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moan moan moan - i am so bored of SAHMing on own at weekends. i need to pull myself together BUT I CAN'T BE BOTHERED.(19 Posts)
grrrr. someone help me kick my ass out of the house and into a park. i have no mojo and i am so sick of weekends without dh - it's so lonely and hard work.
The answer is: make plans.
If you plan to meet someone at a specific time, you'll be motivated (forced) to get up , our and moving. It will also help with the loneliness.
Going out also helps pass the time in a happier way than simply sitting at home feeling tired and grumpy. Time also passes more quickly (believe me, I know).
there is rarely someone that can or wants to meet IME. even rarer to get it to happen 2 weekends in a row.
Dh gets this a lot when I am at work for a weekend. Have you got enough money for a treat - lunch out, cinema, soft play? (depending on age and temperaments of the children).
Try and get dressed by a reasonable time (at least in time for the afternoon.) If weather is half decent add in a walk/outing to the park. Even if you only go for an hour or so.
I think you are right Booooyhoo (sorry if not enough o's). Lots of people/friends are busy at the weekend with their own families, so meeting up (unless you are fortunate to have local family yourself) can be hard to set up.
When dd was younger, I spent many pleasant Sunday afternoons with a single Mum friend. She was in the same situation as me. We'd alternate going to hers or coming to my place and would often share a nice Sunday lunch.
Other Sundays were spent going to museums - we especially liked some of the weekend programs that were put on for children. Or, we'd take a flask of hot chocolate and some buns and go to the park for a play/bike ride followed by a little picnic.
Oh, I so sympathise, I'm wallowing in it too
My dh works 1 weekend in 3, I work full time too, so on the weekends he works i feel i dont get a weekend, its all feeding, naps and cleaning up after baby, its a real battle to get it together to get out
It's easy to say make plans, unfortunately my family live 300 miles away, my friends all do family stuff at weekends, so it leaves you. feeling like a single parent
And biggest grate of all, when dh works a weekend he gets Friday and Monday off, but he pu5s his feet up, does minimum cleaning (he does help out but not to a womans extent) and always puts dd in nursery!
Urgh, I used to hate weekends when mine were small as DH worked them and the entire world apart from me were doing happy family things! So much that my elderly neighbour once said hello to me over the garden wall and ended up with me sobbing on her shoulder!
I wish I had been able to find someone in the same boat (might have scared her off by being a bit needy if I had!) but I never did.
It really is better if you can force yourself out to the park. I used to regret it by teatime if we hadn't done anything as the children would be much easier to manage in the evenings if they'd had a run out! I totally understand how the park isn't high on your list of funnest of fun things to do on a damp Sunday but it really does make a difference!
If they are old enough to invite a friend over that can help, even though it means you have more children, a change of dynamic breaks the day up a bit (and may result in yours being invited back - can but hope, eh!)
It does get better, but not sure of how much a comfort that is when you are in the middle of it.
get up early and take them to park, to museum etc def get out of house.. nothing work than being in house non stop all day
I find most people are having family time at weekends, which can be hard sometimes. I just try to get out and about, today we emptied all our 2ps out of the money box and went and played on the penny drop machines on the pier. Dc also had their first game of air hockey while we were there.
It can be hard to get out of the frame of mind of needing/wanting another adult to do fun family stuff with though.
Definately get out. Have a look out to see what is on locally. Can the children have a class (ie swimming/gymnastics/drama) that is on a weekend day? My dd's are 4 and 2 1/2. dc3 due any second (tonight I'm hoping!) My dh often works weekends.
I hate going to the park on my own - so would avoid it if I'm not meeting up with friends. I also hate soft play places.
We have lots of castles where we live so would head off to discover a new one every weekend.
Go to the local markets to pick up veg/fruit for the week
Try and go and do something that you will enjoy too, I do think that is the secret. If you are having a good time too it makes it fun for everyone and time flies.
Walks, collecting nice stones from beach to paint. Driftwood to make 'sculptures'. I like making stuff and get the children to make stuff too. Most of it looks crap but we have a nice time making it.
Go somewhere nature-y and take loads of 'artistic' photos of children. Most of mine look very amaturist but I have a small handful of fantastic shots which are in frames. Both children have very very cheap cameras and love taking photos.
We bake a cake most weekends. It looks a shambles as girls make it from start to finish but they love it and it always get eaten
Some places have toddler groups that are held on the weekend.
Some swimming pools have family time where extra lifeguards are insitu so you can take 2 children into the pool on your own.
Go to ikea for lunch and let them have a play in the free creche if you get desperate!
We will sometimes head off to see family who live away and stay over the saturday night.
Develop your group of mates - make sure that they know that you are on your own over the weekend. I meet up regularly with a friend who's partner goes training on a saturday morning, another who is a golf widow, another who doesn't particularly like her dh so doesn't like to spend too much time with him etc!
Definately plan for a full weekend that takes you up to tea time.
I agree most people are doing family things but not all. My DH plays golf every sat afternoon but my friends (mostly NCT group granted) know this and if one of them's husband is busy, at a stag do, DIYing, hungover, watching football they like to escape with me and DS for a few hours.
This is what FB etc is for, no?
Make some plans. Do it.
tigress i tried the FB thing once before. i posted something along the lines of "if anybody fancies meeting up with the dcs today we're looking for company" and some mean old grump replied "that has to be about the most desperate thing i have ever seen on FB." i was so embarassed i never tried it again.
Me too Booooooyhoo, have posted on there a few times when I've been at a loss and mostly I just get no replies at all! And once I got someone commenting "loser". And my mum once replied something about me being billy no mates which was nice and supportive of her.
Although it can work, I once saw two friends (who I didn't know very well at all just through preschool) discussing an upcoming night out on fb and as I knew I wasn't going to have the dc that night I invited myself along I don't think they minded as they have invited me out a few times since then!
freakoid!! can't believe your mum said that!! see i know it would happen again if i tried it now. there would be somone sitting laughing at me having no mates and would have to post to make me look stupid. and how do you reply to something like that??
Ok so that FB tactic didn't work but then I'd try something more structured.
"kids and I are off to the farm on sat afternoon to check out the piglets, anyone else looking for company?"
I'd try again...
yep, it's worth a try for sure. i think that guy just scared me off the whole thing as it was the one and only time i had tried it. once bitten and all that. but you are right. moping about doesn't achieve anything far better to keep trying. never know, maybe someone will get so sick of me posting every week they will take pity on me and agree to meet!
I would book the dcs into some sort of class on a Saturday morning - gets you all out of the house and you can talk to other mums while they do their thing. Quick whizz round the park afterwards and then justifiable dvd time in the afternoon. Sundays I would do morning cinema - £1 at Odeon round here - or swimming or library (ours does films for free on a Sunday).
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