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violent ex and contact

(7 Posts)
H2010 Mon 19-Sep-11 11:28:42

finding of fact court hearing
Really scared I've got a finding of fact hearing next week with my violent abusive ex. He has applied for contact with my daughter who is 16 months old. He hasn't seen her since she was 9 weeks old because he was sent to prison for violence against me. since being released from prison he has done nothing but threaten me he has tried to kick my door down at 3 in the morning, thraetend to kill me and my family, threatened to abduct the baby and told me I will never see her again, stole my car, smashed up another 3 of my cars outside my house, broke his harassment order, threatened my mum, set fire to my mums property with my disabled sister inside the list is endless. He's been to prison once for crimes against me and also been given a community order, harrassment order and a restrainuing order.. All of these things have been reported to the police and he's got a criminal record as long as my arm since splitting with him I found out he's also been to prison for harrassing his ex and assaulting her brother. With all this happeneing I've had to move house away fromall my family and friends so e doesn't know were I am. Finding of facts next week so scared he'll get access to my little princess he only decided to apply for contct when she was 7months old

Octaviapink Mon 19-Sep-11 12:17:09

This sounds awful, but what are you looking for advice on? I can't imagine he'll get contact with a record like this.

H2010 Mon 19-Sep-11 12:44:16

I'm just wanting to know if anyones been through similar and what the outcome was. I'm hoping he gets awarded no contact as I cannot see how it would be in my daughters interests to be involved with him

ConstantCraving Mon 19-Sep-11 21:30:36

Not been through this, thank god, but there are people who can support you. Have you got support from your local women's refuge / outreach service or similar? If not you can find one local to you via Women's Aid. Good luck.

H2010 Tue 20-Sep-11 10:32:13

Hi Thankyou yes I've got support from my local dv support team

any11 Tue 20-Sep-11 16:59:43

Ive been through something similar to you but thankfully not as bad, I left a violent and abusive relationship 4 years ago but still havent managed to get rid of my ex. I applied to the court for a non-molestation order against him yesterday and was basically told to get lost. left court feeling really bad but decided to give it another go today, dont know what the outcome will be but I have decied I cant put up with exs threats forever. i have abuse every week in the form of text messages and voicemails. He has no contact with children which he wants to change but im afraid of what he will expose them to they are only 4 and 5 years. I can see the court giving him rights when he clearly is an unstable person. He has had an alcohol abuse problem for many years, was abused as a child which has led him to be depressed, has no friends due to his anger issues. I dont think he can offer the children anything. my statement clearly showed the court everything he has threatened but its as if he has to carry out the threats for the court to consider it an issue.

I know this doesnt really help but just wanted you to know theres others in similar situation.

H2010 Tue 27-Sep-11 10:08:53

Thanks for your reply any11 really sorry to hear what you are going through, sorry if this sounds daft but have you tried reporting the threats to the police I rang them every time I recieved a threatening text and eventually they served him with a harrassment order, he didn't take any notice of it though and continued to harrass me he then was arressted outside my house which led him to court were he was given a restraining order. Good luck hope you get it sorted fingers crossed your ex and mine don't get contact they sound very similar and dont deserve having our precious children in there lives as there depressive and violent behaviour can bring nothing to a childs life lets just hope the judges see it that way

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