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Seperation Anxiety - 11 month old...PLEASE HELP!!!

(4 Posts)
fraggle73 Sat 01-Oct-11 13:58:25

my 11 month old dd has started to cry everytime I leave the room, and its a full on cry/screaming. even my husband cant settle her. This all came about a day after she had her settling in sessions at nursery. i am due back at work next week and not sure how she is going to be.....am dreading it.

nametapes Sat 01-Oct-11 17:13:18

It probably is related to the nursery experience, but in time she will get used to this situation . All i can suggest at home is that you reassure her gently by calling her when you are out of the room, to reassure her you are still there. Keep telling her you are coming back in a minute. . . .and come back in a few minutes to let her know you did what you promised and came back. In time she will get used to these words.
So do the same when you take her to nursery say the same thing "I am coming back soon". I know you will be a lot longer away but its a way of reassuring her that you have not gone forever and you are coming back after work. Little ones have very little concept of time, so she cant remember if you have been gone for 25 minutes or 3 hours; 2 hours or 6 hours...etc.
She is bound to cry and cry when you go, but dont linger too long and span the farewell out every day, especially when she twigs you are about to go for a while and leave her. Keep the good bye brief and tell her you are coming back soon. She may cry again when you return which is normal.. and its not because she has had an awful time. Its a normal natural thing to do when you see someone you love and have been in a strange place all day. The emotional bond she has for you will never break , but its because of this strong bond that she needs time to adjust.
I foudn with mine when they were little , even if they have had a lovely day, they would cry on seeing you again. Its jsut an emotional release which they recover from very quickly.
Eventually she will adapt and be totally fine, once she has settled in to nursery and formed a relationship with her carers there.
Wishing you good luck, i hope its not too upsetting and she settles really fast, and you enjoy being back at work. xx

MoJangles Sat 01-Oct-11 21:17:42

I'm in the exact same situation, DS has started his settling in sessions at nursary, isn't settling at all, and is now much more anxious about separation everywhere else. I'm looking for ways to make it easier on him too and the best I've come up with (apart from the good parting behaviour described by Nametapes) is just to give him loads of cuddles and reassurance when we are together. Good luck!

Sparklyboots Sat 01-Oct-11 21:26:01

Also read WonderWeeks, it has details of the developmental stages and the accompanying 'fussy phases'. Sometimes they go through a stage of separation anxiety and it's nothing you've done or can do except wait for it to go away and be kind while it's happening. Obviously it's a bit awful for you that it's happening right when you are due back at work, but knowing that it is a normal developmental stage might be a bit of comfort.

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