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How do I stop my three year old son calling me stupid?(5 Posts)
He's generally well behaved - the usual three year old stuff I suppose. But this is really bothering me. He's obviously heard the word and knows that it describes something bad, but he constantly uses it and speaks to me in a very disrespectful way. I've tried a few ways of dealing with it, including ignoring and explaining that it's a word which hurts people's feelings, and could be substituted for 'silly'. I don't have a problem with him using the word, but don't think it should be aimed at people, which I have also explained to him.
He sometimes says it to me in anger, or sometimes just because he's irritated or any reason, really. A very common one is something like "Could you please take your shoes off?", "No, stupid".
Being called stupid twenty times a day is really starting to get to me. How would you deal with this?
My smallest (3) says this having learned it from her teenage sister (who is normally lovely) It is most annoying, but I find the ignoring bad stuff and responding to good stuff seems to work and when I bring it up in her reasonable moments, she says sorry and understands it's not nice.
I think this age is tricky as kids of 3, although they have empathy abut some things such as being sore etc, hopefully haven't been called names, so can't understand about how name calling affects them. This is my opinion anyway and I'm sure Suoernanny would tell me to put her on the step and teach her right from wrong etc etc.
If it's just once then ignoring it would probably work. When you're up to 20 times a day in spite of having explained that you don't want to hear it then I think you have to be a little harsher because it's deliberate. 3yo are just small, not thick. I'd say (in very stern tones) that I didn't want to hear the word again and if they used it again, I'd probably cancel some treat or take a game away or whatever sanction you think would hit home.
I had some similar issues with my 3 year old, about speaking disrespectfully or rudely and tbh he still does it a bit but I cracked down on him a bit harsher as cogito said above and it has decreased a lot.
For a one off you can ignore it but if it's starting to get a habit, and it's driving you mad already then I don't think it will help to ignore - why should you have to put up with it, it's not really a nice way to be spoken to.
If it's said out of anger, frustration etc then I think at the same time as pulling them up on it have to keep reminding them the correct way to deal with these things, like if they have difficulty taking their shoes off to ask for help calmly rather than over reacting in a rude way (don't know if yours finds it difficult at all or just doesn't like it, so just an example, but mine does sometimes find it hard to do himself if he is tired and has reacted similar to that when asked)
It's more of a habit than anything now. He occasionally says it and then covers his mouth because he's just realised what he's said.
I'm just going to be more firm with it and stamp it out the way I have other things. I was just worried about making it the cool, bad word to use to get a reaction.
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