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Younger child fully potty trained before the older one - please reassure me that the older one will do it eventually!

(8 Posts)
thedevilsinthedogstail Thu 06-Oct-11 09:34:12

I have put this here and not in potty training because I need some reassurance from people who no longer have potty training issues. We have 2 DD and the older one (3.5yrs) will still only poo in a nappy - no amount of cajoling, encouraging, pointing out how it is cleaner etc has made any difference. Indeed I know now it has made it worse and she has dug her heels in about it.

Meanwhile the younger one (2 and 1/4 yrs) is within 3 weeks fully potty trained and dry completely at night- indeed I think she could not wee in a nappy - consciously woul not want to whereas older one has a very wet nappy in the morning and seems not to mind either wet or poo nappy.

I know we have to just wait and she will eventually go to the toilet (she does wee in the toilet) but I just wondered if someone else has had this and when did their child grow out of it?

I know now not to make any comment, not to compare her to her younger sister etc etc but it is the waiting that is frustrating for us as we know she could do it.

words of wisdom/experience please

InTheZenGarden Thu 06-Oct-11 12:59:47

Watching with so much interest.
DS is only 1, so nowhere near potty training yet, but DD is 3.5 and has the same issues as yours.
Nothing has worked - peer pressure ("everyone at preschool does it on the loo", "big girls do it on the loo" etc), bribery (we have discussed what present she could get when she stops needing a nappy, she happily tells me what she's going to get, but then says she's not a big girl yet, so is going to keep using nappies)

I am so frustrated, but don't know what to do. Hope you get some solutions/hope!! smile

bobblehead Thu 06-Oct-11 18:56:25

My older dd was like this. One night dh forgot to put a nappy on her and she was dry in the morning so that was the end of the night time nappy (she always wakes up to pee in the night, younger one never seems to need to...). I think this happened between 3.6 and 4 yrs. The pooing in a nappy stopped suddenly at about 4.6. Just got out the bath one night, pooed in the toilet and back in the bath again, no looking back since!

mumeeee Fri 07-Oct-11 11:30:43

A lot of children find doing a poo on the toilet difficult DD3 was like this but she was fine by the time she went to school. Being dry at night is completely different to being dry in the day it's something to
with some hormones that kick in ar night. DD1 was dry during the day at 18 months but wasn't dry at night until she was nearly 4 ( well that was mostly dry. She still had a few accidents until she was 7). DD2 wasn't dry in the day until she was 2 years and 8 months and was sry at night a couple of months later and didn't have any accidents after that.

BusterTheDonk Fri 07-Oct-11 11:48:29

what happens if you don't put a nappy on her...?

I had to do this with our 2.6yr old - I was convinced he was holding it in until the night time nappy came on so I knew he understood and could control it... we took a gamble & ditched the nappy and the very night day he couldn't wait any longer and did one - no looking back from there....

In saying that, once he'd got over the poo barrier, and knew where to do them, we now put pull ups on at night as he is still sometimes wet... never ever gone back to poo'ing in them though..

cold turkey??

MyMelody Fri 07-Oct-11 11:54:28

look at your younger childs success as proof that it is not your fault and your older one is simply not quite ready yet, she will get there in her own time i'm sure by the time she turns four she will have cracked it, probably well before then actually, remember 3 1/2 is still very young they are all different.

MyMelody Fri 07-Oct-11 11:58:24

oh, and don't let your older one know that you are stressed or frustrated by it (easier said than done i know!) but they can pick up on that, so just stay as jolly as possible about it and give lots of praise when she makes progress and remain calm and quiet when she doesn't - she will get there!

lots of 3 and half year olds have not quite cracked it yet but you only hear the mums whose children were trained from 18 months chatting about it, the others keep quiet!!

Bonsoir Fri 07-Oct-11 12:00:23

Gosh, she's only 3.5 - leave her, I thought you were posting about a 5 year old!

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