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Broken hearted over my DS

(939 Posts)
DistressedMumHELP Wed 29-Aug-12 22:09:20

Okay, i want help and reassurance really. I have name changed for this in case anyone recognises me. I was stopped and asked for an account of events yesterday after witnessing an altercation and the police officer noticed the bruise on my little boys cheek. Which i explained was where he had fallen in between the step and bench in my garden, they then noticed he has bruises on his legs around his knees, so eventually they arrested me on suspicion of ABH. I was of course a mess, but i was told at the time that it was procedure etc, so i was compliant with them, Last night i got released on police bail and was of course expecting my little boy back, but today after seeing social services they have said i cant have him returned to me. I am heart broken, i have never hurt my child on purpose, and i look after him as best as possible. Originally they were saying he didnt talk, but today in front of the social worker he was talking, and i am trying to explain that he gets shy about talking, when they say he is friendly etc. They went through all my history and i have been as open as possible with them, and i dont know what to do. They want to keep him in care and are applying for a court order on friday to do so. I plan on seeing a solicitor tomorrow, the only reason i didnt today was because i didnt leave the social services until half 5 so no where was open.


I want him home. Does anyone have any experiences? How long will it take? They said they couldnt say,

BellaOfTheBalls Wed 29-Aug-12 22:37:30

I really hope your DS is OK.

I do think there may be a little more to this though. I have 2 boys and would have been arrested countless times by now if this was the case. 2 Christmases ago DS1 had a massive bruise on his head and another in the opposite cheek and our GP laughed it off with" boys will be boys". An admission of PND does not always equal the assumption that you would hurt your child, please don't think that.

How old is your DS?

WorraLiberty Wed 29-Aug-12 22:37:46

Can you just clarify something please OP?

How long after the Police noticed the bruise on his face, did they arrest you?

oneandnomore Wed 29-Aug-12 22:39:55

Family members are approached/asked to come forward, but they need to be assessed and prepared which can take a while. I think the procedures vary area to area.
It is something for you to consider OP, in case the court order is granted on Friday.

DistressedMumHELP Wed 29-Aug-12 22:39:59

I wasnt involved in the fight, i just saw what had happened, the other person had a knife and they of course needed to find out what had happened. I was arrested for suspicion of assaulting my son. WHICH I NEVER HAVE. He has never been smacked. I dont grab him hard at all, but i bruise very easily as well, i am always covered in bruises and i never know where they come from.

TheEnthusiasticTroll Wed 29-Aug-12 22:40:45

Cookie an over zelouse police officer may spark enquiries or even an investigation, however that would not explain why the child seen by other professionals would remain in care, if this was simply a case of explainable bruising and past PND. The child has been examined by other proffessionals so i would sugest there are very real and relevent concerns of imediate harm. Op im sorry you are going through this you really must get legal advice. Im not saying mistakes have never happened they do happen, however i can also tell you when they do incases like this it is mostly down to abiguous evidance. You must be very honest when you seek any legal advice.

FutTheShuckUp Wed 29-Aug-12 22:40:54

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AnyFucker Wed 29-Aug-12 22:41:25

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SirBoobAlot Wed 29-Aug-12 22:41:45

Posting on MN is not going to help, especially not in AIBU. And not if you're drip feeding half story.

Seek legal advice asap.

maras2 Wed 29-Aug-12 22:41:58

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fluffacloud Wed 29-Aug-12 22:42:07

It sounds like a terrible situation OP and I am sorry that you and you DS are having to go through it.

In order to have a child taken into protection the Police must believe that they have evidence to suggest that the child is in serious and or immediate danger. The protection order, must be authorised by a senior officer once they have been given a full account of the circumstances.

These laws are put in place to ensure child safety and while it must be hugely stressful for you and your DS they will, after a full investigation, do what is best for him.

lisad123 Wed 29-Aug-12 22:42:21

So you have a history with SS because of previous concerns of ex being abusive.
You were in the street with your son when a group of adults were being abusive and threatening in front of your ds.
He is covered in bruises and clearly you lost it with the police and then wonder why they took ds. Clearly they took him because of concerns of him witnessing very unsuitable behaviour and took him to keep him safe and then the bruises added to concerns sad

gordyslovesheep Wed 29-Aug-12 22:42:38

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Jinsei Wed 29-Aug-12 22:43:03

I too agree with lovebunny, I am very sorry that you and your little boy are in this situation, OP, no matter what has led up to it. Do you have good RL support around you?

FallenCaryatid Wed 29-Aug-12 22:43:13

So the best outcome you can hope for is that your son's several injuries are categorised as accidental, and that the SW team continue to work with you, including enabling you to learn strategies for managing him and handling him that don't leave him bruised.

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot Wed 29-Aug-12 22:43:16

There is stuff your not saying.

BellaVita Wed 29-Aug-12 22:43:26

I have reported.

DistressedMumHELP Wed 29-Aug-12 22:43:30

About half hour after they noticed, they chatted to me about him. They have now got all my notes from social services in the past, and my GP and Health visitor but they have had no concerns.

Purple2012 Wed 29-Aug-12 22:43:52

So, when are you going back to the police? How long do you have to wait to find out what's happening?

SamuelWestsMistress Wed 29-Aug-12 22:44:28

I bruise just by looking at hard surfaces. My mum said she'd often get daggers from other parents when I was a child because I was covered in bruises!

FrankWippery Wed 29-Aug-12 22:45:06

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PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot Wed 29-Aug-12 22:47:12

Children are not taken into care if there are no concerns.

It's a last last resort.

There must be something your not telling us, you need legal help.

BellaOfTheBalls Wed 29-Aug-12 22:47:37

Agree with troll

From the safeguarding I have done if your son has been seen by several professionals and remains in the care of SS then there must be a concern. A lot of emphasis is being out on safeguarding at the minute, and on more communication between particularly between different groups e.g HVs, SS, Police etc. so it may be that you are an unfortunate case where somebody has jumped to conclusions but please, don't assume this to be what has happened here. You need to speak to a legal professional sharpish.

CookieRookie Wed 29-Aug-12 22:47:58

TET didn't think it very likely, just trying to find sense where there doesn't seem to be any.

larks35 Wed 29-Aug-12 22:48:08

OP, taking you at face value (ie what you have told us here) I truely hope this is just a case of an over-zealous policeman and SS following up in a proper way, I imagine that when they have Police referrals the rules are a bit different to general public concerns.

I think you should get legal advice first thing tomorrow.

If all you say is true, I feel so bad for you sad. I hope justice prevails and your son ends up safely back with you.

Also though did the knife-brandishing person who racially abused your friend get arrested too?

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 29-Aug-12 22:48:20


We've had a look and have no reason to think the OP isn't who and what she says she is.

Posting aggressive responses on a thread like this is pretty beyond the pale. If you think something's up, report it. (Thanks to those who did.)


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