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talk to me about a 2 year age gap?

(11 Posts)
PipIsOutNow Mon 10-Oct-11 15:23:58

hey guys!! havent posted for ages on here been super busy with life!! hope everyone is well!! just wondering if some of you can offer some insight into 2 year age gaps...I have a 15 month old little boy now and we're looking to start trying to conceive next month so would be a 2 year age gap...I know they are pros and cons to all ages gaps but would really really appreciate some advice on what I'm about to let myself in for!! thanks and lots of love xx

LillianGish Mon 10-Oct-11 15:36:29

I have a two year age gap between dd and ds and imo it is perfect. Hard work initially, but at least you are not out of the habit of nappies and and broken nights so it's not that much of a shock to the system. Dd can't remember life before ds so we had no jealousy issues and the pair of them have always been really good friends. Also they are so close in age they can do a lot of things together - eg tennis, skating, swimming - they've always been pretty much in the same class which makes it easy from a point of view of taking them to activities. The first few months was tough - you will wonder what you did with your time when you only had one, but I'd say that is fairly universal. I very quickly got into a routine with the pair of them and we have never looked back. To be honest I look at friends with a bigger gap and think it looks like harder work over a longer period - waiting for the youngest to catch up enough so that everyone is interested in doing the same time and coping with the sort of jealousy issues that come from number one being used to being (and having a much clearer memory of being) the centre of attention.

twinklespeciallyforlittlegirls Mon 10-Oct-11 15:47:58

I'm so glad I read this! Just found out about DC2 and will have 24/25m gap, all being well. That sounds lovely and I will try not to worry too much. Good luck with TTC, OP thanks (I know they mean thanks but I like them for good luck too!)

flamingtoaster Mon 10-Oct-11 15:53:38

My DS was 26 months when DD was born and it worked perfectly. He was old enough to be "helpful" and fetch things, loved sitting with me for a story while DD fed, and once she began interacting he was fascinated with her and would entertain her brilliantly. She loved watching him and they were wonderful friends (still are). Only problem we had was she got frustrated sometimes if she couldn't do things as well as he could and we used to have to keep explaining he could do it better because he was two years older!

DorisIsAPinkDragon Mon 10-Oct-11 16:20:32

I have 23 months between dd1 and dd2, and 23 months between dd2 and dd3 grin

It is fine, there are always pro and cons but we love it ( I was also one of 3 girls with 22 months and 18months between us respectively).

The girls love playing together (although as with 3's there are often loud arguments) but it's fun. DD3 is now 2 so has started to involve herself ALOT more in what the other 2 are doing and she misses them massively when they are at school!

camdancer Mon 10-Oct-11 16:23:01

I've got 22 months between DS and DD1 and 27 months to DD2. Obviously I like the 2 year gap! I found the first year hard with DS and DD1. DS didn't get jealous until DD1 was about 6mo but he was still very little. Things got easier when he could do simple things like climb into the car on his own, and could walk longer distances but basically having two babies was very tiring.

But then they started to play together and it has been great. They entertain each other and enjoy the same types of things. That is changing a bit at the moment as DS has started school so is learning school type things and DD1 is a bit left out.

And DD2 is only 4 months but things have been much easier with her. I don't know if it is just her personality that is easier, or the fact that DD1 is 27 months older rather than just 22months, or that DD1 is quite mature as she has an older brother to copy. Whatever it is, I am thankful for it! I hope that as DD2 grows up, she'll be friends with DD1 in the same way that DS and DD1 are.

PipIsOutNow Mon 10-Oct-11 17:26:13

wow thank you all for your fantastic responses!! and thanks twinkle for the best wishes and flowers!! It's nice to hear how positive u all are as well...dont get me wrong I know it's not all plain sailing but neither is any age gap is it!! I already have a dsd who is now 7 and is very jealous of ds as she has had all the attention for 6 years...i like how u said that at 2 they are not old enough to realise that the attention is shared out etc...and ds still isnt sleeping through so def no worry about being out of the habit of broken nights!! ha! just out of interest too, have any of u had a VBAC? as this is something else I have started a thread on in childbirth...wondering your thoughts on whether to VBAC or not!! xx

suburbandream Mon 10-Oct-11 17:27:43

We have a 20month gap and it's great. They are close enough to still like the same things and play well together. Was hard at first of course but great now they are older.

madhairgirl Mon 10-Oct-11 17:37:05

I've got a 22 month gap. It's hard at first, but at least didn't have to worry about unsuitable toys around the baby. They are now nearly 5 and 7 and keep saying that they are best friends, which is so lovelysmile

isthisweird Mon 10-Oct-11 17:43:00

22 months between DD1 and DD2.

Would do it all over again in a heartbeat with the first 2. If we had a third DC though I'd like at least a three year gap. Mainly, actually because I find pregnancy very hard with a still very toddly toddler. Also, I had no family anywhere nearby and DD2 wasn't in any childcare so I think it was tougher than it may have been in other circumstances and I would want DD2 in at least pre school, if not school before we had another.

First year was HARD work. BUt I loved it (mostly!) None of the loneliness you get with your first but you have a little buddy to keep you company. It feels like the instant DD2 turned 12 months things got easier. They play together now and it's lovely to see, they have such a close bond and there isn't a huge gap in terms of what they enjoy playing with.

I'd recommend it.

isthisweird Mon 10-Oct-11 17:45:22

Just seen your VBAC question. Didn't have one but had an ELCS with DD2, and contrary to what everybody told me the recovery was absolutely not a nightmare with a toddler around. Obviously everybody's experience is different but I really didn't struggle with looking after DD1 at all (did make sure she was in a bed and out of a highchair before DD2 was born though, which cut down on lifting).

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