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dummy or not for 7 week old?

(40 Posts)
sparklytoes Tue 04-Oct-11 18:35:07

Hi there, I am confused about my thoughts on dummies! My dd is 7 weeks old and some nights can cry herself into a right state. Sometimes I think it is wind/reflux and try and bring it up, sometimes I think she has just had enough of the day...the hv suggested that a dummy might soothe her a little just so she can enjoy her bath, feed without fussing etc. She doesn't seem to need one in the day and I'm kind of reluctant to start a habit I might find diificult to get out of. Also, she has started to become more interested in sucking her hands and I think it might only be a matter of time before she finds her thumb - a friend advised me that I should give her a dummy to stop this as I can always take a dummy away eventually. I just don't know what to do - don't really like them but wonder if it actually would be better to try her with one - what are your experiences?

hayesgirl Tue 04-Oct-11 19:06:44

I am having the same dilemma with my 6 week old so would also be interested in peoples thoughts x

clarabella18 Tue 04-Oct-11 19:11:29

Personally I did with both of mine. They were both grizzly night time babies right from the beginning. Ds1 gave his up to Santa when he was 3. Ds2 is currently 20 weeks and now only occasionally has his for daytime naps he doesn't bother with it on a night anymore.
It really is a personal choice despite the "advice" other people may offer. You may even find that if you offer one they may just not take it.

Uglymush Tue 04-Oct-11 19:16:51

Speaking from personal experience, I didn't have a dummy so sucked my thumb. Gave up sucking my thumb at 26!! I think it would have been much easier if I had been given a dummy at nights.

pettyprudence Tue 04-Oct-11 20:03:51

I gave in and got ds a dummy at 6 weeks. I then spent the next 2 weeks trying various dummies to find one he would take, but when he did, it was such a change in him! Calmed him right down and made bed/nap times a whole lot easier. I really limited its use though to only sleep time, and never put it back in his mouth when it dropped out (once he was asleep). By 18 weeks he spat it out for good as he didn't need it anymore.

My reluctance to use a dummy in the first place was because I had visions of trying to wrangle it off a 15yr old grin

MrsVidic Wed 05-Oct-11 05:21:51

It's unbelievably easy to get rid of a dummy- and they r a god send for teething, sleeping etc. My dd only had hers at night from 10 months and gave it up at 18 months. Dd2 8 weeks won't take one sad

An0therName Wed 05-Oct-11 10:38:47

worth trying I think - my DS1 wouldn't take one -my DS2 did and gave it up about 9 months or so

Loobyloo1902 Wed 05-Oct-11 21:18:07

I'd second the advice above and suggest trying one. My DD had one from birth and voluntarily gave it up at about 2 months old. My mum never gave us dummies and now wishes she had!

MerryBlessings Wed 05-Oct-11 21:29:07

Dummys are great. They really relieved stress in our household and helped with sleeping. I took it away at 8 months because he was waking to find it. Taking it away was incredibly easy and was not a big deal whatsoever! Glad we used it, glad we now don't have it - one less thing to worry about!

MangoMonster Wed 05-Oct-11 21:31:32

If your bf, dummies arent recommended but if you're not and shes sucking her thumb, you could give it a go.

sparklytoes Wed 05-Oct-11 21:41:19

What are the reasons for not using dummies if bf? Bf is going well so far, she feeds well except when she is fussing and fretful at night. Just started to attempt feeding her some expressed milk in a bottle, but early days at the moment (btw - what bottles are best for that?!). If we were to try a dummy, are there any that are meant to be better for babies that are bf? thanks!

An0therName Wed 05-Oct-11 21:49:06

some people say it can give nipple confusion and if you have supply problems probably better your baby sucks on your nipple to build supply than on a dummy - but if BF going well I wouldn't worry
btw my DS1 just used to feed and feed in the evenings - its quite common

ChippingIn Wed 05-Oct-11 21:56:48

When she's like that does she not even want to feed?

If she doesn't want to feed I'd try a dummy, but I would take it away after a couple of months, once she is past the sucky stage.

sparklytoes Wed 05-Oct-11 22:08:36

Sometimes she will feed, but often when she is fussing, I think she wants to but is too fretful to. She will be on and off like a yo yo, spitting it out and then back on until she gets herself worked up. If I take her off completely, she cries to go back on again. Its not a massive problem and with my dp's support, we get through it fine in the evening but I just feel so sorry for her as she gets herself in a right tizz. Just wondered what to do to help her feel calmer really.

ChippingIn Wed 05-Oct-11 23:27:10

Do you think there could be a problem with your supply if she's getting frustrated trying to feed? It would seem odd if it's only at that time of the day - is it even possible? If you can rule that out then I'd go with the dummy - but it may take a while to find one she likes and she may not even take one - worth a go though surely!

MrsBloodyTroll Wed 05-Oct-11 23:45:38

Sounds to me like wind/colic which sucking can help to soothe. My DC1 was almost identical and I didn't use a dummy with her, but now wish I had. Main reason is that I became the only person who could soothe her, was an absolute slave to her, became exhausted and resentful.

At some point you will want or need to be away from her, and introducing the dummy and bottle gives you some flexibility.

With DC2 I am using dummy (sparingly) and it has been much easier so far. He is almost 7 weeks.

Try reading up on colic. I recommend tummy massage.

estya Thu 06-Oct-11 16:29:09

Its instinct for a baby to suck. Many years gone by babies would be sucking on the breast all day and all night. Some babies have this instinct stronger than others.

Dummies aren't a great look but I do think its better (and easier) to help your baby scratch their itch when they are really little.

I'm yet to find out if LO will give it up on her own. She is 10 months and only has it in her cot.

madwomanintheattic Thu 06-Oct-11 16:43:57

dd1 was really and trult a horrible baby. grin dh and i had sworn we were never ever going to use dummies. ever.

by six weeks old she would scream non-stop for hours every evening. (from 4 until about 1 or 2am).

dh went away with work for a week when she was 6 weeks old and left me alone with this screaming squalling ball of uncomfortable colicky windy baby.

by about day 3 i was slightly on -edge wink, and a couple of friends whose dh's were also away invited me round for a chinese take-away (one of them had a baby a couple of weeks older than dd, so it was more 'keep the new mums sane'). the driver with no kids arrived to pick me up and found me sobbing into the washing up with dd1 screaming.

she whisked us all away after drying tears etc, and we took it in turns to try and soothe dd1, i fed her (she was bf), nothing but screaming. so we put her in the bouncy chair and listened to her squawk for a bit to see if she would settle.

eventually my friend with the baby said 'you know... there are about 6 freshly sterilised newborn dummies on my kitchen side.'

'oh no' i said 'dh would kill me'.

so we passed dd1 round a bit more. still screaming. back in the chair.

eventually we decided it was probably worth a scientific experiment to see if it would make a difference. <but i chickened out of doing it myself, so made my friend do the dirty deed>. so she popped the dummy into dd1's mouth whilst we all sat and peered round the bouncy chair.

dd1 immediately stopped squalling and went to sleep.

reader, i ate my take away and had a glass of wine.

madwomanintheattic Thu 06-Oct-11 16:47:23

so dd1 was a dummy baby. we took it away on her first birthday. no drama at all.

ds1 wouldn't take a dummy, despite my very best efforts grin, he would only soothe whilst feeding. wouldn't take a bottle ever. was completely plastic-phobic due to having rsv and double pneumonia at 10 weeks.

dd2 was born with no suck and gag reflex, and scbu asked my permission to use dummies to try and stimulate a suck reflex. smile i willingly agreed. (although her suck did eventually develop, she couldn't suck a dummy and was initially tube fed)

i'm well over my dummy phobia. sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.

you won't know if you don't try. grin

dearheart Thu 06-Oct-11 19:38:32

It's okay to give your baby a dummy if you are bfing, so long as it is not in the first 6 weeks (when it causes nipple confusion). If you do it, I would use it sparingly (ie for sleep etc). I gave dd1 one - massive relief. She was an incredibly sucky baby, and needed it. I took it away when she was 3 years, and she found her thumb the following week - so I disagree that it is easy to stop! Have no idea what I would do differently, but didn't give dd2 one at all.

But if the main issue is crying and fussing, then have a look at this clip about Dr Harvey Karp's 5 S's. It is truly brilliant: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddRkI5wVIqQ

GeneralDisarray Thu 06-Oct-11 19:59:05

my dd is 4 weeks breastfeed and a dummy has been a god send - otherwise my nipples would be in shreds! though I do worry about over use and weaning her off it - but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it I guess!

NoGoodAtHousework Thu 06-Oct-11 20:02:21

Dummy all the way!!

MrsBloodyTroll Fri 07-Oct-11 08:36:20

Nipple confusion is a load of old twaddle invented by the breastfeeding mafia, IMHO.

Did someone say something? grin

Seriously, I'm a big fan and advocate of breastfeeding and have not heard of any baby having this issue.

Do what works for you and whatever gets you through with your sanity and family intact.

GeneralDisarray Fri 07-Oct-11 11:55:45

well said mrs troll!! baby dissaray is on bottles of expressed, actual breast and dummy - and at 4 weeks happily swaps between all three without a blink

pettyprudence Fri 07-Oct-11 14:20:43

Spaklytoes my ds was like that too in the evening - very fussy but he wasn't colickly. It was like he wanted to suck but got pissed off when milk came out, therefor dummy was a godsend smile

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