Kids talking about sex / alcohol - help!(5 Posts)
I've always taken quite an open approach with my children (8 and 6). If they ask a direct question then I give them a (age appropriate!) direct answer. So they do know most of how babies come about etc.
However I've never used the phrase "have sex" around them. Recently though, they saw two fish swimming close together in a harbour and keep talking about seeing the fish "having sex" - don't laugh!! Of course the 8yr old must have heard this phrase in the playground and they both know it's slightly naughty and therefore hilariously funny to them.
How do I get them to stop talking about it? Bit worried the 6yr old will repeat it to some of her friends who may know far less .....!
Also, again I'm assuming this has come from the 8 yr old's playground, there's lots of chat about "being drunk" or play acting being drunk. My and my dh don't get drunk (at least not in front of them or often!!) and never use that phrase and I hate them knowing and talking about it like this - they're only children for heaven's sake!
Is this normal? How do others handle it?
Thanks for reading....
Sounds normal to me! When my two boys started getting giggly about this kind of thing I bought them an age appropriate sex ed book and we went through it together and I allowed them to ask any questions they wanted. Once they had finished, I gave them a serious/stern 'lecture' on why this kind of thing is private, and why it is not something we talk about at school, with other children, or something that we are silly about. I told them that it is up to other parents when their children learn this stuff, and it is not up to other kids to decide this. I told them that if they had any other questions, or if they heard something on the playground, they should talk to me or my husband first. I repeat the lecture every time they bring home a new question, and it seems to have calmed down the silliness that used to surround every 'bum' 'sex' 'kissing' incident they brought home from school.
As for the being drunk stuff - that sounds like normal kids stuff. Again, just follow it up with a calm conversation, reminding the kids why you don't get drunk - tell them the bad stuff about being drunk, and let them know that it's not all silly behaviour.
That's really helpful actually. I've got a book or two on the subject for them so think perhaps it's time to get it out again! It's just so hard getting them not to just think everything's hilariously funny..........
They probably don't actually understand that "having sex" (which gets giggled about in the playground) has any connection to "making babies" which you have explained to them in answer to questions etc. I don't think you need to worry that your 6yo will be the first to tell other 6yos about it - they will hear it from the playground, or from their own siblings too.
You could explain to them that having sex is the thing that men and women do to start a baby (assuming you've covered that part of the process of course) and see if that makes it less of a silly giggly thing for them - they often giggle along because it sounds a bit naughty but they don't really understand.
As to "being drunk", one or more of the children will have seen someone a bit drunk, either in real life or on tv, and again it looks silly so they giggle about it. Just explain that a little bit of alcohol can make people a bit silly and giggly and wobbly, but a lot makes them feel very ill and be sick, and have a sore head in the morning.
Thanks for advice you guys. I sat down earlier, had "the talk" and opened the floor to questions and my word, they had a lot! So, answered them all and hopefully that'll satisfy the curiosity for now.....
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