I'd love my son to share my passion. What to do?(9 Posts)
You have a passion, say a sport, and you would love to share it with your son (or daughter). How much do you 'push' it, or do you wait and hope your child chooses to develop the same interest as you? I know how much I benefited from sharing a passion for cricket with my Dad. My older son's interest in the game has ebbed and flowed and now hangs in the balance. What have you done in this situation? Read a bit about my experience on Declaration Game:
I haven't properly read the blog but I get the sense that it's just possible you really really love your cricket.
Push him and make it an issue and nag him and he will hate you for it, he'll hate cricket and it will sour your relationship. If you're lucky, he'll be sucked in by your enthusiasm and all will be well. If he goes his own way and decides he likes football or gaming or chess or Morris dancing, you'll still be lucky because you'll know that your son is a strong individual with his own sense of priorities and interests. And that's a good thing.
The important thing is that parents and children do things together .... doesn't matter what. My DS is interested in all things engineering-related so we're often to be found at steam railways, museums, etc. even they wouldn't be my first choice. I love music and theatre so we do that as well even though it's probably not his first choice. We both love travel. We both hate football.
Why not find out what your son is interested in and join him rather than making fatherhood such a one-way street?
I'd say that you can introduce but never insist.
Cogito makes a vey good suggestion - why don't you join him in a passion of his instead? That way you are still keeping the bond but putting less pressure on a growing lad.
We have realised that there is no way we are going to get ds to share our love of nature or medieval history- so we take it in turns to go to football matches instead. Dh and I have always been bored stiff by team sports but I am learning for ds' sake.
Occasionally ds does have to come on family outings but we are careful not to judge the quality of our relationship by how much he enjoys a medieval wall painting.
Dd and I otoh share a great love of literature and the theatre; now that is fine, but I don't want anyone to think that our relationship is therefore better than mine and ds'. Least of all do I want ds to think so.
Expose him to different things and allow him to choose his own loves.
Cory nature and medival history? Can I come on your family outings please? I love a wall painting.
Are you really interested in our opinions or do you just want more traffic for your blog? .
Cricket is a really hard game to love, you know. Cut him a bit of slack and find a common ground you can both enjoy. Maybe he will introduce you to something you never even thought of.
DH loves cricket. DS1 loves cricket a lot. DS2 is completely uninterested. DS2 doesn't like anything that I like either apart from those hilarious gadget catalogues where they sell you a radio egg boiler (or something like that).
When DS1 was young he likes trains so I learnt how a steam engine worked (great). DS2 likes history so we took him to draughty castles and places where people recreate battles in historical costumes.
You have to go with it. If they like what you like you are v lucky. If not, that's part of being a parent. I could never like cricket under any circumstances.
Thank you all for your thoughts. In my deeds I don't think I'm too great a distance from your encouragement to let my son choose his direction and show support for it. In my hopes.. perhaps a little further away.
Merrylegs, I would love more traffic to my blog and thought the post may have some broader (than cricket fanatic) interest, so brought it here as I'm interested in others' opinions. I'm a first timer here, so if my plugging of my blog was wrong or crude, let me know.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.