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Joint parties - how many presents!

(17 Posts)
PassTheTwiglets Sat 17-Sep-11 09:40:47

DS has been invited to a joint party next week. He only knows one of the children (who is in his class) - the other chlid isn't in his class and Ds doesn't even know him. What's the etiquette with presents? I thought it was obvious that I would only buy for the boy we know and who invited us ie. the two birthday kids would each invite their own friends and they'd get presents from that child. But most people I know seem to be buying for each child (even the ones who don't know both)... WWYD?

SomekindofSpanish Sat 17-Sep-11 09:42:44

If the invitation is in both names, I would probably do gift for known child and card for the other.

SomekindofSpanish Sat 17-Sep-11 09:43:57

Or if you can afford it, a small, token gift for unknown child?

going Sat 17-Sep-11 09:44:50

My DD has been invited to a joint party for three children. All of the names were on the invite but only one number the rsvp. I will get a present for the childs mother who I replied to.

oneofsuesylvesterscheerios Sat 17-Sep-11 09:46:08

What Somekindofspanish said.

meditrina Sat 17-Sep-11 09:46:08

I'd get a present for the child your DS actually knows.

A card for the other is a nice idea - if you shove in a pack of Match Attax cards, and it'll probably be his best present!

Mowlem Sat 17-Sep-11 09:46:10

In this situation, I do present for invited child and card for the other.

An0therName Sat 17-Sep-11 11:14:35

only for the child you know - no one will notice - and the parents of the other child will proberbly be greatful for less stuff

PassTheTwiglets Sat 17-Sep-11 13:38:44

Thanks everyone - I was also hoping for the "they won't even notice" thing smile

StuckUpTheFarawayTree Sat 17-Sep-11 13:41:13

My DD is going to one today. One girl in her class, the other, her younger sister. Taking pressie for girl in her class and card and sweets for sister.

countrylover Sat 17-Sep-11 22:12:11

I think as long as you acknowledge it's the other child's birthday with a card then that's fine. We had a joint party for DS with one of his friends and I can remember being a bit put out that a couple of the mums of the other boys friends didn't even both with a card for my DS. It's a token effort which costs very little. IMO a present isn't necessary if you don't know them.

Sleepglorioussleep Sun 18-Sep-11 21:40:02

One joint party had invites to half the children from one child and half from the other. I saw this as a strong signal to only buy for one of them and really appreciated it.

betterwhenthesunshines Mon 19-Sep-11 13:45:25

If you don't know the other child then only a present for the one you know. I think if you buy a card for the other child then they might think there was an attached present that got lost... children don't care about cards anyway!

thebeansmum Mon 19-Sep-11 14:56:30

I'm totally with countrylover - we have just had a joint party for DS and his BF. It was mainly their mutual friends from class but there were a few cousins, rugby mates etc who were well known by just one of them.

I know for sure that my DS's friends brought a card (at least) for the other boy as they all came up to me or DS, handing them over with a "this is for x".

My DS, however, received not one card from the 6 or so others that he didn't know that well. I am amazed that parents, who receive a joint party invitation, with two names on, wouldn't automatically buy the other a card, at least!

As for not noticing, as a couple of posters have said, it was noticed - I was gobsmacked at the rudeness, TBH. Still bristling from it as was only Sunday. Rude rude rude. A card, FGS! Tesco do 'em for 50p!

And Breathe ....

MrsJohnDeere Mon 19-Sep-11 15:03:14

Just buy for the one you know

bigTillyMint Mon 19-Sep-11 15:04:57

Yes I'd just give a present to the one he knows.

lynniep Mon 19-Sep-11 15:07:11

buy the kid you know a present - nd fgs keep it under a fiver. they will have a SEA of presents when they get home. I still have a cupboard full of stuff DS1 got for his birthday in march that I hid. the other kid wont even notice they havent got anything from you smile

DS1 had a joint party for his 4th btw - and I would have thought it wierd if the people invited by his party-mate bought him a pressie. I actually thought it wierd he got so many himself - I really didnt expect it. Duh of me I know!

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