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Any other mums/dads whose partner works shifts/travels for work?

(11 Posts)
milibear Wed 05-Oct-11 18:24:47

Hello!
I'm calling all parents who have partners that are often away from home due to work.
DD is 6 weeks old and things are going well, but I would like to know how do you get out of being lonely mode?
DP travels a lot and I miss him so much! Before DD came along, I liked the time to spend alone to just have a bit of me time, and some time to clean and tidy the house. How things have changed since then!
It's fine during the day, but the evenings!! It doesn't help that the sun is going down earlier.
What do you do to keep yourself upbeat?

4madboys Wed 05-Oct-11 18:32:58

well my partner works shifts and does nights/evenings, generally three a week and often does shifts that span over 2days and then is home for half a day and back at work for another 2 days and goes away for the odd long weekend or week and tbh i dont mind too much, it is hard work with 5 kids but i am religious about getting them all to bed by 7:30-8pm so i can tidy up and then chillout!

i watch crappy tv, cant wait fro grays anatomy and desperate housewives to start again!!! and i read, go online, SLEEP plus i have four pack ups to sort out and uniforms, pe kits, swim kits and general house stuff to do in the evenings.

i dont think i feel particularly lonely, but occasionally i invite a friend round for a girly night, or i pamper myself with a lovely long bath etc.

i think with your dd being so little the key will be to get some sleep when you can.

oh i sometimes (shoudl do it more often) use the wii fit or do an exercise dvd or use the rowing machine we have.

LikeACandleButNotQuite Wed 05-Oct-11 18:36:42

If you have Sky+ then abuse it now! Record anything and everything that takes your fancy, and watch as and when you have downtime. I never watch anything at its proper scheduled time anymore.

Make a fuss out of certain shows (hahah, sorry a lot of this is TV based). There are three things on at th mo I am loving as well as a couple of friends/family members, so we have 'Idiot Abroad' or 'X Factor' nights in, chuck some nibbles on and usually after the show play a couple of card games. You may still not feel up to entertaining at 6weeks, but they really are small informal gatherings (5 of us mx)

Cassettetapeandpencil Wed 05-Oct-11 18:38:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort Wed 05-Oct-11 18:40:07

Well - my DH has always travelled abroad since I met him (25 years ago grin) - I enjoy time alone with my DS - actually I love time alone ! I find it quite odd when he is at home for long periods to be honest !

I have lots of hobbies I can do at home - I read, spend lots some time on Mumsnet, exercise to DVDs, just chill out ! Invite girlfriends round. Catch up on committee stuff/paperwork etc. Eat/drink what I like !

Portofino Wed 05-Oct-11 18:47:50

6 weeks is very early days. I think if you were used to being at work before, it can be VERY hard to start with. Do make a point of getting out of the house during the day. I bloody hated the baby groups, but you might not. I used to arrange a lunch with work colleagues, or go into to town and hang round in M&S as that was where the best baby adoring old ladies hung out. Second the idea of recording lots of stuff to watch. If finances allow, get yourself a little treat for the evening, something nice to eat or drink.

wigglesrock Wed 05-Oct-11 19:26:14

My husband works shifts, he can get held on as well so if all our timings are up the left, sometimes the dds don't see him for 2-3 days at a time, he also works weekends so sometimes you can feel a bit bereft.

I am another one who likes the alone time, but I have 3dds - youngest 7 months so during the day it can be hard to go for a wee alone. I watch a lot of box sets, Virgin catch up, and obviously MN grin

IvyAndGold Wed 05-Oct-11 19:41:23

DP is a manager at a restaurant, and some of his shifts are just crazy. Sometimes he doesn't get in until the early hours if it's been a busy night, so that's lots of evenings in on my own. I record a few series, make full use of the internet and have a PS3. I have DD, but she's just a toddler so it does get bloody lonely in terms of adult conversation! I'm also in the process of moaning at DP until he gets us a dog, even if it's just so I have someone warm to cuddle in the evenings! grin

RunningKatie Wed 05-Oct-11 21:43:00

My DP works away Mon to Thurs a lot of weeks and has done since I've known him. Our DD is 8 months now and sometimes I do feel like a lone parent, it seems hard at the moment with weaning and trying to get her to take formula so I can have the odd evening out.

What I've done is join practically any and every baby group around - not all of them were my cup of tea but I've got a good variety to pick from when I need it so we go out and they wear her out a bit too. We also go out for a walk every day, even if it's just to the shop to buy a paper and chocolate

DD is currently at the clingy stage, so once she's tucked up in bed I attempt to tidy up the house after the daily chaos and then I work through the stack of books by my bedside that is threatening to topple over.

sarahtigh Thu 06-Oct-11 19:45:01

my Dh works from home mostly so although very busy and often works evenings in workshop (at top of Garden) he is always popping in for meals or possibly snakcs or to use landline then every couple of months he is away for 3-4 weeks at a time just now he has been away 3 weeks, it can be hard especially when DD gone to bed but also not seeing him at lunch etc, I get cabin fever and so go out most days and then spend evenings watching TV or ringing friends for long catch up chats

I lived alone for years before i git married and had DD so am sort of used to quiet house at night but once you get used to DP around you miss them, also spend much longer on MN doing important stuff on computer

milibear Fri 07-Oct-11 13:44:10

Thanks for your replies, mums! Looks like I will have to find hobbies I can do at home and watch loads of telly. Maybe once DD is a bit older and goes to bed earlier and for longer.
smile

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