I just had a potentially scary lesson. Never assume that any other adult knows how to use a piece of equipment, no matter how obvious it seems.

[BranchingOut]

We went out last night and my son's grandmother was due to put him to bed.

I explained that she needed to take off the bed-guard and then put it back once he was asleep. This bed guard is fixed with clips at the side.

THis bed guard clicks into place, but (not realising this) what she did was to slide it out, including the base and some straps which can be used to fix it to the bottom of beds. SHe then slid it back in under the mattress and I realised just now that, of course, the straps didn't go back under properly so overnight there was a loop of strapping right beside where he was sleeping. Obviously he could have got his arm caught or worse. :(

My blood is running cold. I thought that she knew how to use the bed guard as it has been up for a couple of weeks when she has been putting him down for naps - but she was lifting him over it and had never taken it off before. I feel very guilty for not double-checking, letting my son down by not going into the detail.

I am writing this to get it out of my system and for the benefit of any other parents. Bed guards, car seats, prams, slings - any equipment, if it involves your baby or toddler don't assume anything. :(

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I think you shouldn't overreact. Everyone makes mistakes and 99.9% of the time there's no real harm done. 'Blood running cold' is a little extreme

[BranchingOut]

Well, that is what I am feeling. Choking and strangulation are the main cause of accidental death for children under 5 - I happened to find the stats a couple of weeks ago.

I am not going to give her a hard time about it. The fault is mine.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Don't give yourself a hard time either but look around at any other equipment you've got and ask yourself if it's actually necessary. I've never personally owned a bed-guard... is there a need for that?

[MinnieBar]

Sounds a rather complicated bed guard - I wouldn't know how to operate one like that.

So not obvious, not her fault.

[fatcaaah]

Why do you have to take it off then put it back on?

[JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar]

Sounds like a stupidly designed bed guard tbh.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Given that the badly-dismantled bed-guard constitutes a choking risk, would it be better to leave it off all together and take the much smaller risk of a child (I'm assuming) rolling out and falling a few inches onto the floor.... ?

[JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar]

You are right though of course, OP.

[JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar]

You are right though of course, OP.

[booyhoo]

OP there are far simpler and safer bed guards available for not too much money. for your own peace of mind, get one and get rid of this thing with teh straps. you will not relax if she ever watches him again. not even that, what if he manages to un hook the straps himself. get rid of that guard.

[BranchingOut]

Thanks for messages.

Am thinking of cutting off the straps as the bed guard should still function properly without them. When it is used properly it is fine, but obviously if not then problems emerge....I guess that's why they call them accidents.

We got the bed guard after he did roll out of bed when co-sleeping and got a nasty cut on the edge of the bed (not his cot).

[HoneyPablo]

Agree with corgito

[ebbandflow]

I have also never used a bedguard, I'd be quite worried about those strap loops. I'd get rid of the bedguard if I was you.

[ChippingIn]

Why did you insist she undid it and re did it when she had been happily lifting him over it?

It really is an 'Oh bugger' not a 'blood running cold' thing though - maybe you need to look at your reaction to this. Blood running cold is when they run into the road & a car narrowly avoids hitting them, you are going to be in a right state by the time he starts school if you react to a non event like this :(

[Trills]

Doesn't sound in the slightest bit obvious - so yes you should remember that things you have done a million times are simple because you have done them a million times, not because they are actually simple.

I agree with ChippingIn that you sound overly anxious.

[BranchingOut]

It was this one:

www.amazon.co.uk/BabyDan-Wooden-Bed-Guard-White/dp/B001CRA5QO?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

I am quite risk averse and having children has brought this out in me.

So no one else suffers from constant morbid images of accidents befalling their children? (hopefully half joking)

[BranchingOut]

I click it in and out each night as part of our going to bed routine, so I was explaining to her how I normally do it.

[Llanarth]

have you seen the foam bedguards you can get?

www.bed-guards.co.uk/

[omnishambles]

Is this bedguard on your bed or on a toddler bed - your own bed is one thing as it is higher up but we have never used one on a toddler bed or single bed and both of mine have been in non-cot beds quite early.

When we go to other peoples house or on holiday we just pile up some cushions on the floor.

I do worry a lot about things happening to the dc - I think that's normal and not something you can control but what you can do is work on your reaction to that fear and how you cope with it.

[Floggingmolly]

Why on earth do you click it in and out as part of your going to bed routine? That sounds both unneccessary and bizarre, to be honest?

[HoneyPablo]

BranchingOut
You are the perfect person to answer the questions posed on my thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/1316671-Help-Need-your-thoughts-on-risky-play-for-my-dissertation-proposal
I would appreciate your views.

[ScaredTEECat]

Looking at that picture, what straps are you talking about? Is it fitted correctly that there are straps hanging off?

Much better to get one of these: that folds down when not in use.

And I agree, you do need to relax a bit. Of course others have visions of what might have been but not constantly. It's the word constantly that makes your reaction a bit extreme.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

"So no one else suffers from constant morbid images of accidents befalling their children? (hopefully half joking)"

Of course we do. But we have to evaluate whether it is irrational anxiety or a rational concern in order to assess and deal with risk appropriately. It's a balance.

[booyhoo]

OP never mind what sort the bed guard is, just get rid of it, it is causing you too much unneccessary anxiety. just dump it and but the simple folding kind. there are no straps or clicking to worry about.

[BranchingOut]

If you look on the picture the straps are just visible on the base part of the frame. Usually they are safely out of the way under the mattress, but because the whole unit had been slid out by his grandmother, they had become accessible.

Falling out of bed had never really worried me as such, until he did fall out of bed and got a nasty cut which has marked his chin. :( So I don't think that choosing to use a bed guard doesn't necessarily mark me out as unreasonably anxious, and obviously they are commonly marketed for toddlers and young children.

The clipping in and out is part of our routine because I bf him lying down before he settles himself to sleep. This product is designed to do this, just as the folding-down ones are designed to fold down, so again I don't think it is a case of 'why on earth' am I doing this.

However, I suppose anxiety about him does crop up quite a bit in my mind. I find myself pushing away a negative scenario in my mind about once an hour? Possibly more. Not sure. Less when I am distracted or absorbed in something. I thought it was just the downside of motherhood - the worry is the price you pay for all the good times.

I posted in order to alleviate my feelings and make a point about communication. Last night I thought that I had communicated everything necessary for his care before going out, but my fault was that I had made an unrealistic assumption about what his grandmother was accustomed to doing. I have definitely seen this kind of thing crop up on other threads on MN - I think there was one recently about grandparents transporting a baby unsafely because of not knowing how to use a car seat. I am a really careful person and I think I was a bit shocked with myself that this had slipped through my net.

I do take the point on board about keeping anxiety under control. Thanks to everyone who has posted.