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when is it best time to leave a baby for 1.5 weeks??

(15 Posts)
thinkingwhattodotoday Tue 25-Oct-11 17:51:59

In the next year I will need to leave my baby to go abroad for a short time. My parents are looking after her. I have some say in the timing - I was wondering what age will cause her least distress/(harm??<I really hope not>)
I could go anytime btw 15mths and 2yrs. does anyone have experiene o f this? how did the bnby fare ? what age is best??

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 25-Oct-11 18:18:02

My DS was about 20mo when I went on a business trip for 2 weeks and left him with his grandparents. He was used to me not being there 24/7 by that stage, however, because he spent most days with a CM and my parents often babysat. Really pleased to see me when I got back and I don't remember any ill-effects at all.

thinkingwhattodotoday Tue 25-Oct-11 18:56:40

thank you - so would you say I should wait, the older the better?

LemonDifficult Tue 25-Oct-11 18:59:05

Do you need to go to hospital? Or abroad?

I only ask because if it's hospital then you're 'sort of' on hand in an emergency then you might be able to go in sooner, but if it's abroad then you might want to wait til your DC is more robust and has maybe spent a few nights away already.

belindarose Tue 25-Oct-11 19:01:32

My dd is just over two and would love to stay alone with her grandparents now, so maybe the closer to two the better. She'd have been impossible at any age up to maybe 22 months.

An0therName Tue 25-Oct-11 19:13:38

I would say nearer 2 years would be good - that said I could imagine if necessy leaving my 20 mo for that amount of time - but not at 15 months - and agree if they are used being left - ideally with whoever is caring for them - and the odd overnight before then it will be much easier

thinkingwhattodotoday Tue 25-Oct-11 19:19:22

thank you. I am going to india -it's a work thing that I really need to go over for at some point. I also considered taking her with me but scared that she might get food poisoning or something. (also I would have to take the GP to look after her anyway so more expense)

Octaviapink Tue 25-Oct-11 19:41:40

I think the older the better - apart from anything else the older she is the more comprehension she has and will understand when you explain that you're going away for a little while.

Blackpuddingbertha Tue 25-Oct-11 20:36:02

We left DD1 with her GPs for a week when she was 18 months. She was very used to being there as my mum had them one day a week since they were tiny to save on childcare costs. She'd also done occasional over nights with them and I think this helped. We also called every day and spoke to her on the phone (not sure how practical that would be from India though). DD2 stayed with GPs for a week at 2.3 and I think this was harder as she was old enough to think she was missing out.

acrunchieandacupoftea Tue 25-Oct-11 21:03:28

Could she stay with the other parent?
My DS stayed with grandparents at 2 yrs and really pined for me and his dad.

thinkingwhattodotoday Tue 25-Oct-11 21:22:49

Thanks for replies (so many different opinions on whether earlier or later is better - at least no one thinks it's long term harmful which was worrying me). (My dh is working too long hours to make leaving with him work. it'd just be too much of a logistical nightmare.)

BertieBotts Tue 25-Oct-11 21:33:34

I probably couldn't have done it at that age - would struggle to now and DS is 3. But I think this is probably my issue, and also the fact that the longest I've been away from him is 2 nights, so he's not used to it. Actually he was fine - he was with DP in our house, and though DP had only been living with us a month or two, he must have felt safe with him.

I think she will be absolutely fine, especially if she knows her GPs well and is used to staying with them - and you could build this up easily in advance. I don't think there's much particularly happening between those times separation wise. The important thing is that she has a good relationship with her GPs and has stayed with them before. I think the only thing which could make a difference developmentally is whether she would be reassured by hearing/seeing you on the phone or skype or whatever, or whether that would upset her more.

Will DH be around even if working lots?

An0therName Tue 25-Oct-11 21:47:32

I think her not coming to india is definately the right plan - could your DH take a few days off say around the weekend you are away so its not so long without both parents? - and we did skyping when my DH went away for 3 weeks - my DS 2 y 2 months I think - he really missed his dad but it was fine

meditrina Tue 25-Oct-11 21:52:53

I left my DD for a week when she was 12 months old. She doesn't remember it now.

There is no perfect time. But any time when you can be confident she'll be well looked after is good enough.

tostaky Wed 26-Oct-11 11:11:25

I left my DS when he was 9 months and according to my parents he was really happy. No ill -effect, when i came back he was just his usual self. i dont think he realised... now, however is harder...

I think it comes down to how you feel about it and how your parents will take care of your child. are they confident? not too old? will they be able to go for a walk everyday, once or twice? etc etc..

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