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Help please, not sure what to do with super competitive 4 year old DS.

(6 Posts)
Notinmykitchen Sun 23-Oct-11 12:25:41

DS, just turned 4, is absolutely mad about football, it is all he wants to do. We have always encouraged him, he currently goes to football club once a week, and we were just about to let him go twice a week. We also regularly take him to the park for a kick about. The last couple of weeks we have had tears on leaving football because he has not scored a goal.

Today however he took it to a whole new level and had a full on tantrum when they were told to stop playing. This was apparently because he wanted to keep playing until he scored again. He punished himself by doing it as all the children get stickers at the end, and he missed out because he was busy having a strop.

I was so embarrassed, and I am not sure what I should do now. I do not in general think being competitive is a bad thing, but he takes it way too far, every time he doesn't win at anything we have tears. He has been told over and over that he can't always win but he just does not seem to get it.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to address this I would be very grateful!

ll31 Sun 23-Oct-11 12:30:31

dont think you can really do anytghing ur not already doing- ime lots of kids r like this and it just takes time beofre they realise that showing their anger at losing isn't a good thing

Notinmykitchen Sun 23-Oct-11 15:31:27

Thanks for that, makes me feel a bit better!

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 23-Oct-11 15:36:46

I used to have a problem with DS at kids' parties, that age. Every time I'd pick him up he'd be furious about not winning some game or other and it was getting embarrassing. In the end, I had to threaten 'no more parties' if he didn't sort it out. In your shoes, I would set similar expectation before he goes playing football next. Tell him that you don't want any strops if he doesn't score a goal etc., and that if he throws a paddy, he won't be going to football again for a while. If he loves football, it'll probably work.

bigTillyMint Sun 23-Oct-11 15:39:39

My DS is super competitive but is now able to keep himself under control. He is 10, so only 6 years to go grin

When he is a bit older, get him into a proper FA team - the coach will help him to rein his frustration in wink

Notinmykitchen Sun 23-Oct-11 18:00:50

CogitoErgoSometimes, thanks for that, sounds familiar, DS cried at his own birthday party because he didn't win musical statues. There are extra football things on all week this week due to half term, and DH has told him tonight that he can go, but if we have anything like today's performance he will be coming straight home, and he won't go again. Fingers crossed that will do the trick!

bigTillyMint, 6 more years, noooooo!! grin

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