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Why is it so wrong for a boy to like performing arts?

(25 Posts)
Matildathebrave Mon 17-Oct-11 20:12:47

My 9 year old who is not at all sporty has joined a performing arts group and loves it. He is not loud or particularly confident but is gradually coming out of his shell and enjoying it.

His dad is so mad at this and keeps yelling at me and our son saying it's wrong and it's for girls.

What can I do?

JambalayaCodfishDIE Mon 17-Oct-11 20:14:04

Tell his dad to shut up. smile

orienteerer Mon 17-Oct-11 20:14:24

It's not wrong at all, does his dad never watch TV/Films/Plays.......who fills the male rolesconfused?

Georgimama Mon 17-Oct-11 20:16:01

It isn't. Has his father ever watched television?

RuthChan Mon 17-Oct-11 20:18:46

How sad that his dad should fail to be happy that he has finally found something he enjoys and is good at.
There are far more male actors and musicians in the world than female.

EverybodysScaryEyed Mon 17-Oct-11 20:23:19

Does he think that it will 'turn' him gay? I believe some people believe this in the same way that if you let your toddler son look at a toy pushchair he will turn into a girl.

Tell him to join the 21st Century!

In fact, at my school all the boys wanted to be in the school play because it was the best way to get close to the girls!!

verlainechasedrimbauds Mon 17-Oct-11 20:40:00

Well you obviously know it isn't wrong for a boy to like performing arts. His dad is wrong and judgmental and daft!

I am guessing that his Dad may be homophobic ? Do you think he believes his son will somehow be corrupted or "turned gay". I do unfortunately know a couple of people like this.

Many aspects of the performing arts require a good level of fitness (so are a good way for non-sporty types to get some exercise) as well as being a great way to meet friends and improve social skills. My ds also found that he was often surrounded by girls which he rather enjoyed as he got older wink.

LancsDad Mon 17-Oct-11 22:18:22

Is his dad sporty and is he perhaps just disappointed he hasn't followed his footsteps and he worries they won't have much in common as he gets older.

My situation is a bit reversed in that I'm a musician and would love to have been able to be in the same orchestra / band as my son.

Bur despite all my best efforts he isn't the slightest bit interested but plays footy 4 times a week for 2 teams.

Just a thought

verlainechasedrimbauds Tue 18-Oct-11 01:09:49

LancsDad that's quite understandable (that you would have like him to share your interests), but you are not saying he can't play football are you? You probably wouldn't say a girl couldn't play football because it was "for boys" either - would you?

As for what you can do Matildathebrave, well you could tell him he is being ridiculous. You can also be glad the your son will hopefully not grow up with the same ludicrous attitude.

Tyr Tue 18-Oct-11 02:20:34

His dad is being completely unreasonable and is likely to mess the lad's head up if he doesn't drop the attitude. Aside from being worthy by its own merit, music and art will open doors for your son; much more than sport in my view.
Does his father appreciate music at all and if he does is it only female artists. If not, he's illogical as well as a hypocrite. Parents should encourage the talents children naturally have- not the ones they think they ought to have.

FannyNil Tue 18-Oct-11 03:42:06

Agree wholeheartedly with Tyr. Your DP should look to what your son needs and enjoys, not his own prejudices.

Shaz2011 Tue 18-Oct-11 06:50:57

It's not wrong it's for sex tell his dad to grow up and keep up with the times men & women can do anything they want despite their sex, if your son is happy doing it than let him carry on why should he change what he loves or enjoys to suit his dad

cory Thu 20-Oct-11 09:28:34

Teenage dd tells me there is a certain cache for a boy in being good at acting: according to her, it has a definite pull factor.

Maisiethemorningsidecat Thu 20-Oct-11 09:33:24

It's homophobia - the whole nudge nudge, wink wink thing that sadly still goes on. Tell your Dad (politely!) to keep his outdated opinions to himself. Your son sounds like he's having a fantastic time, and should be encouraged by every member of the family smile

Pagwatch Thu 20-Oct-11 09:35:24

It isn't wrong.
His dad is being a total pillock.

Pagwatch Thu 20-Oct-11 09:36:29


It is the boys dad saying it is wrong, not ops dad.

So slightly harder to tell him to keep out of it I would imagine

Maisiethemorningsidecat Thu 20-Oct-11 09:38:28

Oop, so it is.

Still would tell him to keep his outdated opinions to himself. He's being an idiot.

Pagwatch Thu 20-Oct-11 09:41:39

smile yes. Still an idiot.

Maisiethemorningsidecat Thu 20-Oct-11 09:43:50

Very sad though, isn't it? You generally assume that your DH/P is going to be as supportive as they possibly can be of everything your DCs do sad

(within reason obv!)

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Oct-11 10:11:37

Is his dad stuck in the 1950's or something? hmm Point him in the direction of all those 'girly' actors like Bob Hoskins, Ray Winston or Ross Kemp. Would he walk up to Vinnie Jones and accuse him of doing something that's 'for girls'?.... LOL.

Take no notice. Dramatic arts are an excellent way of developing confidence, teamwork, language skills, all kinds of terrific stuff that boys need just as much as girl.

Bugsy2 Thu 20-Oct-11 10:17:37

Get his Dad to go & watch him at his performing arts group. Failing that beat his Dad around the head with a wet fish & tell him not to be such a moron!!!! Start watching alot of James Bond & remind him that Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) is the wealthiest under 25 alive!

bonkers20 Thu 20-Oct-11 10:25:03

Crikey! If your DH is like that it's no wonder your DS has a shell he's hiding under. Poor lad.

You need to find out exactly why your DH feels like this. It could really damage your son's self esteem. Is your DH somehow insecure with his own masculinity?

zizza Sun 23-Oct-11 16:10:19

My son's been doing ballet seriously for 10 years now and says it's a great way to meet fit girls.

Ephiny Sun 23-Oct-11 16:17:16

Performing arts are for girls? What an odd thing to say - last time I checked there were plenty of male actors, singers etc around. And most of them are not gay, not that it should matter if they were!

If your DS has found an activity he enjoys and it's doing him good and building his confidence, this is absolutely a good thing. Tell his dad he's being ridiculous. It's a shame he can't be supportive of his son, but failing that he should keep his negative comments to himself.

Tarenath Sun 23-Oct-11 19:09:23

My son has been going to a dance/drama class since he turned 3. There's loads of boys that go. It's a fantastic confidence builder and loads of fun

You could always remind your ds's dad that in the shakespearean era performing arts was very much a male profession with female roles being played by boys/young men as it was considered "disgraceful" for women to appear on stage.

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