must, sit and watch loads of tv with baby permanently attached to you and gradually introduce a play gym at about 8 weeks plus so they have something to look at... My ds will entertain himself under that for a while now.
What do you need to do that can be done with baby in a sling?
Hi I did CIO with my DS when he was 5 months ish, maybe slightly earlier and it worked wonderfully to get him to go down for sleep and to learn to self settle but 5 weeks really is too young.
At this age just rock him to sleep & perservere, cuddle him & enjoy it. At 5 weeks I don't think you can do too much for them & they are certainly too young for rods/backs/manipulation etc.
What's obviously wrong is that he wants his mum. Which is perfectly reasonable at that age, he was inside you for 9 months and has only been out a few weeks!
Don't worry about "spoiling him" (as some old biddy said to me about a similarly aged DS). 5 weeks is too young to form bad habits, spoil, or indeed cry it out.
I never used a sling inside, but carried DS in my arms or over my shoulder a lot at this age. He also liked a rocking crib to settle in, if that's something you could try?
If you must do something (your baby sounds like it is doing what comes naturally to be honest). Read 'The Baby Whisperer' who gives some very logical advice and techniques to help.
But please, please don't do CIO until older... if at all.
I'm 31 and too young to cio. Leaving any age baby to cry alone is deplorable. Do you perhaps mean controlled crying? I wouldn't do this either, but it's a very different thing to cio.
A 5 week old does NOT know they're separate from you. This isn't woo bollocks. It's fact. They don't understand. If they can't hear, smell or feel you then they feel bereft. And you hold them, it regulates their breathing, their temp. It helps security, it teaches them you are a responsive carer. Please don't leave your tiny baby to be scared and alone.
Get a sling, put the baby in it and get on that way. It passes. And too soon imo.
Yes he's far too young, and even when he's older CIO is not the only way.
For now, he's still learning how to be in the big wide world and needs only your comfort - let him nurse to sleep or sleep in a sling or in a pram where the rocking motion will soothe him.
We used the techniques described in "The Baby Whisperer" from about 3 months and that involves teaching the baby to self-settle without having to cry it out. You could posibly start as early as 9 or 10 weeks with a gentler-than-CIO method like this.
Like fairylea said, "welcome to parenthood"!
I understand your concerns and with my first I literally hardly ever put him down. He was bf, then slept on me. (during the day)
Best thing to do is get a brew, sandwich, magazine, phone, remote control all in reaching distance and enjoy the cuddles.
I'm a bit of a house proud ditherer and it took some getting used to knowing there was dishes to clean, washing to be done, hoovering etc
But at the end of the day, he's never been without you and he's bound to hate it. In a few more weeks he'll sit happily in a chair and watch you get on with some housework for a while. (or wash and dress as it was in my case)
Relax, new baby to care for takes presidency over everything. The first two months are the hardest to adjust to, but you'll get a routine soon and miss the chance of sitting, resting enjoying a snuffle with your newborn.
My ds was exactly the same and I had a lot of people saying to leave him to cry but I didn't do it. Give it another few weeks and he'll hopefully sleep longer.
How would you like it if you were crying, and DH, friend, DM or whoever, left you to "cry it out"?
Your baby depends on you for everything, including emotional needs.
I wouldn't use CIO at any age I'm afraid.
My friend used it on her 12 week old baby
I have two and looking at my second child, I can't believe how young she seems even at 9 months. At 5 weeks they've barely blinked and seen the world.
It's very very (and very..) normal for a baby of this age to only sleep in their mums lap/ arms/ sling/ possibly the buggy. They don't want to be separate from you - I promise you this will pass. I thought it would last forever - but think about it, they can't see very far. So they are terrified when you put them down.
At about 6 - 8 weeks they can start seeing further, they will lie under a mobile and gaze at it - so you can often put them down for a bit then - as they get older they will be able to play with soft toys/ rattles etc in a cot and will fall asleep if they are tired, without you holding them.
It happens in its own time - there is no point forcing it - give the baby cuddles and time - and in time, the baby will learn, at his/ her own pace, how to settle without you - I didn't do anything in particular to make my baby settle on his own, just as he got a bit older and was more content to lie and play/ look at stuff I would leave him down there and he began to fall asleep when tired.....
enjoy the rest of having a sleeping baby in your lap...its such a short time ...
This is normal for such a little baby. My dd slept on me until she was about 4 months during the day but went down okay at night. I think the best thing to do is to get yourself comfy with a drink, a snack and the tv remote and enjoy the cuddles. xx
Join the discussion
Please login first.