Are you a fun parent?(33 Posts)
I am so upset after a little cat with my dd who said i wasn't fun like Daddy!
It really hit a chord as this is something i sort of already knew.
I am a good parent, people comment on how good the kids are(blowing my own trumpet), the kids know they are loved, lots of kisses and cuddles.
But somehow i have turned into the parent i never thought i'd be! My DH(big kid) comes home and throws them around and chases them and plays with them,the house fills with screams and giggles and always feel like the meany saying "come on bed time" ect.
There doesn't seem enough time in the day for me to do all the mummy jobs for example,school runs,play dates, cleaning house,cooking tea for me to have fun too? Am i stuck in a rut or do we naturally fall into these roles?
My friend and I recently had this discussion. We came to the agreement it really doesn't matter if the dishes are left for a day or two of the week, when you can play and join in with them. She noticed similar to your partner while hers has been off (teacher) for the school hols. She was amazed at how many games he thought up that she had never done, despite being a SAHM, purely because she was too busy cleaning/cooking etc while looking after her DD.
I think we all are guilty of it - we need to get things done obv - but maybe you could make a point of having one morning a week where you paint with them/get muddy etc to show them you aren't just their cleaner and cook!
The physically hard bit was when I was married. Once dc are school age they are easy. I am at the rebellious teen stage, where bribary, consequences, reasoning etc do not work, nothing works till the unreasonable teen hormones calm and they think through and realise they were ott. It would be nice to have someone back up what I am saying as teens can be very daft, whilst thinking they know it all.
I am the best at Lego play station games
I think we're equal because though I have to deal with more shit my dh can be prone to grumpy selfishness
The thing with my DD is when its back to school you have even less time to do fun things, when they are toddlers its easier , i had more time, but after school its gymnastics, swimming, friends round, homework,tea,bath,bed! But maybe one night a week i should dedicate to play? I do find it easier with DS as i have him with me most days, unless i'm at work. Maybe i'm just better at the toddler age? I really worry that i'll lose my bond with DD if i don't get some quality time together.
Phase one did commence today, we collected pine cones and leaves for an art project for tomorrow!
I worry about this a lot but I am so focused on structuring things that I find it hard to ease off - need to learn to, much nicer life for all of us if I can suss this.
I dont think i am fun but then again if I am honest I am not a traditionally "fun" person in general. I have hobbies which I like and I enjoy life but Im never going to be life and soul of the party or rushing about going down slides etc. Thats just not me and never has been. I have fun with my kids but not fun I have to force the children seem to just like who I am (at least I hope!).
I am naturally a little bit naughty (but just a little bit - I have a serious job!). We do have routines (not strict ones) and expect good manners, but DC also know (and enjoy) that I have a naughty side.
I do work nearly full time during the week (and have cleaner so dont have to spend weekends catching up on housework etc), so I do wonder if it is easier to come across as fun to the DC if you are not at home with them all the time with responsibility for the more munane day to day stuff with them.
I get DH to do bedtime too, that way he can have the fun and games but he also has to end it and settle DD for bed. if he overstimulates her then he gets the consequences!
You need time for fun with them, but he also needs to do some of the not-so-fun stuff to even it out.
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