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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Parenting

6 weeks baby cries as soon as I put him down in the cot. Any advice?

19 replies

Susemyoli · 20/10/2011 17:53

I am getting so tired with him. Nowdays he seems only content when he is held. As soon as I put him down to sleep he wakes up and cries. Has anyone got the same problem?

OP posts:

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Flisspaps · 20/10/2011 17:56

Get a sling. Co-sleep if you need to. Will he let you swaddle him and put him down?

He's still tiny, and he's spent 9 months all snuggled up inside you. Being anywhere other than with you is terrifying (and a PITA for you).

TTSP (This Too Shall Pass) :)

titferbrains · 20/10/2011 18:14

Suse, was about to post with same problem. Going nuts. DD suppertime, he had a lovely nap in sling this aft, failed to get him to sleep for more than a few min in cot this morning, have been trying to put him down to sleep in cot with blanket over whilst trying to get DD supper ready, he is screaming as I type. Falls asleep after a few min in boob, cries if away from my boob.

I think this is supposed to be a growth spurt time, according to my wonder weeks book but I am really getting frustrated. Just not sure how to get thru each evening on my own.

Off to give him a cuddle.

TTSP yes but what the fuck do you do when you have another kid to handle. For all the ranty posts about CIO/CC on MN, I'm assume everyone with more than one child has left the new baby to cry it out at some point. I'm trying not to leave him to cry much but it's almost impossible to avoid at this point! I

Susemyoli · 20/10/2011 18:14

Sling is out of question...i suffered from split abdominals during pregnancy. The doctors could feel baby's limbs and after birth all my guts protruding out. Not nice. I still have SPD, mild but it hasn't disappeared after birth :-(

OP posts:

Susemyoli · 20/10/2011 18:18

titferbrains... I occasionally have to leave him crying...have 2 daughters who do need their bits and pieces...water, food, toilet...I just wonder if there's anyway to make DS get used to the cot slowly...At night, thank god, he is fine and will wake up only for his feed.

OP posts:

Flisspaps · 20/10/2011 18:27

Even when it's just the one, yes, you do have to leave them to cry at some point (going to the loo etc). Leaving a newborn to cry because you have to go to the loo or another child needs feeding isn't the same as CC/CIO.

Susemyoli Other than what I've already suggested, I don't have any other ideas. I wish I did!

ShowOfHands · 20/10/2011 18:29

Advice? No. Sympathy? Yes.

I just don't put him down unless I have to. I do use a sling which is invaluable but also have a v strong right arm where he is usually nestled and a very able left hand for doing everything (even washing up) one-handed. We also co-sleep and my job in these early weeks is to keep him close. It will change, it did with dd, it's just getting through the early days.

Deffo can't use a sling? Lots of different ones. I put ds in a wrap or ring sling most of the time and he's up high against my chest, my shoulders taking the strain. Nowhere near my abdominals. I appreciate that it just might not be possible though. And boo about the spd. Are you getting any kind of treatment?

titferbrains · 20/10/2011 18:37

my plan is to have a go with Baby whisp shh pat method in a couple of weeks...

going to get a relative to look after dd while i do all naps/bedtime using method. hope to get him falling asleep by himself in 4-5 days.

dreading it but as he's waking 20 min into a nap i know i have to help him thru that jolt/wake up and shh pat seems to help with this. no other baby book seems to advise on getting over this anyway.

i use sling but am nearly 6 wks after csec and it seems to make stitches ache at end of day. so not keen to wear baby thru supper bath and bed with lots of bending involved etc.

Susemyoli · 20/10/2011 18:52

titferbrains let me know how it goes, hope to use this method if successful!
showoffhands i have been referred to physio at hospital to get my abdominals back to normal, if they don't go back the other choice is surgery. For my SPD they said it's going to take a while, could be up to 6 months till I feel better.

OP posts:

TheGhoulsAreJewelled · 21/10/2011 11:25

For the first couple of months, DD would only sleep on me (although at night I could transfer her s-l-o-w-l-y to her cot eventually). I can't really remember this, just that I used to moan to DH 'I can't get anything done' - was v frustrating, but now that it's over, I miss it! She's 8mo, and will now only sleep in her cot.
No advice, apart from to remember 'this too shall pass'!!

WitchesBroomForMyChin · 21/10/2011 11:35

My DD is exactly the same, she's 14 weeks now and tbh i felt so much better once I just accepted that she wanted to be close. It was more frustrating trying to convince her to sleep in her Moses basket and then failing every time. I've decided just to try and go with what she wants and hope she grows out of it. Hope things get better for you op.

MudandRoses · 21/10/2011 22:39

The No Cry Sleep Solution book is very useful - a gently but effective method I found (quite common sense really but takes a bit of patience).

bibbitybobbitybloodyaxe · 21/10/2011 22:43

This is the thing that all expectant for the first time parents need to know (that putting a baby down to sleep very often does not work out how you planned it).

mousyfledermaus · 21/10/2011 22:55

does the cot feel cold?
I found putting a large bath towel under the sheets helped making the bed feel less cold.

GreyTS · 21/10/2011 23:06

Swaddling, I highly recommend it. Both mine screamed blue murder when put down - cot, moses basket, wherever but swaddling worked. Took a while for them to stop fighting it but after a while they relax into it as soon as you start wrapping. Also did baby whisperer with dd1 (shush pat) takes a lot of patience but worked, not necessary with dd2 she was a little more agreeable. And I agree with this too shall pass but sympathise as I remember only too well the days when I couldn't do a thing without an attached baby.

PipPipPip · 21/10/2011 23:32

Oh gosh, yes, I know all about it! My daughter was just the same! The main thing is to remember that A) this is totally normal and B) it is just a phase.

We tried all those tricks - hot water bottle in the moses basket, using a sling, just letting her sleep ON people for hours on end, using an AmbiNest etc etc.

I guess at some point, I realised that it was okay for my daughter to cry a little bit. If I knew that she was tired, well-fed and had a clean nappy I would put her down and think "okay, I'll give her five minutes and see how she goes". Sometimes she'd go mental and I'd pick her up within that time, but sometimes she'd get herself off to sleep.

FutureNannyOgg · 22/10/2011 10:43

If you can afford it, see a chiropractor with your SPD, they are awesome, just find one that knows about pregnancy and postnatal stuff.
I would second trying a stretchy wrap and wearing it high, it spreads the load, I was wearing DS in a Sleepy wrap 5 days post c section, and found it more comfortable than being pregnant, by a long way.

YesShesAGirl · 23/10/2011 22:02

Just wanted to add that my dd was also a teatime screamer! Was really stressfull. But we cracked daytime sleeps by putting her down and leaving her, before i was running up and down the stairs at every whimper, now she can self settle and therefore napping better in day means she is happier and less over tired at teatime. I have three other children to see too so sometimes she will just have to wait a moment or two. I suddenly realised a couple of weeks ago that she has suddenly become alot easier at around 8-10weeks. So yes it will pass. Fingers crossed!

sunnyday123 · 23/10/2011 22:48

DD1 was the same. i started by lying in the bed with my arm over DD til she fell asleep. I then put her in the cot, standing next to her and holding my arm around her/holding her hand until she fell asleep . Eventually i put her in but stood next to cot til she fell asleep and just backed away over several nights - i could never have done the controlled crying thing - seems unnatural to me

hiss42 · 25/10/2011 05:52

my 9 week old ds will only sleep in our bed (fine for some, but not ideal for us)if I settle him. He goes down fine in his moses basket when DP settles him [henvy]. Try that?
I shelled out for a £28 slumber bear, it doesn't work. A friend reccomended putting some of your breast pads in the cot and a hot water bottle a few mins before he gets in. and I agree wiith the blanket/towel to lie on. DS also has a bit of a shiny balloon obsession, went shopping bought the shiniest one available from the guy selling helium ones and tied it around Ds'S cot, he's too distracted by it to realise he's been put down!

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