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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Am I the only one who does not like baby groups?

16 replies

iwillbrushmyteethbefore10am · 30/09/2011 18:53

Just wondered if I am the only one who does not really have an interest in going to a baby group. I am interested in going to a toddler group when DD is older but just not a baby group. Will DD miss out if she doesn't go to them? Has anyone else not gone to them and DC has friends/is sociable?

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StuntCubble · 30/09/2011 18:55

I hate them. Fill of "Felicity has x amount of teeth how many does darling Tarquinius have?". Seriously. Steer well clear

StuntCubble · 30/09/2011 18:55

full

LeoTheLateBloomer · 30/09/2011 18:56

I didn't go to baby groups for my DD's sake; I went for mine. I knew no one in the area and they were my lifeline.

I doubt she got much out of it apart from the fact that now she's a toddler she's always been aware of the other children she hangs out with and their mums.

I know lots of people don't feel the need to go and I wouldn't have thought it has too much of a detrimental effect on babies as long as they learn to socialise as toddlers.

helpmabob · 30/09/2011 18:57

I find them very dull but if I go with a friend I can have a natter. But I don't think you need to go when dd a baby, she won't give a toss where she is as long as she is with you. Only really useful when she is a toddle.r Cheaper than so many other activities especially if raining. Some are better than others so worth trying a few.

MangoMonster · 30/09/2011 18:57

Never went to baby groups, was happy at home with ds. Go to toddler groups but can't say I really enjoy them. It's difficult making conversation and trying to play with ds.

iwillbrushmyteethbefore10am · 30/09/2011 19:03

Glad I am not the only one. I seem fairly happy at home and going for walks etc. maybe that will change once the weather changes but thanks for the replies.

OP posts:

Whelk · 30/09/2011 21:07

Of course you don't need to go to baby groups. they are generally for the mother's benefit.

Tbh I never really liked them, or toddler groups. I definitely never went once my dds were in nursery part time.

I much prefer seeing friends and their dc, going for walks, going swimming or just being at home baking, gardening, painting or just hanging out with my dds.

PinkEmily · 30/09/2011 21:18

I'm not a huge fan of baby groups but I went because I knew no-one with a baby and I was worried about becoming isolated.

Although some of them were a bit 'hi, my names such and such and this is blah blah' I met some lovely people and as soon as there was a small friendly group of us we left the groups and went on to do other things. I just used them short term as a platform to meet other new Mums.

But no, I wouldn't say DD got much out of it in the early days, a change of scenery perhaps? but now aged 1 she loves her little friends.

beanandspud · 30/09/2011 21:23

You're not alone, I didn't like baby groups very much - particularly those that involved just sitting around in a circle chatting and comparing children. I'm not particularly unsociable but they were quite cliquey and I felt like a bit of a muppet.

The ones I did enjoy involved actually doing something - swimming or baby signing - I found it easier to chat to other mums and I made a few good 'mummy friends' through those classes.

inmysparetime · 30/09/2011 21:30

I disliked them so much I set up my own!
I started from an ethos that nobody should ever feel like they are an outsider there, and everyone would talk to somebody each session.
I provided fruit for the snack, and welcomed suggestions for improvement from everyone (not just mums, there were dads, grandparents, childminders etc, and the children had some great ideas!)
When I moved and handed the group over, there were over 30 families each week, if you find toddler groups don't suit you, think what does, chances are other people feel that way too.

dottynosleep · 30/09/2011 22:43

nah not the only one - I'm on baby number four & have never been to a baby group or a toddler group for that matter - they really aren't my cup of tea. It hasn't affected my children's social lives!

attheendoftheday · 01/10/2011 22:36

I think baby groups are mostly there to support the parent. Can't see how it would effect your baby if you're doing ok without them.

If you do feel isolated, not all baby groups are the same so you may be able to find one you like if you look around.

LB1983 · 02/10/2011 21:42

I have attended a breastfeeding baby cafe since dd was 2 weeks old, more for me than her. Definitely some 'clicky' parents there who compare but majority in fairness, just share hints and tips like on the forums. I agree that not all groups are the same, the two I go to are completely different; ones a good laugh and the other is more serious. I've got lots out of them as I'm constantly asking questions and learning from other mums.

As for dd, she sleeps mostly whilst there (already renowned by the one group that she is "constantly" asleep- she isn't just has her morning nap whilst we are there like she does every morning!) but she has started to become familular with other babies and also getting her used to a few germs etc!

frecklyspeckly · 02/10/2011 21:55

many years since i have attended them, and in retrospect have various memories, some nice and some nasty. But one tasty nugget of advice I can pass on from another mumsnetter about baby groups is this: its all about overtired mums hating eachother
Suppose I met some very nice mums, a few who I am still in contact today, but these were the types of people who, regardless had we met through the group and having babies etc we would have been friends anyway, because we have had things in common other than the babies.
Just take it all with a pinch of salt, nobody remembers or cares really whose baby did what and when in the long run. To me it was all about getting out the house for a change of scene and a bit of company. you may well meet some very odd other mums, remember they were probably odd before the babies came along, and will possibly be running the friends of the school and boasting about whether jimmy can play the violin better than tommy in seven years time!

matana · 02/10/2011 22:12

Never been to one, never wanted to and never felt i was missing out on anything. Not my thing really, have always been happy going out and about with my DS. But then my sister and toddler niece live close by and i have a friend whose DD was born a few weeks after my DS too.

AlpinePony · 03/10/2011 05:44

Not my cup of tea at all - I'm lucky enough to have hobbies. I think if you're fine in your own company/hobbies then you don't need them. As nearly everyone has said "they're for the mums, not the babies".

You may miss out on a bit of competitive-parenting though. How will you know your child is a late-developer compared to the others if you don't go?

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